The Alpha’s Regret

Chapter 7

Alpha Lucas POV

“Yessss! Yessss! Alpha. Right there. Please keep going” she squeals out as I f**k her hard and fast from behind. Thrusting into her with reckless abandon. I snake my arm around her front and rub her clit furiously in circles as she screams out louder. I know that she has reached her peak when her breathing speeds up and I feel her p***y contract around me. I’m no longer in the room now as I close my eyes tightly and chase my own release, slamming into her body hard and fast. I feel my self get closer to the edge when her face flashes through my mind quickly. Her deep chocolate eyes, her platinum hair, her soft pink lips. It’s all I need to c*m hard and powerfully. I keep my eyes closed conjuring the image of her face again as I feel my breathing begin to slow and even out. My sweet Ella. I pull myself out of the woman in front of me and pull off and discard the used condom in the trash. It’s unlikely that I will get another she-wolf pregnant since females tend to be impregnated easier when they are marked by their partner. However I won’t be taking any chances. 

The woman in front of me flips round and kneels on the bed to land a kiss on my lips. I respond respectfully but only because I don’t want to be a complete d**k. In fact, I don’t ever really feel like kissing and cuddling after s*x. I make it clear to any woman that I sleep with that I am not looking for a relationship. I won’t be able to give you hearts, sunshine and rainbows. It’s not me and anyway I don’t even think I’m capable of loving anyone since that night 4 years ago. 

It’s not unusual for me to picture Ella during s*x. It sounds creepy but my mind just always drifts back to her no matter how hard I try to stop it. It’s got to the point where I barely even try to stop myself anymore. After I rejected her, I threw myself into pack business and I’m really proud of everything I achieved so far. We are stronger and more prosperous than ever. But despite my successes, in my personal life, I have struggled. After that night, I convinced myself it was for the best but I steadily grew to regret my hasty decision. I found it hard to sleep, to eat and I couldn’t even think of another woman let alone touch one. I tried my best to stay away from her but I couldn’t help myself from sneaking daily journeys past her house to try and catch a glimpse of her. I thought about mind linking her and trying to explain myself but I knew from her family that she had no wishes to see me and now that the mate bond is broken I didn’t want to prolong her suffering any further. It would be completely selfish of me to try to seek her forgiveness. It broke my heart to sign her discharge papers in response to her application to leave the pack and join the Werewolf Council. Her father had brought them to my office a few weeks after the mating ball. I could tell that he hated me and I couldn’t blame him. I was the reason his little girl was leaving her family behind. Although I could tell he was also so proud of the career path that she had chosen. When I heard she had been selected for the military’s most prestigious course I knew that I had really truly f****d up. She had seemed so innocent and pure when I met her. But she clearly was able to handle herself. Probably better than a large proportion of our own pack warriors. I often wonder if she thinks of me as much as I think of her. She probably still hates me which would be understandable. I have casually asked her brother Jaxon a few times how she is getting on and although his anger towards me has dissipated somewhat, I can tell he is being deliberately vague with his responses. Normally he just comments that she is doing well and is the top of her class. I can’t help but wonder if she has been gifted a second chance mate yet. Part of me hopes so and the other part feels a little jealous of the idea. Which I know is incredibly selfish of me. I made my bed and now I have to lie in it. I slouch down onto the bed and check my watch to see what time it is. I have a meeting in an hour so I have to prepare for that. 

“Babyyy, I was thinking maybe tonight we go out for a date. You could take me somewhere nice in the city? It would be fun don’t you think?” The woman who I have now identified as Lana coos in my direction while blinking at me through her eyelashes. 

I groan internally at her suggestion. I don’t date and she knows this. After Ella, it took me almost two years before I could touch another woman. My mood swings grew terribly and I would sometimes lash out at others.  s*x is a means to an end for me now. A way to blow off steam and keep my temper in check. Nothing more and nothing less. I choose my words carefully and use my meeting as an excuse to get out of the so called date. I wait awkwardly after giving her the hint that it’s for her to leave. 

“Okay Alpha” she huffs grumpily and stomps off to put her dress back on. “I’ll see you this week right?” she grins hopefully. 

I feel a pang of guilt as I nod my head, knowing full well I have no intention of seeing this she-wolf again. She’s become clingy and that’s the last thing I need. 

After Lana leaves, I receive a mind link from my baby sister Olivia. Well she’s 17, so not exactly a baby anymore but I’m her older brother so she’ll always be a baby to me. I decided it was time for her to get a part time job and start learning the value of hard work. Being children of the Alpha meant that we had a lot of privileges but also many responsibilities. I wanted Olivia to learn these lessons quickly. She chose to work as my assistant answering phone calls, emails and filing. I’m sure she finds the whole thing incredibly dull which I just find hilarious. 

“Lucas I answered the phone in your office. He says it’s an old buddy from Alpha training camp or something.” She mutters half heartedly. 

“Ahh, okay put the call through to my bedroom please Olivia”  I replied back making my way over to the desk in the corner of the room. 

“Why are you in your room at this time of the day? Ewww you aren’t hanging around with that Lana one again are you Lucas? I told you she’s completely desperate and a little bit deluded.” Olivia snorts in distaste. 

“Enough Olivia. Put the call through.” I snap before cutting the mind link. I don’t stay mad at her for long. I never do. 

Picking up the phone I hear my friends voice. 

“Hey Lucas, how’s it going?” 

“Hey there stranger, good to hear from you. All good here man not much to report” 

“Ahh yeah I’m sorry I know it’s been a while since I last called. Things have been a bit hectic here.” 

“That’s right the rogue attacks. Have there been anymore incidents lately? You know you can always count on us for back up if you need it right? I can have some warriors out to you guys within a couple of hours if you need it.”

“Thanks man. I appreciate it. Actually the council have sent some help. They sent a tactical expert and small team to implement some changes in the pack. Lorenzo wasn’t sure at first but the new ideas are coming in handy so far for tightening security.” 

“Sounds good man. If he has any good ideas make sure to fire them my way.” 

“She” 

“What?” 

“The expert is a she.” 

“Wow great. Well does she know her stuff?” 

“Man... she’s f*****g incredible honestly. She took down our best warrior while hardly breaking a sweat. She’s so young yet so knowledgeable about warfare. Not to mention he’s smoking hot.” 

“She sounds amazing. What are you waiting for man. Go for it!” 

“I don’t know... I don’t know if she’s the relationship type. I think she likes me but she seems a bit unavailable.” 

“Then convince her to give you a shot. I’ve never heard you talking about a girl like this since Natalie passed away.”

“I know I feel conflicted on the one hand I can’t help myself. I’m checking her out every chance I get but on the other hand I feel a sense of guilt still hanging over me.” 

“Don’t. It’s time for you now to be happy. If you think this girl is worth it. Chase her. You never know what will happen.” 

“Yeah yeah you’re right Lucas as usual.” 

“Yep I’m a walking talking f*****g agony aunt come to me with your problems I’ll sort you out. Haha. Listen I got to go man I have a meeting in 30 mins to get ready for.” 

“No problem. Thanks for the pep talk.” 

“Anytime, you know I’m here, James.” 

I hang up the phone and think about how happy I am for my friend James. I know that he has had women over the past 4 years since that fateful day that his mate was brutally killed by rogues but this is the first time I’ve heard him practically giddy over someone. When I told him 4 years ago that I had rejected my mate. He felt shocked and he was f*****g furious with me. He was the only person I told. I couldn’t bring myself to tell my parents or even my best friend and Beta Nick. He felt partly responsible as if his pain had nudged me towards my decision. It did. But I would never blame him. I’m a big boy and I made the stupid mistake all by my f*****g self. I shake my head and smile slightly. At least someone is on the road to finding some real happiness around here.