The Alpha’s Regret

Chapter 2

Alpha Lucas POV 

“Honey, please get a move on. The ball has already started and you’re still nowhere to be seen!” My mothers voice fills my mind. 

I let out a groan and swiftly reply to her through the mind link to let her know I’m leaving my office soon. Don’t get me wrong I missed my family while I was away for Alpha training but it was nice to have my own damn mind to myself for a while. Being able to mind link your pack members can be both a blessing and a curse but luckily as an Alpha I can switch the link off if I really need to. 

I place my phone down on my desk and lean back into my chair, pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes tight. I know that I should be down at the ball already but to be honest I have been dreading the whole thing since I made the decision to reject my future mate. 

I didn’t always have this mind set. For a long time I looked forward to finding my mate. Even going so far as to attend a few mating balls in various packs to look for her. But a lot has happened in the past month that has made me think twice about the whole thing. 

The phone conversation that I have just had with one of my good friends being one of them.  We met at Alpha training and hit it off right away. He’s a Beta for a smaller pack nearby and was there to train along side his Alpha. They are both soon to take over their pack. The same as myself and my own Beta, my best friend Nick. We spent a lot of time together both training and hitting the local bars and nightclubs. That was until a month ago, when my friend received the news that his mate had died in a rogue attack while he was at the camp carrying out his Beta duties. I’ve never seen a guy loose it like that before when he got the news. It took 3 of us to pin him down to stop him from destroying the lead training coach office. His pain was so great that the very same night he tried to take his own life. I noticed him leaving the camp in the middle of the night and followed him towards the cliffs at the edge of the forest. After getting to him just in time, we sat for hours in silence and he cried in agony for his dead mate. I’ve never been a man who has been able to show my emotions easily but even I could feel the depths of his despair. I didn’t know what to say at the time but I don’t think there are any words that could have said that would have made a dent in his extreme anguish. It was one of the roughest moments of my life and a night that will stick with me for a long time. Since we left camp, I have called him every day to check in and chat. Some days he doesn’t say much, which is understandable considering that things are still raw and fresh. I now count him more like a brother and I know that he feels the same way. I think he finds it easier to talk to me than his Alpha due to the fact that his Alpha is newly mated to none other than his dead mate’s sister. Seeing their happiness everyday must be a hard pill to swallow. 

I sigh deeply as I push myself up from my chair towards the mirror in the corner of the room. I adjust my tie slowly and stare at my tired looking appearance. I haven’t slept great recently. My mind constantly drifts back to that night by the cliff edge and all I can think about is the fact that I never want to be in that situation. I never want to be shattered and broken. It wouldn’t be good for my pack. Our pack is one of the strongest and largest in the north and needs a strong Alpha to maintain it. As an Alpha in training, I never struggled with anything. In fact I excelled in all aspects of the job and know that I will run this pack smoothly once my dad hands over the reins later this year. I had finally made the decision this week that if I find my mate I will reject her quickly before the bond can take hold of us both. It would be better this way. The Moon Goddess would possibly grant her a second chance mate and I would continue to take over this pack without worrying about protecting my future Luna. I’ve witnessed some Alpha’s wrap their mates up in cotton wool. Too scared to let them leave the house without an army of warriors in tow. You see, being a Luna puts a target on your back. The most sure fire way to bring any Alpha to his knees is to go for his Luna. Due to their heightened emotions and anger issues, many Alpha’s have gone crazy over the loss of their mate. I can’t and won’t let that happen. It will be better for her. I convince myself. No one wants to live their life with a target on their back. 

Making my way downstairs I spot my Beta Nick chatting to some good looking she- wolves as per usual. We both have never had any trouble attracting the ladies. In fact, if anything it sometimes gets on my nerves how much some women throw themselves in my direction. So eager to agree with my every word just because I am the Alpha. I have yet to meet a woman who challenges and interests me beyond physical attraction. On my approach I feel their attention suddenly shift to me and they practically fall over themselves to introduce themselves and grab my arm. 

“Thanks for that Lucas, I was ready to pull one of them until the Big Bad Alpha shows up to steal my thunder” Nick scoffs as he pushes me toward the ballroom. 

“You’re welcome to them, I’m not feeling it tonight if I’m honest” I retort back grumpily. 

“Hey what’s got into you man, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you with a girl. You need to blow off some steam. I’m sure you’ll find a willing candidate here tonight” he chuckles, gesturing to all the females looking at me hungrily. 

Walking into the ballroom it suddenly hits me. The most intoxicating scent of strawberries and vanilla wafts in my direction and sends my wolf into a frenzy. 

“Mate!!” He howls loudly. “Let’s go find mate, she’s here!” 

Shit s**t s**t. I scan the room in a panic and my eyes land on the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes upon. Her nose wrinkles as she places various foods onto her plate by the buffet table. Her pink dress makes her look every bit the Goddess that she is. She clearly hasn’t scented me yet since she seems content and unaware of the fact that she has just shifted my world upside down. 

“Who is that girl, over there, in the pink?” I say to Nick. Trying to make my voice sound smooth and casual. 

“Ahhh, Ella I think her name is. She’s Jaxon’s younger sister. I’ve seen her a few times during training. She’s got some skills man. Not to mention she’s hot as f**k!” He replies while taking in her appearance. 

It irritates me that he is looking at her that way. My wolf if ready to claw his f*****g eyeballs out. This is the exact situation I wanted to avoid. I once knew an Alpha who put his own brother in a coma due to being so crazed during his mates heat. 

I already feel the bond trying to pull me towards Ella. I’ll need to deal with this quickly before it gets out of hand. I send Nick to get us some drinks as I have a feeling I’m going to need one after this. 

Suddenly, I see her sniff the air and head back to her table. After whispering to one of her friends, she scans the room and our eyes lock. Her chocolate coloured eyes have me in a trance and at that moment I know that I would die for her. I snap myself out of my daze and gesture to the balcony hoping that she will follow quickly. 

Heading outside the air hits my face and I suck in a deep breathe ready to be engulfed with her overwhelming, delicious scent. I grip the railing for dear life and steady my heartbeat as I hear the tapping of her heels approach. I turn to face her and up close I can appreciate her beauty even better. Her skin looks soft and has a tanned glow. Every inch of her body is perfection. My eyes drift up to her perky breasts hugged by her soft gown and I swear I start to grow hard just at the thought of having them in my hands. Her mouth is slightly parted in shock and I can’t help but imagine how good it would feel to run my tongue along those perfect soft lips...

Shit. I need to get myself under control. 

“We need to go to our mate! We need to mark her and make her ours right now!!” My wolf claws at my brain begging to be set free to claim her. 

He knows what I’m about to do and he’s pissed to say the least. He’s never been on board with the idea of rejecting our mate. It’s taking everything in me to hold him back and to go against every instinct in my body. 

Her innocent eyes stare right through me. And this only strengthens my resolve. She’s too innocent. Too pure. She would be better off without me. I take a deep breathe and say the words that I know I have to say. I’m surprised when she instantly accepts my rejection with dignity and class. I was at least expecting some begging and pleading on her part but I’m glad that she didn’t. I don’t know if I would have had the strength to continue on with this plan. When the bond servers, I feel a pain deep in my gut and it knocks the wind out of me. I double over in pain and concentrate on pulling myself together. The physical pain I’m feeling pails in comparison to what I feel when I look at the sight of my former mate before me. She’s on the ground now. Hugging her knees and sobbing her heart out. I run to her and try to tell her how sorry I am. I want to explain myself but I don’t know where to even start. 

“What the f**k is going on here?!” I hear a voice shout from behind me. I turn to see Jaxon storming towards me in a rage. It’s clear despite his question that he knows fine well what has happened here tonight. 

“You rejected her?” He accuses me loudly waiting for my reply. 

All I can do is nod pathetically in his direction. I put my hand out to place it on my mates shoulder when I feel Jaxon yank my arm away. 

“Don’t f*****g touch me Jaxon, I’ll rip your arm off. I’m still your Alpha. Don’t you forget it” I growl lowly at him. 

He cowers away a little but straightens himself out. 

“Yeah whatever you asshole, get away from my sister. Don’t touch her. You’ve done enough.” He huffs pushing past me. 

Part of me is glad that she has someone here to look after her and part of me is pissed at his disrespect but I let it go considering my wolf is also going berserk in my head. He’s howling furiously and whimpering in pain. I try to reassure him that this is for the best but I feel him retreat away from me and I know that he needs time to deal with all of this. 

All I can do is watch as Jaxon picks Ella up from the ground and rushes off in the direction of the gardens below. My heart feels empty now that she’s gone and I’m hit with an overwhelming sadness. I decide I need to get the f**k away from this balcony and head back to my room. I storm angrily toward the bar where I see Nick holding a glass of amber liquid towards me. I down the contents in one go and ask the bar tender for the bottle. He obliges quickly sensing my threatening aura. 

“Wow. What’s got into you? Are you alright? You look like you’re about to kill someone.” Nick eyes me suspiciously and I briefly consider filling him in on what happened but I can’t bring myself to relive the whole situation again. I grab the bottle and glass and head for the door without another word.

Back in my bedroom I drink the bottle quickly and allow myself to wallow in my pain and self pity. I close my eyes and instantly picture her beautiful face looking at me with pain and confusion. I feel a tear slide down my face in response. I’ll allow myself this one night to grieve for the relationship that I snuffed out before it even had a chance. As of tomorrow. It’s time to move forward. Without her chocolate eyes. Without her love. 

Without her.