Chapter 51 (Pt. 1)

1303 Words
"Leira!" Misa whimpered, jolting awake from the awful dream of a bull crashing into a purgehouse carriage. A warm glow of a lamp shone into her eyes. She glanced down at her hands and saw the spatter of blood. Her stomach churned. It hadn't been a nightmare. It had been real. Tears blurred her vision. She dropped her feet over the bed and stood, staggering, still woozy from what she had witnessed. Where was she? Misa took a moment to observe her surroundings. Wooden walls, a bed with no sheets, a bare desk, and a stool with a lamp on top. Nothing was familiar. She approached the door, forcing her feet to drag across the floor. Leira. She had to know if Leira was okay. She grabbed the knob, and the sickening image of the sergeant hanging from the bull's horn crashed into her mind. She cried out, jumping back, shaking her head in hopes that it would go away. The terror in his eyes. By everything holy, they had locked eyes before he died, and she had seen the spark of life disappear. A cold draft touched her skin, sending her over the edge. She shivered, even as the temperature climbed; cold sweat broke out. The door burst open, and Misa fell back, hitting her bottom on the hard floor. "Misa?" Royle rushed to her, concern bright in his eyes. "Are you all right?" "Royle." Misa quivered under his touch, still recalling the horrific accident that had happened before her. The officer impaled by the bull, the officer crushed by the weight of the carriage. She couldn't stop shaking, couldn't stop the images from invading her mind. "The officers..." She covered her eyes, but the images wouldn't go away. "They...Are they..." "Shh." He gently pulled her hands from her face. "No. Two of them didn't make it out alive, but Officer Durvan and Avan are okay." "And Leira?" Misa gripped Royle's arms. "Leira. Is she...?" Royle's lips set into a grim line. A rush of blood roared in Misa's ears. "Royle, tell me. Is Leira okay?" "I don't know." Misa snapped. The fear built into something bigger, anger taking over the frustration of wanting to know if her friend was safe. "What do you mean you don't know?" Her voice was shrill and high-pitched. "It was a mess," Royle said, a haunting look glazing his eyes. He looked exhausted. How long had Misa been out? "I won't explain the details to you, but we recovered the bodies and took the injured to a doctor." "Leira," Misa demanded. "What about Leira?" "She's gone." Misa's stomach dropped. She choked back a sob. "Her body, I mean," Royle quickly corrected. "I don't know if she's still alive, Misa, because she wasn't with the rest of them." "What?" Misa shook her head, unable to register what he was saying. "What do you mean? I don't understand. She was there with us." "It's as I've said. We pulled everyone out of that carriage, but Leira wasn't inside." A sliver of hope flickered. Misa squeezed Royle's arm. "Maybe she's alive, then. Maybe she made it out of the carriage. We have to look for her. She's somewhere out there. She could be hurt." "Misa..." Then, he crumbled. His eyes shone with unshed tears, and he pulled her towards him. Misa went limp against his shoulder, the shock of it all still fresh in her mind. She remembered the pure, abject terror when she realised Royle would be in the direct impact with the bull, of the danger he'd been in. Her first instinct had been to pull him away with her. In the heat of the moment, she had forgotten about Leira, her friend who had sacrificed her dream to teach a petty cadet a lesson because Misa had let him push her around. And the innocent officers who had friends, family that cared for them just as much as Misa cared about Leira...they didn't deserve their fates. Misa had left them all, acting to save her own life instead. The first tear slipped past her eye. "I could have saved them," Misa whispered. She entwined her arms around Royle, letting her tears soak into his uniform. "If I just told them the reason, if I didn't panic, maybe they'd still be alive." "It's not your fault." As impossible as it should have been, Royle pulled her in even closer, to the point he nearly squeezed the air of her. "You were in just as much danger. It's not fair to put you in that position. You didn't do anything wrong." "We have to find Leira." Misa rubbed her cheek against him. "She has to be alive. Please." "I've already tasked my men to look for her, and I'm looking into how the accident happened. I'll get to the bottom of it, I promise." "I just hope she's okay," Misa said. It was the only light she could see in the darkness clouding her. The hope that maybe, even without Misa's intervention, Leira had found a way out on her own. After all, the only officer who had stayed in the confines of the carriage survived. It was something to cling to, something she could hold on to without thinking of those dead eyes that stared at her, accused her of failing to save him. Royle stroked her hair. "When you were almost crushed by the bull," he murmured, so softly that Misa, even as pressed against him as she was, had to strain her ear to hear him. "I...I've never been so terrified in my life." Misa sniffled, understanding his sentiment. Fear didn't even begin to describe what she had felt when she remembered Royle was still in the carriage. When she realised Leira was still in the carriage. "Promise me, Misa," Royle pulled back, taking hold of her face between his hands, almost hovering as if he was afraid he'd break her. He wiped away her tears. "That you will never, ever, put yourself in danger like that again. For anyone." Misa let out a breath. "I can't." "Misa." His tone was more assertive, with a sort of underlying desperation. "I'll never forgive myself if someone gets hurt because I refused to intervene." Misa shut her eyes, still seeing that sergeant flopping against the bull's head, gored so brutally that he had no chance. An image that would forever be burned into her memory. "If I could have prevented it. I won't just stand idly by because I'm scared of getting hurt. I won't promise you that, Royle, because I know you'd do the same." Royle sighed, signaling his resignation. Misa opened her eyes to look at him. "The ser...the one who..." She clasped her hands together, so tightly that she was sure her nails would draw blood. "With the bull. What was his name?" Royle offered it to her without question, to Misa's relief. "Colvin Watcher. The other one was Taketh Weatherbay." "Colvin Watcher," Misa echoed. She traced the blood on her skin, her stomach clenching at the sight. Colvin Watcher's blood. "It's not your fault," Royle repeated once more. "Remember that." She nodded, staring at her hands as she picked at her nails, unable to speak. She nodded because even though she knew Royle spoke the truth, she would never forget what had happened on the streets. She would never forget the terror, the panic in her chest, the sickening squelch when the bull gored Colvin Watcher or the crunch of Taketh Weatherbay's bones beneath the heavy carriage. She would never, ever forget the guilt, the regret that she could have done something more, just a little more to convince them to get out of the carriage. And that was something she could never forgive herself for as long as she lived.
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