Witch Bewitched (New)

Chapter 61

Misa awoke to the sun beaming into her eyes. She stretched, yawning as she felt the bed for something. For someone.

But there was nothing except the sheet covering the mattress, and she smiled sadly. It had been a dream. Nothing but a dream. Of course, it had been. Because something like that couldn't happen between them. Ever. Unless it was in her dreams, where none of it could seep into reality.

She touched her heart, sending her mind forth to Tika's magic, the source that had gifted her with such a vivid dream of being in Royle's arms, engulfed in the blanket of security he always wrapped around her.

Thank you. I needed that.

Misa got off her bed, planning to relax this Dailib and maybe visit the lake beneath the mountains. She considered coaxing Torren to give her a loan, just so she could buy some paints and finally achieve a small part of her dream.

She took a quick bath, soaking in the cold water, remembering the hot kisses Royle had planted on her skin. Her skin had reddened, and Misa dipped half her face into the water in an attempt to cool off. Part of her sang with joy that none of it happened, but another, deeper part yearned for it to have been real.

Misa shook off the thoughts. The dream was becoming more of a distraction than anything else. Maybe it wasn't what she needed, after all. She had to focus on Leira, not on Royle's...

"That's enough," she muttered to herself. She finished cleaning up and left the bathing room. Her mind was going mad. She needed something to keep it from wandering to Royle, a way to keep that chest of his memories tightly shut, locked so no thoughts of him would sneak into her dreams.

Misa pulled on a dress before exiting to the kitchen for breakfast. Torren would already be up. He always was an early riser. Or perhaps it was simply a result of being a purgehouse lieutenant.

Murmured voices filtered into the hall. Misa froze. Visitors? She looked down at the dress sweeping the floor. Who could it be? If it was someone from the purgehouse who had come to see her, going out in a dress would ruin everything.

Cursing under her breath, Misa slinked back to her room to change. She tightened the band on her chest, buttoned up her uniform, but she didn't bother to tuck it into her trousers. No need to fully adhere to the purgehouse dress code on her day off.

When Misa emerged from the hallway, she prepared herself to greet whoever had come to visit her. She tried to think of anything she had done in the past two weeks that may have given her away, or of anything that she might have done that would merit a visit from the purgehouse. Had she unwittingly gotten into trouble?

She took a cursory sweep of the area, trying to appear casual and nonchalant. Torren was at the dining table, sipping a cup of coffee. Who was he talking to?

"Misa?" Torren said when he took notice of her. He frowned. "Why are you in your uniform? It's Dailib."

"I know." Misa shrugged, joining him. "I just...I thought I heard...Oh, never mind. Let me go grab something to eat."

She retreated from the table, making it into the kitchen. A light sizzle and a thick fog of salted bacon, eggs, and garlic cream engulfed her at the entrance. Misa froze. Her blood pulsed through her veins. Her mouth went dry.

A tall familiar figure stood by the stove. Broad shoulders flexing as he flipped the eggs in the pan. He was wearing the same black shirt and the same brown breeches from the night before. What was he doing here?

"R-Royle?" Misa choked. But it had been only a dream! A figment of her imagination. Royle couldn't possibly be here. He hadn't broken into the house the night before. Right? Because he was the captain of a purgehouse, and it was a crime to trespass.

Royle glanced over his shoulder, sending her a breathtaking smile. "Did you sleep alright?"

"What are you doing here?"

Royle raised a brow and held up a skillet. "Cooking?"

"No. I mean, what are you doing here? In Harthem?"

He slipped the eggs onto a plate and turned off the stove. "You didn't let me tell you when I arrived last night. Why don't we talk over breakfast? It might be a little...difficult to get through."

Last night. Misa touched her heart, felt it punching into her hand. She was still dreaming. She had to be still dreaming.

Because if she wasn't. If what happened last night had truly, really happened...

"Misa?" Royle was in front of her with plates in his hands. "Are you alright?"

Misa's heart skipped a beat, and her face warmed. She stepped back to let him pass. She followed behind him, watching him as he placed the dishes on the table. Torren thanked him as if this was the most normal thing in the world.

A dream. She must still be dreaming.

"Misa?" Torren said, snapping her out of her thoughts. "Come take a seat. What's got you all in a daze?"

"Torren, please tell me." Misa took a seat next to Royle. "Am I still asleep? Is this a dream?"

"What are you talking about?" Torren quirked a brow, lips pursing in thought. "Are you okay, Misa? All this training must be taking a toll on you. Maybe you should rest today."

"It's not that. But...but..." Misa glanced at Royle and found him staring back at her. Her cheeks flushed as she looked away. No. It was wrong. It was all wrong. She picked up her fork, using it to poke at her egg.

She kissed him. She kissed Royle. How many times was it? Twice? Thrice? Oh, heavens. She kissed him! And it hadn't been a dream.

"Misa?" Royle said.

She flinched. No. He wasn't supposed to be here. Why was he here? Why did she kiss him?

She couldn't look him in the eye. She kissed him. He hadn't initiated it. Not this time. Misa was going mad. She must have been going mad. This couldn't be real. What had she done? The line had been crossed. She had somehow, in a dreamlike stupor, leaped over the chasm and crossed the line. And now, there was no going back.

"Misa," Royle repeated. He put a hand on her thigh, shooting tingles even through the itchy material of the uniform. The very same tingles that had played with her the night before, sending flutters into her stomach, tricking her into thinking it was all in her head.

"I..." She swallowed, still unable to face him. "I can't..."

"Misa, look at me." Royle demanded. Misa couldn't stop the tears from forming. She had kissed him. And if she told him to forget about it, that it hadn't meant anything...She feared she would lose him, push him away, ruin whatever bond they had shared. But this fear. This disgusting, overpowering fear. The fear of losing him fighting with the fear of being tied down by him. What could she do?

"Look at me," Royle urged. Gentle. Soft. Misa found herself complying before she could stop herself. He cupped her cheek. "It's okay."

Misa clamped down on her tongue, fearful of what she would say if she let it loose. That she would hurt him, that she would seal her fate. And she hated herself for it. She hated that she had destroyed their bond by acting without thinking.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, grabbing onto his hand. "I'm so sorry."

Royle shot Torren a look, and the lieutenant immediately understood. He had no glint of mischief in his eyes, no hint of a smile on his lips. Torren gave Royle a nod and stood, taking his cup of coffee with him as he disappeared into his room.

Royle waited until Torren shut the door before saying, "Talk to me."

"Royle, I..." Misa couldn't bear to look at him, to tell him the truth. That she had kissed him the night before because she thought it would be nothing. "I didn't...I was..."

"Is this about...last night?" Royle barely withdrew from her, but Misa had seen it as clear as if he had shot away like an arrow. The concern in his eyes, the fear reflecting Misa's own. How could she do this to him? To give him a part of herself that was never meant to be given?

And the memory of those lips. The hot, blazing trail of fire they left behind. It had been real. All real. She looked away, watching the yolk of her egg ooze onto her plate. Half raw, half cooked, an anomaly between two sides. What had they become? They were no longer friends. No, they had crossed that boundary now. Nor were they lovers, not when Misa couldn't look him in the eye without guilt wracking her from the inside. Not when she still planned to leave him again when this was all over.

"It..." Misa swallowed a lump, clamped down on the pain clenching her heart. "It was a mistake."

There was a sharp intake of breath. Royle slid his hand to her chin and turned her head towards him. "Was it? Is that what it was? A mistake?"

Misa nodded, eyes darting away. "I wasn't in the right state of mind. I'm sorry, Royle. I shouldn't have...I didn't mean to..."

"Why?" Royle kept his hold on her chin gentle despite the strained tension in his voice. "Why would you say that? Do you not...feel anything for me? Is that why?"

"Royle, no." Misa leaned back, away from his touch, away from those intense eyes that burned with a quiet fury, ignited by hurt. She clenched her hands together. "I...I don't know what I feel for you. But, this isn't right. It isn't right."

"Is it so wrong?"

"I can't. I've never...All my life, I've wanted to see the world. It's my one wish, Royle. I can't throw it away for you."

Silence fell over them. Misa couldn't look at him, not while he processed what she said. She was afraid—too afraid of what she would see.

Her hands shook until he touched them. "I'm not asking you to spend the rest of your life with me. But I've come to...care for you. Probably more than I should." He paused to take a breath as if contemplating what he should say next. "I can't deny it. I want you. I'm sure last night is enough proof of that. You don't have to stay with me when this is all over. Will you at least think about it before you make your final decision?"

"I..." Misa loosened her grip, releasing the tremble of her strength. She just didn't know anymore. Even if she could leave him, she couldn't risk losing sight of her dreams. She looked down, unable to bear the hurt in his eyes. Her eyes trailed him, from the fingers clasped around her hand, to his wrist and up his arm, where a bruise blackened the skin.

"Your arm." She twisted her hand from his grip and grabbed his wrist. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I deserved it for scaring you like that."

"No, you didn't." Misa scowled at him, conflicting fury burning within her. "Why do you do this? Why are you just...taking it? Why don't you get mad at me, scream at me, accuse me of hurting you? It would be so much easier if you weren't so...so..."

"Mad?" Royle blew out a breath, shutting his eyes. "You don't think I'm mad? Misa, I'm furious."

"Then, why—"

"Because it's not your fault. I understand. Believe me, I understand." He calmed himself before continuing in a steady voice. "But I can't be the only one to feel whatever it is between us. I know there's something there, but you keep pushing me away. Every time I get closer to you, every time I feel like we have something, a connection, between us, you shut yourself out.

"I know you need space, Misa. I know you'll only get further away if I push you. So, no. I'm not going to vent my anger on you. I'm not going to make you feel miserable when you're with me just so it's easier for you to find a way out. It's your decision, Misa, not mine, and I'm not going to act on your behalf because I've already made up my mind."

"Royle." Misa finally looked at him, unable to say anything more. Her heart ached. Her head spun. Why was everything twisting and coiling into a tangled mess? How had Misa gotten so involved in things she vowed to stay away from?

"You're the only hope I have left, Misa." Royle caressed her cheek, slipping his hand behind her ear. "I don't want to lose you. So, I'm going to give you time to think this over; I'll be right next to you when you need me. I'm going to wait for you, Misa. For your answer. I'm not going to let you go without a fight. I hope you understand that."

Where had it all gone wrong? How had Misa let this run so deep?

"I...I kissed you." Misa swallowed. She watched her fingers curl, straighten, tense into a fist.

"Do you regret it?"

Misa squeezed her eyes shut, pushing out the memory of his touch, the tingles that heightened her senses. "I shouldn't have done it. I thought it was only a dream. A harmless dream, and when I woke up, it wouldn't have been real."

His thumb traced her bottom lip. Misa's eyelids flung open. She stiffened at the deep, chocolate eyes burning into her soul, mere centimeters away.

"You can't change what happened." Royle backed away, taking the electric pulse with him. "You can't wish it away."

"I know," she rasped. "And I'm sorry."

"Perhaps it's best if I leave." Royle stood from his seat and walked to the door. "I'll see if I can brief the two of you about everything I learned in Giligha without the need of a meet. I don't want to distress you any further with my presence."

"Wait." Misa stood, her knees trembling. "Royle."

Royle looked over with a small, sad smile resting on his lips. "Don't worry. I'll be in Harthem. Just..." His smile morphed into a grimace. "Just stay safe."

He pulled open the door and was gone before another word could be exchanged. For some reason, Misa didn't feel like painting the mountains anymore.