Standing in front of the building that was the purgehouse, Misa sighed. A cold shadow was draped over her, the midmorning sun hidden behind the walls. She was glad for the warm package she held in her hand, but her heart sank at the thought of going back inside, pretending to be a boy training to become a man. She could feel a buzz of electricity shake through her, the power Tika had stored in her still adjusting to a new body. It drained her energy to think about every secret she had to keep to herself.
Just for a little longer, she told herself. Just until we find Nisha and get rid of her and...yeah, that's never going to happen.
Steeling herself, Misa ascended the few wooden steps that led up to the door. It was already wide open for the comings and goings of officers. The purgehouse bustled with movement, uniformed officers at their desks with paperwork or marching around to go about their business.
They ignored Misa for the most part, only giving her furtive glances when she got in their way. Her heart still wavered with a terror that they'd see through her disguise, but as usual, nothing about her femininity was brought up.
As Royle had instructed, Misa walked towards his office, posing herself as a cadet returning from an errand. He had dropped her off close to the market, giving her the opportunity to grab something to eat. The best she could find was a small pie from a street vendor, and she took the liberty to buy one for the captain, if only to further the errand-boy narrative.
She rapped her knuckles against the thick, wooden door, and a muffled voice permitted her to enter. The moment she entered the small office, cut off from the rest of the purgehouse, Misa let herself relax.
She stood in front of Royle, a smile on her face at the mere sight of him. He was busy with documents, as usual, but not so unreadable. It was difficult to believe she couldn't stand to even look at him almost two months ago.
"I brought you something," Misa quipped, placing the pie wrapped in cloth on his desk. It was nice to be alone with the captain. There was something about his presence that calmed her heart and quelled her fears.
Royle plugged his pen back into its socket.
"You didn't have to." His eyes softened. "But thank you. I'll have it later. For now..."
His expression turned grim. Misa's stomach coiled. It was time to talk about the thundercloud looming over them.
"Take a seat. This may take a while."
With a gulp, Misa complied. She waited until Royle joined her on the other side of the low table to speak.
"So, what are we going to do?"
"I've sent the request to go to Harthem as soon as I entered my office," Royle said. "But processing it will take too much time. I...don't have a plan." He lowered his head, hiding his eyes in the shadow of his cap. He rubbed his face. Dejected. Tired. Misa could read him so easily.
"Nisha might have gone into hiding," he continued, his voice barely above a whisper. "I made a mistake trying to kill her the moment I saw her. We've lost the element of surprise. I...I don't know what to do anymore. Tika would have known. She always does."
Misa's heart ached to see Royle so despondent. His confidence had shattered, and the vulnerability he was showing her was too much for her to ignore. She knew he didn't want her pity, or even her sympathy, but there was nothing much else Misa could do when he was opening up to her with so much pain and helplessness. She hadn't realised how much Tika's death affected Royle. He always wore that cold, emotionless mask, and it was easy to forget that he could hurt as much as anyone else.
"Royle..." Misa chose her words carefully. "I'm sure you'll think of something. Just take your time, give yourself a break, and don't push yourself so hard. And, I know I'm not going to be much help, but I'm here for you."
She smiled, hoping he'd see that she meant everything she said. "You've been handling this alone for so long, I think you've forgotten what it's like to have support. You think you have to know everything, plan out every move, calculate everything in your head to make sure your plan will work, but you're not a god. You can't always expect yourself to be level-headed. It's just not possible."
"You don't understand," he said. His shoulders slumped, and he rested his elbows on his thighs. "There's no room for failure. We're running out of time. Nisha is planning something big. It won't take much longer for her to convince the other witches to follow her cause, and when she does, it'll be impossible to come close to even hurting her."
"Then why don't we just leave?" Misa suggested. "You could leave your position as the captain and go after Nisha. Why do you insist on following protocol when you're clearly okay with the idea of going against the royal council to get what you want?"
Royle's eyes bore into hers. Their intensity sent a sizzle of something down her spine, but it was not the time to be thinking about that. She returned his gaze, refusing to let the effect he had on her lead her away from such a delicate and important matter. She had to concentrate instead of drowning in thoughts that would never be more than a fantasy.
"I have my reasons," he replied. "I have to remain Captain. I won't allow that monster to take more than she already has." Not for the first time, Misa sensed a hidden meaning behind his words. It just didn't make sense. He was more than willing to give his life for a chance to kill Nisha. He had become the captain of a purgehouse to find her. He had said so himself that his intentions were never to be a leader, but a hunter. His position wasn't something he valued at all. What else could he stand to lose if he just left?
"But—"
"Let it go, Misa." His voice was soft, the tone that Misa was more willing to listen to than the authoritative one he would usually use.
"There's nothing much else we can do, then." Misa huffed. She could feel the cogs in her head turning, to the point that she could hear them clicking against one another. "I'm in the witch market, right?" She touched the bracelet that shackled her wrist. "If I can find any witch open for business in Giligha, maybe I could keep tabs on Nisha's whereabouts."
"That is the reason we went to Harthem in the first place," Royle agreed. He pondered her words. "But I haven't been aware of witches in Giligha aside from Tika."
"Well, as long as they're not practising strange rituals or using too much magic, they could easily stay hidden. I had magic for most of my life, and it took years before anyone found out."
"I suppose."
But Misa could hear the doubt all too well. She didn't understand. "You don't think so? But why?"
"I won't say it's impossible, Misa." Royle sighed, leaning back a little. "But I've been searching for a long time. As far as I'm concerned, Tika has been the only witch to ever live in and near Giligha. She said so herself that she's never encountered a witch here unless they were passing by."
Frustration bubbled. Misa slumped against the sofa. "Then there's nothing we can do. I suppose the best option now is wait for your request to be approved. Then, when we go to Harthem, I can ask around for Nisha's residence."
"That's right." Royle seemed more energised. "I almost forgot your role in all this. Perhaps the situation isn't as hopeless, after all."
There was a pause. A moment of silence that told Misa what Royle was thinking. Her face paled, and before she could find a way out, he was already talking.
"Your magic..." he trailed off, studying her. "It may be the only thing that can bring Nisha down."
"It was never my choice." Misa shook her head, her breaths shaky. "I don't want it. I can't use it. I promised."
"Not even to save Plathea?"
"Royle." Misa couldn't keep the exasperation out of her voice. "That's not fair."
He let that tenderness slip through his cold mask. "I know. I'm sorry. It's just that...when I think about how you could defeat Nisha with Tika's magic...It's selfish of me, I know."
Misa's heart clenched. Whether he was saying it to convince her to aid him in his quest or not, he still had a point. Misa had to consider that her magic was the only thing standing between Nisha and Plathea's destruction. Thousands of lives could be wiped out just because Misa didn't want to be a witch. What was one life compared to a whole country? It was the right choice to make, but things just weren't that simple.
Why did it have to be Misa? Why couldn't it have been someone who actually wanted powerful magic?
"I'll think about it," Misa whispered. The prospect terrified her. Her conscience was telling her to do the right thing, but there was a fear in facing Nisha and using a power that accumulated for over a century that made her want to run into a hole and never crawl out.
She looked away from him. Tense silence fell over them, broken only by the chirping birds and vague mumbles of the busy purgehouse. It reminded her of the bird she saw hatch that morning. How big was the world in its eyes? So small was it that she herself must have looked like an unearthly being. Yet when it was old enough, it would fly and see more than Misa ever could. She envied it, the wings so unburdened that it could take to the sky.
"If that's all, I think I should get going." Misa smiled to hide her fears away. "I'll be late for training. Make sure you eat that pie before it gets cold."
"Of course," Royle breathed. He still wore that torn expression, as if all was lost in the world.
Though she felt the sympathy rise, Misa forced herself to ignore it. She stood and saluted. "I'll be off then, Captain."
She started her way towards the door feeling like she should have said more. It didn't sit right with her, leaving Royle when he was struggling. But there was a barrier around him she couldn't breach, a barrier he strengthened every time she wanted to remind him that he was not alone. She was almost at the door now. Every step weighed heavier the closer she got. Her hand reached forward. Her fingers touched the knob.
"Misa..." Royle grabbed her wrist, turning her around. And before she could respond, he pulled her towards him. She let out a muffled cry of surprise as his arms wrapped around her. "I'm sorry." He buried his face against the crook of her neck.
"R-Royle. What—"
"Just one minute." He tightened his hold. "Let me need you for just one minute."
It took a few seconds, but Misa eventually returned the embrace. She wanted to give him the support he needed, the warmth he had lost when Nisha destroyed his village. How long had he been all alone in this world? The thought drove a pang of sorrow into her heart.
"I'm here," she whispered.
She relaxed into his warmth, his scent, his touch. Her own worries faded away, leaving her with the comfort she didn't know she needed. The thundercloud dissipated; sunlight broke through. When Royle finally let her go, she felt much better than before as if a weight had been lifted off her chest.
"I'm sorry," he said, averting his gaze.
Misa smiled. "What for? Everyone needs a hug every so often. I'll be here for you until this is over."
Royle let out a sigh and adjusted his cap. "Right. A hug." He stepped away from her, his barrier strengthening once again, and returned to his desk. Misa waited, wondering if she should leave.
Royle pulled back his chair but remained standing. The sunlight filtered through the window behind him, throwing his shadow over the documents on his desk. He appeared to be deep in thought, and just when Misa resumed her exit, he spoke.
"I'll think of another way, Misa." He dropped onto his seat. "If you truly don't want Tika's magic, I'll think of another way to get to Nisha."
Misa swallowed, unsure of where he was going with this. "Okay."
"But understand that I'm going to do whatever it takes to achieve my goal. If you're going to help, know that it's going to be dangerous. Keeping Tika's magic is the safest way you can make it through. That's the truth of the situation, and I want you to be aware of it before you make your decision."
A cold shiver made its way up Misa's spine. She kept her head down to hide the fear his words brought about.
"I won't lie, Misa. My plan is to kill Nisha, and I won't be able to protect you completely from witches. It may come down to you protecting yourself."
A bird trilled in the distance in sync with Misa's heart.
"If a time comes when you must choose between your life and the mission, I want you to choose yourself. There's no sense in sacrificing yourself for my goals. So if you ever have to lose your life to end Nisha's, you must choose to let her live."
A sudden spark of anger ignited the courage Misa needed to face him again. "What about you?"
"What about me?" Royle repeated blankly.
"She put a spell on you, Royle. You'll die if you kill her." She marched back to his desk, determination in her every stride. "Who will protect you?"
"Does it matter? It was never part of our bargain. You don't need to worry about me."
A drop of sadness mixed into her anger. Misa wondered why she had come to care for such a difficult man. It would be so easy if she didn't care, so easy to allow him to destroy himself.
"You don't get it," she said. The drop of sadness stirred and changed the colour of her temper. He was so frustrating, she wished she could strangle some sense into him. Why couldn't he see what he was doing to himself? To the people who cared about him? "You just don't get it."
"What are you trying to say, Misa? I thought I made everything abundantly clear."
"For heavens' sake, Royle!" Misa slammed her hands against his desk. A few pieces of paper flapped aside. "It's like you've never cared for anyone before. How can I not worry about you when your life is in danger? This has nothing to do with our stupid bargain. You want me to choose my life over Nisha. Fine. Then, I want you to do the same. Until we find a way to break your curse, you're not allowed to kill her."
Royle scowled. "You do realise I'm the captain here. You can't tell me what to do."
"I can and I did." Misa glared at him, leaning forward to emphasise her words. "You're my friend before you're my captain. I don't belong in the purgehouse anyway, so I don't even care about your rank. It's all I ask, Royle. I won't let you throw your life away."
Royle took a moment to process her words. His eyes bore into hers as if daring her to take it back, then they flickered down.
"Fück!" he hissed. He closed his eyes and pushed himself back from the table. "Misa. Get off the desk."
"What?" Misa was dumbfounded. What kind of a reaction was that?
Taking a deep breath, he looked at her, his eyes hooded, intense, and oddly...dangerous. Misa shuddered, her heart drumming against her ribcage.
"You're wrinkling very important documents, and if you're not careful, you'll smear ink all over the place." He gritted his teeth. "Get off the desk."
"Oh." She snatched her hands back and stepped away for good measure, suddenly feeling awkward.
"I think we're done here," Royle said. He lifted his cap to run his fingers through his hair. "I still have a lot to consider before we make our next move. I'll...think about what you said."
"Fine," Misa relented. Something had happened just now, something she couldn't quite explain. All she knew was that she had shivered under the intensity of his gaze, and she needed to get as far away from him as possible. "I'll see you later, then. Have a good day, Captain."
Still recovering from the flutter in her heart, she whirled around and hurried out of his office before he could say anything more.