The Narrative of Arthur Gordon Pym

Chapter 3

THE thought instantly occurred to me that the paper was a note

from Augustus, and that some unaccountable accident having happened

to prevent his relieving me from my dungeon, he had devised this

method of acquainting me with the true state of affairs. Trembling

with eagerness, I now commenced another search for my phosphorus

matches and tapers. I had a confused recollection of having put them

carefully away just before falling asleep; and, indeed, previously to

my last journey to the trap, I had been able to remember the exact

spot where I had deposited them. But now I endeavored in vain to call

it to mind, and busied myself for a full hour in a fruitless and

vexatious search for the missing articles; never, surely, was there a

more tantalizing state of anxiety and suspense. At length, while

groping about, with my head close to the ballast, near the opening of

the box, and outside of it, I perceived a faint glimmering of light

in the direction of the steerage. Greatly surprised, I endeavored to

make my way toward it, as it appeared to be but a few feet from my

position. Scarcely had I moved with this intention, when I lost sight

of the glimmer entirely, and, before I could bring it into view

again, was obliged to feel along by the box until I had exactly

resumed my original situation. Now, moving my head with caution to

and fro, I found that, by proceeding slowly, with great care, in an

opposite direction to that in which I had at first started, I was

enabled to draw near the light, still keeping it in view. Presently I

came directly upon it (having squeezed my way through innumerable

narrow windings), and found that it proceeded from some fragments of

my matches lying in an empty barrel turned upon its side. I was

wondering how they came in such a place, when my hand fell upon two

or three pieces of taper wax, which had been evidently mumbled by the

dog. I concluded at once that he had devoured the whole of my supply

of candles, and I felt hopeless of being ever able to read the note

of Augustus. The small remnants of the wax were so mashed up among

other rubbish in the barrel, that I despaired of deriving any service

from them, and left them as they were. The phosphorus, of which there

was only a speck or two, I gathered up as well as I could, and

returned with it, after much difficulty, to my box, where Tiger had

all the while remained.

What to do next I could not tell. The hold was so intensely dark

that I could not see my hand, however close I would hold it to my

face. The white slip of paper could barely be discerned, and not even

that when I looked at it directly; by turning the exterior portions

of the retina toward it- that is to say, by surveying it slightly

askance, I found that it became in some measure perceptible. Thus the

gloom of my prison may be imagined, and the note of my friend, if

indeed it were a note from him, seemed only likely to throw me into

further trouble, by disquieting to no purpose my already enfeebled

and agitated mind. In vain I revolved in my brain a multitude of

absurd expedients for procuring light- such expedients precisely as a

man in the perturbed sleep occasioned by opium would be apt to fall

upon for a similar purpose- each and all of which appear by turns to

the dreamer the most reasonable and the most preposterous of

conceptions, just as the reasoning or imaginative faculties flicker,

alternately, one above the other. At last an idea occurred to me

which seemed rational, and which gave me cause to wonder, very

justly, that I had not entertained it before. I placed the slip of

paper on the back of a book, and, collecting the fragments of the

phosphorus matches which I had brought from the barrel, laid them

together upon the paper. I then, with the palm of my hand, rubbed the

whole over quickly, yet steadily. A clear light diffused itself

immediately throughout the whole surface; and had there been any

writing upon it, I should not have experienced the least difficulty,

I am sure, in reading it. Not a syllable was there, however- nothing

but a dreary and unsatisfactory blank; the illumination died away in

a few seconds, and my heart died away within me as it went.

I have before stated more than once that my intellect, for some

period prior to this, had been in a condition nearly bordering on

idiocy. There were, to be sure, momentary intervals of perfect

sanity, and, now and then, even of energy; but these were few. It

must be remembered that I had been, for many days certainly, inhaling

the almost pestilential atmosphere of a close hold in a whaling

vessel, and for a long portion of that time but scantily supplied

with water. For the last fourteen or fifteen hours I had none- nor

had I slept during that time. Salt provisions of the most exciting

kind had been my chief, and, indeed, since the loss of the mutton, my

only supply of food, with the exception of the sea-biscuit; and these

latter were utterly useless to me, as they were too dry and hard to

be swallowed in the swollen and parched condition of my throat. I was

now in a high state of fever, and in every respect exceedingly ill.

This will account for the fact that many miserable hours of

despondency elapsed after my last adventure with the phosphorus,

before the thought suggested itself that I had examined only one side

of the paper. I shall not attempt to describe my feelings of rage

(for I believe I was more angry than any thing else) when the

egregious oversight I had committed flashed suddenly upon my

perception. The blunder itself would have been unimportant, had not

my own folly and impetuosity rendered it otherwise- in my

disappointment at not finding some words upon the slip, I had

childishly torn it in pieces and thrown it away, it was impossible to

say where.

From the worst part of this dilemma I was relieved by the

sagacity of Tiger. Having got, after a long search, a small piece of

the note, I put it to the dog's nose, and endeavored to make him

understand that he must bring me the rest of it. To my astonishment,

(for I had taught him none of the usual tricks for which his breed

are famous,) he seemed to enter at once into my meaning, and,

rummaging about for a few moments, soon found another considerable

portion. Bringing me this, he paused awhile, and, rubbing his nose

against my hand, appeared to be waiting for my approval of what he

had done. I patted him on the head, when he immediately made off

again. It was now some minutes before he came back- but when he did

come, he brought with him a large slip, which proved to be all the

paper missing- it having been torn, it seems, only into three pieces.

Luckily, I had no trouble in finding what few fragments of the

phosphorus were left- being guided by the indistinct glow one or two

of the particles still emitted. My difficulties had taught me the

necessity of caution, and I now took time to reflect upon what I was

about to do. It was very probable, I considered, that some words were

written upon that side of the paper which had not been examined- but

which side was that? Fitting the pieces together gave me no clew in

this respect, although it assured me that the words (if there were

any) would be found all on one side, and connected in a proper

manner, as written. There was the greater necessity of ascertaining

the point in question beyond a doubt, as the phosphorus remaining

would be altogether insufficient for a third attempt, should I fail

in the one I was now about to make. I placed the paper on a book as

before, and sat for some minutes thoughtfully revolving the matter

over in my mind. At last I thought it barely possible that the

written side might have some unevenness on its surface, which a

delicate sense of feeling might enable me to detect. I determined to

make the experiment and passed my finger very carefully over the side

which first presented itself. Nothing, however, was perceptible, and

I turned the paper, adjusting it on the book. I now again carried my

forefinger cautiously along, when I was aware of an exceedingly

slight, but still discernable glow, which followed as it proceeded.

This, I knew, must arise from some very minute remaining particles of

the phosphorus with which I had covered the paper in my previous

attempt. The other, or under side, then, was that on which lay the

writing, if writing there should finally prove to be. Again I turned

the note, and went to work as I had previously done. Having rubbed in

the phosphorus, a brilliancy ensued as before- but this time several

lines of MS. in a large hand, and apparently in red ink, became

distinctly visible. The glimmer, although sufficiently bright, was

but momentary. Still, had I not been too greatly excited, there would

have been ample time enough for me to peruse the whole three

sentences before me- for I saw there were three. In my anxiety,

however, to read all at once, I succeeded only in reading the seven

concluding words, which thus appeared- "blood- your life depends upon

lying close."

Had I been able to ascertain the entire contents of the note-the

full meaning of the admonition which my friend had thus attempted to

convey, that admonition, even although it should have revealed a

story of disaster the most unspeakable, could not, I am firmly

convinced, have imbued my mind with one tithe of the harrowing and

yet indefinable horror with which I was inspired by the fragmentary

warning thus received. And "blood," too, that word of all words- so

rife at all times with mystery, and suffering, and terror- how trebly

full of import did it now appear- how chilly and heavily (disjointed,

as it thus was, from any foregoing words to qualify or render it

distinct) did its vague syllables fall, amid the deep gloom of my

prison, into the innermost recesses of my soul!

Augustus had, undoubtedly, good reasons for wishing me to remain

concealed, and I formed a thousand surmises as to what they could be-

but I could think of nothing affording a satisfactory solution of the

mystery. Just after returning from my last journey to the trap, and

before my attention had been otherwise directed by the singular

conduct of Tiger, I had come to the resolution of making myself heard

at all events by those on board, or, if I could not succeed in this

directly, of trying to cut my way through the orlop deck. The half

certainty which I felt of being able to accomplish one of these two

purposes in the last emergency, had given me courage (which I should

not otherwise have had) to endure the evils of my situation. The few

words I had been able to read, however, had cut me off from these

final resources, and I now, for the first time, felt all the misery

of my fate. In a paroxysm of despair I threw myself again upon the

mattress, where, for about the period of a day and night, I lay in a

kind of stupor, relieved only by momentary intervals of reason and

recollection.

At length I once more arose, and busied myself in reflection

upon the horrors which encompassed me. For another twenty-four hours

it was barely possible that I might exist without water- for a longer

time I could not do so. During the first portion of my imprisonment I

had made free use of the cordials with which Augustus had supplied

me, but they only served to excite fever, without in the least degree

assuaging thirst. I had now only about a gill left, and this was of a

species of strong peach liqueur at which my stomach revolted. The

sausages were entirely consumed; of the ham nothing remained but a

small piece of the skin; and all the biscuit, except a few fragments

of one, had been eaten by Tiger. To add to my troubles, I found that

my headache was increasing momentarily, and with it the species of

delirium which had distressed me more or less since my first falling

asleep. For some hours past it had been with the greatest difficulty

I could breathe at all, and now each attempt at so doing was attended

with the most depressing spasmodic action of the chest. But there was

still another and very different source of disquietude, and one,

indeed, whose harassing terrors had been the chief means of arousing

me to exertion from my stupor on the mattress. It arose from the

demeanor of the dog.

I first observed an alteration in his conduct while rubbing in

the phosphorus on the paper in my last attempt. As I rubbed, he ran

his nose against my hand with a slight snarl; but I was too greatly

excited at the time to pay much attention to the circumstance. Soon

afterward, it will be remembered, I threw myself on the mattress, and

fell into a species of lethargy. Presently I became aware of a

singular hissing sound close at my ears, and discovered it to proceed

from Tiger, who was panting and wheezing in a state of the greatest

apparent excitement, his eyeballs flashing fiercely through the

gloom. I spoke to him, when he replied with a low growl, and then

remained quiet. Presently I relapsed into my stupor, from which I was

again awakened in a similar manner. This was repeated three or four

times, until finally his behaviour inspired me with so great a degree

of fear, that I became fully aroused. He was now lying close by the

door of the box, snarling fearfully, although in a kind of undertone,

and grinding his teeth as if strongly convulsed. I had no doubt

whatever that the want of water or the confined atmosphere of the

hold had driven him mad, and I was at a loss what course to pursue. I

could not endure the thought of killing him, yet it seemed absolutely

necessary for my own safety. I could distinctly perceive his eyes

fastened upon me with an expression of the most deadly animosity, and

I expected every instant that he would attack me. At last I could

endure my terrible situation no longer, and determined to make my way

from the box at all hazards, and dispatch him, if his opposition

should render it necessary for me to do so. To get out, I had to pass

directly over his body, and he already seemed to anticipate my

design--missing himself upon his fore-legs (as I perceived by the

altered position of his eyes), and displayed the whole of his white

fangs, which were easily discernible. I took the remains of the

ham-skin, and the bottle containing the liqueur, and secured them

about my person, together with a large carving-knife which Augustus

had left me- then, folding my cloak around me as closely as possible,

I made a movement toward the mouth of the box. No sooner did I do

this, than the dog sprang with a loud growl toward my throat. The

whole weight of his body struck me on the right shoulder, and I fell

violently to the left, while the enraged animal passed entirely over

me. I had fallen upon my knees, with my head buried among the

blankets, and these protected me from a second furious assault,

during which I felt the sharp teeth pressing vigorously upon the

woollen which enveloped my neck- yet, luckily, without being able to

penetrate all the folds. I was now beneath the dog, and a few moments

would place me completely in his power. Despair gave me strength, and

I rose boldly up, shaking him from me by main force, and dragging

with me the blankets from the mattress. These I now threw over him,

and before he could extricate himself, I had got through the door and

closed it effectually against his pursuit. In this struggle, however,

I had been forced to drop the morsel of ham-skin, and I now found my

whole stock of provisions reduced to a single gill of liqueur. As

this reflection crossed my mind, I felt myself actuated by one of

those fits of perverseness which might be supposed to influence a

spoiled child in similar circumstances, and, raising the bottle to my

lips, I drained it to the last drop, and dashed it furiously upon the

floor.

Scarcely had the echo of the crash died away, when I heard my

name pronounced in an eager but subdued voice, issuing from the

direction of the steerage. So unexpected was anything of the kind,

and so intense was the emotion excited within me by the sound, that I

endeavoured in vain to reply. My powers of speech totally failed, and

in an agony of terror lest my friend should conclude me dead, and

return without attempting to reach me, I stood up between the crates

near the door of the box, trembling convulsively, and gasping and

struggling for utterance. Had a thousand words depended upon a

syllable, I could not have spoken it. There was a slight movement now

audible among the lumber somewhere forward of my station. The sound

presently grew less distinct, then again less so, and still less.

Shall I ever forget my feelings at this moment? He was going- my

friend, my companion, from whom I had a right to expect so much- he

was going- he would abandon me- he was gone! He would leave me to

perish miserably, to expire in the most horrible and loathesome of

dungeons- and one word, one little syllable, would save me- yet that

single syllable I could not utter! I felt, I am sure, more than ten

thousand times the agonies of death itself. My brain reeled, and I

fell, deadly sick, against the end of the box.

As I fell the carving-knife was shaken out from the waist-band

of my pantaloons, and dropped with a rattling sound to the floor.

Never did any strain of the richest melody come so sweetly to my

ears! With the intensest anxiety I listened to ascertain the effect

of the noise upon Augustus- for I knew that the person who called my

name could be no one but himself. All was silent for some moments. At

length I again heard the word "Arthur!" repeated in a low tone, and

one full of hesitation. Reviving hope loosened at once my powers of

speech, and I now screamed at the top of my voice, "Augustus! oh,

Augustus!" "Hush! for God's sake be silent!" he replied, in a voice

trembling with agitation; "I will be with you immediately- as soon as

I can make my way through the hold." For a long time I heard him

moving among the lumber, and every moment seemed to me an age. At

length I felt his hand upon my shoulder, and he placed, at the same

moment, a bottle of water to my lips. Those only who have been

suddenly redeemed from the jaws of the tomb, or who have known the

insufferable torments of thirst under circumstances as aggravated as

those which encompassed me in my dreary prison, can form any idea of

the unutterable transports which that one long draught of the richest

of all physical luxuries afforded.

When I had in some degree satisfied my thirst, Augustus produced

from his pocket three or four boiled potatoes, which I devoured with

the greatest avidity. He had brought with him a light in a dark

lantern, and the grateful rays afforded me scarcely less comfort than

the food and drink. But I was impatient to learn the cause of his

protracted absence, and he proceeded to recount what had happened on

board during my incarceration.