UNFORGIVEN (Mistake Sequel) ENGLISH

ALESSANDRA I have noticed a change in Philippe since he attended an out-of-town meeting with an investor. I didn’t inquire whether the investor was a woman or a man. My spouse and children surprised me with a delightful breakfast when my birthday ended. Although it was a modest gesture, it brought me immense joy. Is it true that excessive enjoyment can substitute for sadness? I am becoming increasingly concerned because I can sense Philippe’s coldness toward me. I want to ignore the fact that Philippe was with another woman. Who could feel his actions? He distinctly different attitude toward me—a serious shift. He was usually kind to me, but now he avoids us. He goes to bed first and doesn’t even do the things he used to, like kissing my cheek and saying goodnight as we settle in for the night. I gazed into the mirror before me and had to admit that my body had changed significantly since the birth of my eight children. I have been gaining weight and do not have the time to focus on a diet. Instead, I prioritize caring for my children, who need me more than I need to focus on myself. I find joy in nurturing my family. I took deep breaths and ran my fingers through my slightly tangled hair. I often tie it back because I don’t have time to style it. When Philippe walked in, I glanced at the door. “Hon!” I called out to him, but he merely glanced in my direction, which took me by surprise. My face reflected my astonishment as I watched my husband enter the bathroom. I approached the bathroom door and knocked. “I prepared your food,” no response. Choosing not to linger, I decided to leave the room. Perhaps he couldn’t hear me due to the sound of water flowing from the shower. When I stepped outside, I saw my eldest twin, Leandro. His serious expression caught me off guard. “Is there a problem, son?” I asked. He shook his head, approached me, and kissed my cheek. I smiled at my son. “I’ll give you something to eat,” I said. Just as I was about to leave, he stopped me and asked a question. “Why, Mom? Why?” he asked, furrowing his brow. “What do you mean, why?” I asked my son. What exactly does my son mean? I have suddenly realized that he has an issue with his father, which is new to me. I know my son was very close to his father before, but now he seems so distant towards him. Does he notice Philippe’s drastic change towards me? “Why are you still with Daddy? He only hurts you, and he isn’t worth being with. Did you think we didn’t know what was happening between you and Daddy? We are only remaining silent to respect your privacy,” my son explained. I was astounded by his words and remained silent. I swallowed hard, unsure of what to say to my son. I hadn’t anticipated that he would take things so seriously. When Philippe ignores me, I struggle to hold back tears; I don’t want my children to feel burdened by my husband and me. I hope that Philippe and I can address the issue of ensuring our children do not feel guilty about our situation. “What are you talking about, son? I love your dad. There are no problems between us. Daddy’s busy, so he didn’t have time for us,” I explained. Why does he think that way? My son is simply gazing at me as if he can read my thoughts. I look away. I heard the door open, and we both turned our heads. Philippe emerged from our room, dressed in his nightclothes. I noticed that my son’s gaze towards his father was intense. They were locked in a stare as if neither wanted to look away. I cleared my throat to capture their attention; it appeared they were on the verge of starting a fight. “Son, would you like to join us for dinner?” I asked him. “I don’t want to eat,” he declared angrily, his gaze fixed on his father. Then, he turned his back on us and retreated to his room. I was taken aback when he slammed the door shut. I took a deep breath and glanced at Philippe as he began to speak. “I will work in the library. Please bring my food there,” he instructed. I noticed that he didn’t even call me, which was his term of endearment for me. I don’t want to imagine that Philippe has another woman, but I can’t help but worry. Who could compare to Philippe? Even at 47, he has an impressive physique and remains incredibly handsome. I was prepared to head to the library to pick up Philippe’s dinner when I overheard him speaking on the phone. The voice was female, and Philippe laughed. “Hon, this is your food,” I said. “Just put it on the table,” he ordered without looking at me. I set the tray of food down on the table, placing each item carefully. Glancing at Philippe’s phone, which was turned toward me, I noticed that the woman he was speaking to appeared to be young. She had long brown hair and fair skin. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself. The girl was young, while I was getting older. My body is no longer as beautiful as it once was, and I can't help but feel jealous of her. The girl exuded a certain allure. I couldn’t shake the feeling of self-pity. I don’t want to feel this way, but I find it difficult to change my mindset. I believe Philippe’s promise that he will always love me for who I am, even if I gain weight. I thought my care and affection were sufficient for him, but I realize now that I was mistaken. I turned away to hide the tears in my eyes. I do not want to feel jealous of other women. I have never experienced these emotions during my 14 years of marriage to him. I will hold on for as long as I can for the sake of my children; they are my strength. Even though I am hurt by how he treats me, I will continue to love him. I woke up in the middle of the night and realized that Philippe was not next to me. I glanced at the clock on the wall to check the time; it was two o'clock in the morning. He hasn’t slept yet? I got up to check on him. I put on my robe to cover myself. I went to the library, but he wasn’t there. I noticed a plate on the table with leftovers, so I took it back to the kitchen. I decided to go outside to see if Philippe’s car was there. My heart beat faster when I saw it wasn’t in the garage. Where else could he be at this hour? I couldn’t shake the worry that he might be with another woman. I try to avoid negative thoughts as much as possible. I don’t want to think badly of Philippe. Yes, he has changed and moved away, but I believe he will never find another woman and forget me. Tears well up in my eyes. My hand trembles as I close the door.