Don't Wanna Lose Your Love

Chapter 1-2

I landed in Rochester, New York, at almost seven o’clock that night. Since I didn’t check a bag, I ducked into the bathroom before heading for the car rental counter. My eyes were more red than brown at the moment, bloodshot from my sleep deprivation, and my dark hair was a mess. I tried to tame it with a little water and my fingers, wishing I had a comb in my carry-on. My hair didn’t look any better than when I started, and I noticed more gray than usual peeking through at the front. Giving it up as a lost cause, I washed my hands and left the bathroom.

I was tired and worried, and there had been no more news from Zack the entire day. The line was long at the rental counter, but since I’d reserved the car prior to arriving, when I finally got to the front, the process went quickly.

I found my sedan, tossed my bag in the backseat, and plugged my destination into the maps app on my phone. When I saw it was a less than a ten-minute drive from the airport to the hospital, I nearly cried in relief. It took me fifteen minutes to navigate out of the parking garage and get on the road, and nearly as long to find parking once I got to the hospital, but finally I was striding off the elevator on the ICU floor. Heart pounding in my chest, running on worry and fear, I spotted the nurse’s station and headed in that direction.

But as I passed the family waiting room, I saw a man slumped in a chair, his head back and his eyes closed. Even if I had never seen Zack that one time, there would be no doubt this was Josie’s brother. He had the same light brown hair, the same long nose and dimpled chin. I could see the stress and worry etched on his features. I stopped in the doorway and took a second to smooth my wrinkled shirt. I cleared my throat, trying not to startle him, but his eyes flew open and he jerked upright.

“Zack?”

“You look older than I remember,” he blurted, then a blush stained his cheeks. I gave him a little smile. He was under a lot of worry and stress, and I couldn’t fault him for his statement.

“I’m only forty-six,” I responded softly, trying to inject some humor. “How are you doing? How is Josie?”

“She’s still not awake, but her vitals are really good and she’s breathing on her own and everything. They’ve taken her down for another MRI. The doctor is hopeful.”

I noticed he didn’t answer my question about his well-being, but I let it slide and walked further into the room. When I motioned to the chair beside him, he nodded and I sat. I really just wanted to give him a big hug and take some of his burden. But we didn’t really know each other, and I thought that would be too forward.

“Can I do anything for you? Get you a cup of coffee or some food?”

Zack shook his head. “No. I’m not hungry. Thank you.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, then turned his head to look at me. His eyes were a deep blue, and they were currently rimmed in red. He was beyond exhausted, which was understandable. “I can’t believe you got on a plane and came here for someone you’ve never met.”

I just shrugged. “She’s my friend. One of the best I’ve got. And it doesn’t matter that we’ve never met in person or that we live two thousand miles apart. She’s the sister of my heart.”

Zack opened his mouth but then seemed to think better of it. He just nodded instead and then leaned back in his chair. He rubbed his hands on his thighs repeatedly, like he didn’t know what to do with them, and then finally heaved a heavy sigh.

His voice was barely more than a whisper when he asked, “Why won’t she wake up?”

“She will,” I said with conviction. “Come on, you know Josie. You think this is going to keep her down? No way in hell will she let a little thing like a head injury stop her. There’s too much yarn in the world that she hasn’t knitted yet.”

Zack actually laughed at that. I felt good I’d gotten a positive response.

“That’s true. f**k but that woman loves yarn.”

“Right.” I reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “This is scary as all hell, but Josie is going to pull through.”

“She better,” Zack murmured.

“Mr. Anderson?”

We both turned to find a white-coated doctor with a kind smile standing in the doorway. Zack jumped to his feet, but the doctor waved him back down and came to sit on the other side of Zack.

“Your sister’s scan looks really good. The swelling on her frontal lobe has decreased remarkably. The EEG looks practically normal.” The doctor paused and then gave a big smile. “I fully anticipate that Josie will wake up anytime now. Everything looks really good.”

The relief that flooded off Zack was palpable. I felt the same way. That was fantastic news. I gripped Zack’s arm tightly, and he reached over to pat my hand.

“But she hasn’t woken up yet? It’s been a long time.” Zack tensed under my hand as he said it. I leaned closer so he could feel my physical support.

“No, not yet,” the doctor said. I noticed the stitching above his breast pocket read Bradford. “And that is slightly worrisome. But now it’s more like she’s sleeping, instead of unconscious. That’s really good. Bodies heal better when they are resting.”

Zack nodded, taking that in. “Can we see her?”

“Yes,” Dr. Bradford said. “For a few minutes each. And then, Mr. Anderson, I really think you should go home and get some real sleep.”

Zack was shaking his head before the doctor even finished his sentence. “No. I’m not going anywhere until—”

“I’ll see that he does,” I interrupted.

Dr. Bradford gave a knowing smile. “Good. They are settling Josie back in her room. I’ll have the nurse come get you in a few minutes when you can see her.”

With that statement, the doctor left. Zack waited until the white coat had disappeared before he turned a scowl on me. He pulled his arm out of my hold and stood, his movement jerky.

“I’m not going anywhere.” His voice was firm, and I could see just a hint of anger in his pretty blue eyes. “That’s my sister. I’ll stay here as long as I damn well want.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I know. I’m just trying to save you from an ass kicking.”

His anger sputtered out, and he narrowed his eyes at me. “What?”

I smiled. I couldn’t help it. He was a very good-looking man, and I liked seeing the passion on his face, even if it was anger directed at me. “You’re trying to tell me that Josie isn’t going to chew you up and spit you out when she finds out you aren’t taking care of yourself? Yeah, right. She’s going to be hell on wheels. I was just trying to save you from that.”

It wasn’t a complete lie. Josie was one hell of a spitfire, and she loved her brother more than anything in the world. I knew she’d have some choice words for Zack when she found out he hadn’t been sleeping or eating. She wouldn’t tolerate that. Besides, he needed to crash and sleep hard. He was running on empty. Even I could see that, and I barely knew him.

He was still staring at me when the nurse poked her head in and told us we could come back and visit with Josie. Zack’s entire demeanor changed in the blink of an eye. The tension left his shoulders, and he gave a bland smile to the nurse while thanking her. I stood to follow them and realized Zack was just about as tall as I was. Maybe only an inch or so shorter than my own six feet. He’d seemed smaller when the worry and fear had him huddling in the chair.

When we reached the small room at the end of the hall, Zack paused. He looked at me, then swung his glance through the glass to look at his sister. He let out a breath and then motioned with one hand.

“You can go in first,” he said softly.

I nodded, touched and not trusting my voice. As quietly as I could, I entered the room and then sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair beside the bed. Josie looked pale and drawn, but other than the bandage on her forehead, she could have been sleeping. I took her fine-boned hand in my own, careful not to dislodge the IV. I stroked the backs of her fingers, remembering our last Skype chat when they’d flailed around when she got heated. I had no idea now what we’d been arguing about. I had probably been teasing her about her yarn obsession.

“Josie, love,” I said softly, leaning closer. “If you wanted me to come for a visit, all you had to do was ask. All this was completely unnecessary. And you’re scaring your brother.” I leaned in even closer, so my lips were practically right at her ear. “I’d nearly forgotten that he was so hot.”

In my head, I imagined the way she would have laughed and winked at me if we were having this conversation when she was awake. She was worried her brother hadn’t found someone to spend his life with. She didn’t have the same yearning—she was perfectly happy to live her solitary life—but she’d confided in me her brother was made to love and be loved.

I sighed and kissed her cheek. “Wake up soon, honey. This is killing me. I promise I’ll buy you yarn at your favorite shop before I go home. The expensive stuff. Now if that’s not incentive enough for you to get the hell up out of this bed, I don’t know what is.”

I looked down at her serene face, and half expected her eyes to pop open and for her to demand yarn presents right that second. But she didn’t. Josie slept on. I reminded myself what the doctor had said, then kissed her cheek again before leaving so Zack could have his turn. I leaned up against the wall while I waited.

Fifteen minutes later, he emerged. I pretended I didn’t see the tears leaking down his cheeks. He wiped furiously at his face and then rubbed the heels of his hands into his eyes. I waited until he’d once again composed himself.

“Are you going to go home?”

He shot me a glare, but there was no real heat behind it. “Yeah. For a couple of hours. Get a little sleep and a shower before I come back here.” He shook his head. “f**k, I’ve got to call a cab. I rode in the ambulance.”

“I can take you home,” I offered. “I rented a car. And then you can point me toward a nearby hotel. All right?”

He looked at me curiously for a long moment before he nodded and started trudging in the direction of the elevator. It wasn’t until we had gotten to the car and were seated that he spoke.

“You can stay with me.”

I blinked, nonplussed. I’d never expected that kind of invitation. “I don’t want to impose. A hotel is fine.”

He turned to give me the full weight of his gaze. “Do you want a Josie-sized ass kicking when she wakes up?”

I had to laugh. I turned on the car and started backing out of the parking space. “Point taken. Okay. Thank you.”

He told me where to go, and when we were stopped at a red light, I heard his stomach gurgle. He didn’t say anything, so I felt I should.

“Hungry?”

Zack started to shake his head, then stopped. “Maybe?”

“Fast food or real food?” When the light changed and Zack still hadn’t answered, I prodded him a little. “It doesn’t matter to me, but I could definitely eat.”

“Fast is fine. There’s a McDonald’s up ahead.”

I nodded. We went through the drive-thru, and twenty minutes later we were crawling down his street. Zack pointed out the duplex and told me to park on the left. He grabbed the food bags, and I scooped my carry-on out of the backseat. I followed him up the steps to his house and pointedly did not look at the dark windows next door.

“Thanks for coming, Ben,” Zack said so softly I nearly missed it over the creaking of the door as it swung open.

A pleased feeling warmed the pit of my stomach. “You’re welcome.”