Want Me

5

“Good Morning, Anvi,” Mr. Michael said looking me. I came down for the morning tea but I never expected him at this early time. He must be here after his morning workout since he is sweaty and his hand-carried a water bottle.

“Good morning,” I replied having a smile.

It’s just six in the morning, being an early person I couldn’t sleep more than this but others must be sleeping I guess. “Do you want tea, I am going to make one for me,” I asked when he was about to leave.

“Sure,” he told and sat on the couch with his iPad. I prepared my favorite Almond milk tea for both of us. I gave the cup to him and sat on the couch.

“Maid will be here at seven. Sara is tired so she is still sleeping,” he reasoned.

“That’s totally fine, Uncle,” I shrugged. “In my house, I’ll cook most of the time if my mom was tired.”

“That’s so great,” he smiled charmingly.

“It tastes good,” he said after taking a sip.

“Thank you,” I blushed.

Adrian came down eyeing us. He glowed in the sunshine, the T-shirt that he is wearing perfectly showing his broad shoulders and muscles.

"Good morning," he smiled beautifully.

"Good morning," I muttered looking him without blinking.

"Is this for me?" Before I could respond he took the cup from my hand and had a sip.

My eyes widened in terror, what the hell he did now! I've already taken a sip from that. Disgusting. Why he is acting like we are in a relationship.

"You made it?" He asked and I nodded my head lightly in yes.

I looked at his dad who gave a reaction as he sees nothing odd. I went back to the kitchen to prepare another cup.

When I came out, Adrian viciously smiled at me; Ah this is the start of my destruction I think.

"Tea tastes good, thanks," he said before I proceed.

I gave a nod and strolled to my room. My phone was already ringing there. Keeping the cup aside I attend the call from my mom.

She asked about how I am? And told that grandpa is recovering. I thanked God for hearing that. She told me not to miss my ballet classes and I agreed.

After talking, I had the tea sitting near the window. The birds were chirping and the skies are clear this morning. But I think it will rain later.

When I was peacefully looking out, Tania came in. "Good morning, Tania. Are you okay now?" I asked since she sounded so tired yesterday.

"Yeah, I am fine Anvi," she told sat beside me.

"What?" I shrugged when he kept looking at me.

"I wish I have a sister like you than those two stupids," she sadly uttered.

I giggled hearing that, "why did you say like that? You have to be proud of having two big brothers."

"Nah, they don't even care about me."

"I think Andrew is a great brother," I told.

"No, maybe Adrian cares sometimes but Andrew was so occupied by his own life." She said sadly.

"What's your problem, tell me?" I asked.

"That is... Did you have any crush when you're in my age?" She made me smile.

"No, do you?" Before I could finish.

"No it's not a crush actually, I like on someone."

"That's so sweet. Who's that guy?"

"My classmate and I don't know what I have to do?" She bites her lips and gave a confused face.

"What's his name?"

"Darian,"

"Umm, nice name." For the first time, Tania blushed.

"Do you want to continue these feelings?"

"No," she nodded.

"Then try to forget him like me," I closed my mouth in shock. My stupid tongue just blabbered out the secret that I kept for all these days.

"No, I mean everyone has a crush right, so I am just asking you to forget him," I told.

"Hey, that means you like someone right?"

"No, absolutely not," I turned my gaze to the other side.

"Don't lie," she held my hand.

"I think you as my sister so I told this to you even not to my mom," she sentimentally corners me.

"Please tell me. I wouldn't tell anyone about this," she tempted me.

I've never said to anyone; I don't have that type of best friend to share with. Tania isn't the right person she is too young for me but actually, she talks more mature than me.

"Okay, I don’t compel you," she got down to leave.

"Hey wait," "Promise on me that you will never ever say this to anyone," I warned.

"I won't. You can trust me," she smiled and again sat beside me.

Leaving out a sigh, "yeah, I have a crush on someone. Not so long-term, just 10 months," I told.

"Who's that lucky person?" She gave a cute little smile.

I felt nervous to utter his name but said it not going to hurt me, "Ivan," I uttered.

"Ivan!" "He is a great guy, you have a good taste, Anvi. I thought you liked Adrian," she said.

"Why Adrian?"

"Because you two look so good together and I think Adrian likes you," her statement made my eyebrows raise.

"Really?"

"Yeah, sometimes. I am not sure about his feelings but he has something for you,"

I got jumbled by that point.

"Leave my assumption it isn't a matter. Tell me about your crush," she asked folding her legs.

"What is there to tell? I just figured out I like him. That's it."

"Okay, I am asking you, do you want to continue this feeling?" She asked the same question.

"No, I am halfway in forgetting it. That's why I didn't say to anyone."

"Why? He is a great guy in my family. I think he is a perfect match for you," she told.

"I don't think my crush will remain the same. Maybe I will find someone who is more handsome and charismatic than Ivan. Who knows that person could be the one for me," I said dreaming about a figure holding my hand and walking through the endless journey of love.

When I was about to look at the man's face, the door opened and Adrian came in out of nowhere. Looking at his phone, he told, "Mom called you both for the breakfast," he said not even looking at our faces.

"Okay, we will come," I said. After he left I stood up to go.

"Anvi, just reconsider your decision, I think you he will like you," she said.

"I will think about it," I assured and we both went to have breakfast.

The rest of the day passed with my homework and Tania. Andrew came home afternoon, his mom was so upset by that, but he has his ways to cool down his mom.

When it is time for my ballet class, I walked to Adrian's room. I knocked on the door a few times and then opened the door.

"What? Do you want anything?" He asked like he doesn't know anything.

"My ballet class," I reminded him.

He smiled, "I know, just kidding. Give me five minutes,"

I waited near his car looking at the sky which is turning dark.

After some six minutes, Adrian came wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of grey slacks.

"My class will end after one hour, I will call you,"

"No need, I am not going back home," he said.

"Then?"

"I have some other, after finishing that I will come to pick you," he told.

"Oh," I nodded.

After an awkward silence, "you are learning ballet for a long time right?"

"Yeah, six years,"

"Now I am going to participating in a competition at the end of next month so I am practicing for it," I added.

"Cool!"

He dropped me in front of my class and left.

"No Anvi, you are doing it wrong. Feel the earth and your moves. You can able to make it better," Mrs. Kim told when I kept doing the same mistake for the eighth time.

"Okay, let's begin it from the start," I shook my head and stood at the center. When the music started playing I closed my eyes and started dancing. When I opened my eyes Adrian was sitting before me.

My face perfectly showed the surprise, but I continued to show I am good at this. I dance putting my best and I did the move perfectly this time.

"Excellent Anvi, now you got it," Mrs. Kim exclaimed and Adrian clapped.

I chuckled, Mrs. Kim looked at Adrian and asked, "Is that your boyfriend?"

"No, he is my friend," I corrected.

"Okay, let's end this for today. We will continue it tomorrow," she said and her next batch of students was waiting.

I asked Adrian to wait and head to change into my normal clothes.

"You dance so well, Anvi. You are great," his compliments made my cheeks blush.

"Thanks, that so good to hear from you,"

Adrian stopped the car before a lake, "so you wanted to come here," I told grinning.

I walked near the fence and gazed at the dark sky and water. The occasional lighting indicated that it is going to rain.

I turned to Adrian who smiled at me, "I wanted to come here for a long time with you," he told.

"Why can't you just ask me?"

"If I still think you just as my friend I would've asked you but..."

"I like you more than as a friend," he confessed.

I gulped hearing it, my doubt has cleared now. He likes me, his gaze and his smile were trying to convey that.

"You're my best friend Adrian. I can never think you like that, sorry," I felt bad for rejecting him.

"But I can never think you like that anymore. Things have been changed, Anvi. I like you." He said like splashing a glass of water across my face. He is sounded insanely confident!

*

*

*

When I felt so weird by the silence surrounding me, I tossed off the pile books aside and laid on the bed leaving out a boredom sigh. This Sunday afternoon having nothing to do is the worst thing ever. I don’t want to keep dwelling in the same thoughts but I can’t help reminiscing about yesterday’s confessions.

This is so stressful and to face him every time I remind those words that he said. What I have in me to attract someone like him?

I think he misunderstood my affection and love. I scurried to my door and took a moment before opening it. I should clear this misinterpretation or else I can’t survive in this house for a week and the rest. Coming out of my room I walked tugging my hair strands that fell on my face. I was wearing denim shorts and a sweater that covered me securely.

I stopped before his room and kept my ear on the door. There is not even a bit of sound, is he even a human? I thought. But then I heard a television sound downstairs. Taking silent steps I moved downstairs.

There he is, sitting on the couch like a king and leisurely enjoying the time watching TV. His legs are folded across. When I kept looking at him, I noticed that he isn’t really watching the TV and was thinking about something as his gaze wasn’t on the monitor.

There is no one in the house except us, his mom and dad went out for lunch, Tania went to her friend's birthday party and Andrew went on a date with his beloved girlfriend.

When his radar sensed my presence, he looked at me and I stared back at him widely. Blinking my eyes two three and four times I shifted gaze to somewhere. Why did I come down, I should need a reason; yeah got it, H2O.

“I need… water,” I stuttered and went to the kitchen crossing his intense gaze.

This is stupid, why you are acting this way, Anvi. You are in his house and you have to be nice to him so go and talk, I decided and came out.

I took a seat beside his couch and waited for him to start a conversation but he didn't so I made the first move.

"Hey, did you finished your assignments?"

He nodded keeping his face stern. I understood that he again went back to his usual self now. No smile, no happiness. I felt so bad for seeing him like that.

"Do you know when Tania will be back?" I asked.

"No,"

"Okay," he is hurt by my reply. Why he is doing this to me?

"You are busy I guess, I am going back to my room," I told without showing my disappointment and he didn't say anything and kept staring at the bloody television.

I felt guilty and humiliated here. Why can't he just talk to me and sort out the things?

But if I was in his situation I would act the same way as he doing now.

When I was stepped in the staircase, "Anvi wait," Adrian paused me. "Do you want to talk to me?"

"Yeah," I nodded.

"Come here," he patted on the seat next to him. I went hoping I can change everything back to normal.

"Tell me what you want to say?"

"Sorry for the other day if you are hurt. I didn't mean to do it," I apologized.

"Okay fine, then?"

"You are still angry?"

"Then tell me, Anvi. How I have to react?" His pissed off statement surprised me.

"In my life, I never got No as a reply in anything but you just rejected me without hearing what I tried to say in that time. Then how can I not get angry with you?”

"Sorry, I was just confused and afraid,"

"Afraid of what? Me?" he questioned seeing my silence.

"Look at me Anvi, don't make me look pathetic. I am not that kind of a person who likes you secretly and acts as a friend outside, I am sick of trying it in the past months."

"Be my girlfriend and my best friend or just remain as a guest and don't expect me to act normal like how we used to be, because I am not that good of a guy." He told simply.

We had so many good memories and a pure friendship but he just forgot that in a moment and acting like a jerk. So this how he respects our fifteen years’ friendship.

"This is what your decision? Okay fine, I will remain as a guest and stay out of your business," I glared at him as my eyes welled with tears.

"Great, that ends everything," he gritted.

I strolled out of the place and head to my room. I let those tears which I held back there.

No, Anvi. You shouldn't cry. He missed a wonderful friend like you, he has to feel sorry for what he did, now or then he will surely regret it. I thought and stumbled on the bed.

***

The next day, after getting ready for school, I went to Andrew's car. Adrian left early since he had a basketball session in the morning. Even though I tried to avoid him the best level I came to meet him face to face this morning. I thought of telling good morning but he walked away.

He is treating me less than a guest, there I have decided one thing that I shouldn't talk to him unless he does.

The reason why I can't accept Ivan as my crush and why I couldn't tell yes to Adrian was because of my mom and her wish. She wanted me to marry an Indian guy just like how she did. I don't know why but she isn't a racist. She believes in love and equality but she is strict in this one thing.

When I turned fifteen, she took me out for a walk. She discussed the relationships, love, and dating then she came to the real thing of asking me to marry someone of my culture as it will be easier compared to marrying an English man. She didn't restrict me to date one but marriage should be with an Indian man.

But I feel absurd about the whole thing of dating multiple men and then breaking up for silly reasons to marry someone else.

I strongly believe in one love in a lifetime. I love Cinderella's story, maybe it's out of trend in this modern world but I have faith in that and I will find my one true love and I will share everything only with him and that man has to be smart, intelligent, protective and kind. I don't want him to be perfect, I don't want him to look handsome all the time but he should love me more than anything in this world. And more importantly, he should stay with me forever.

But where I will get that man? This thought makes me nervous all the time, it's not easy to find someone with all those qualities.

I started liking Ivan because he resembled some of those things, but then I realized there are a lot of shortcomings. He is five years older than me, even if we date there is a high chance of breaking up after some time.

Adrian is more perfect, he is smart, intelligent, and handsome than Ivan but he isn't a kind person. He is secretive and he will just throw me out easily like what he did to our friendship. Reminding that every time makes my blood boil in anger.

He must be angry with me for rejecting his proposal, I can understand that but he went too extreme.