~ATTICUS~
“There you are, son,” my grandfather, Gerard Fawn, says as he joins me out at the lake.
This was my favorite part of my home. I would always come back here and stare at the view—especially in times like this when I had a lot on my mind.
“Are you not speaking to me as well?” he asks as he watches the lake along with me.
“That depends,” I say. “Did you also have anything to do with this wedding?”
He smiles, “the wedding was your mother’s idea, but I had nothing against it. I know you will not agree with us, but Autumn suits our family more than Anya does. Besides, your brothers will be there for her. It’s unfair that all three of you got the same mate, and it’s been tearing this family apart. This wedding is exactly what we need. I believe that a woman like Autumn will help you move on from Anya. Eventually, she would have had to choose one of you. It couldn’t be the three of you for the rest of her life. We are saving you the heartache of the future.”
“You say it like you know she wouldn’t have chosen me to spend the rest of her life with,” I note.
He shrugs his shoulder, “she would have chosen one of you. I’m not optimistic you wouldn’t be her first choice. I’m just telling you that marrying Autumn will make it easier for your brothers and you.”
“Why should I be the one to make the sacrifice?” I ask.
“Because you’re the eldest.” He says. “As the eldest, I’ve also had to make many sacrifices for my siblings while growing up. You have been a good child your entire life, listening to your parents, listening to your grandmother and me; if she were still alive, she would tell you the same thing that I was. Our marriage was also arranged, but we fell deeply in love. It can happen for you also.”
My grandmother, Annie Fawn, died two years ago. Her death had hit our family hard. We were all still trying to cope with it. Some may argue that two years was enough time to stop grieving, but she was an angel; she did everything for us.
“Do you think she would have wanted me to marry Autumn even though Anya is my mate?” I ask him.
I always respected her opinions. I wish she were still alive to answer this question on her own.
He nods, “Your grandmother was always very fond of Autumn. They would meet outside of our home. She never mentioned it to you but told me how much she adored her and wished that someday she could marry into this home.”
My jaw clenched. His words have gotten to me. Why did she want Autumn to marry into our family? I never knew they were so close. I knew Autumn attended the funeral, but I thought she was forced to by her parents.
“What are you trying to tell me?” I ask him.
“You know exactly what I’m saying. You will be fulfilling your grandmother’s wish by marrying Autumn. You wondered what she would have said if she was still alive; I can tell you that she would have told you to marry her. I’m not just saying this because it’s what I want or what your parents want; I’m telling you because this is what she would have liked.”
I stand there, looking at the lake, with his words on my mind. I glance at him, and I know that he realizes he’s cornered me. He said the right words. He said the one thing that would guarantee that I marry Autumn.
Fulfilling any wishes my grandmother may have had will always be on my to-do list, even if those wishes meant destroying my happiness. Marrying Autumn Rivera may very well take everything from me, but I was willing to do it now. Because of her.
“Did my parents put you up to this?” I ask him.
He laughs, “they may have mentioned something to me. I didn’t do this for them, though; I did it for you and my lady in the sky.”
I shook my head, “I guess I should go tell them the good news?”
He nods, “it will make their day. That’s for sure. Though, even if you hadn’t agreed, I know they would have found a way to convince you. It’s your parents, after all.”
I storm back into the house with one thing on my mind. This time they’re in the garden. All eyes are on me as I approach the crowd.
I see her again. Autumn. My future wife.
I try to ignore her beauty, standing near a bouquet of red roses with the wind blowing her long ash blonde hair. I tighten my fists and walk past her to my parents.
They are still displeased by my actions earlier; I can tell. I know they’re not expecting me to accept this wedding, not this early, especially since I told them earlier that I would only marry Anya.
“I’m ready,” I say to them. “To marry Autumn. You can start the preparations. I will not try to stop it.”
My mother’s eyes lit up with happiness, and she hugged me, “I’m so proud of you, son.” she said with a smile. “I know that this will be the best decision of your life. Autumn will be your lucky charm.”
“Now that’s my boy!” my father said as he hugged me next. “This is going to be the wedding of the year. No doubt. A Rivera marrying a Fawn, finally.”
Autumn’s parents are hugging mine. They’re the happiest amongst us. One would think they were the ones getting married by how glad they were.
Autumn joins us then, and she looks surprised that I agreed to marry her.
She opens her mouth to say something when my phone rings.
I look down at the caller ID and feel my body become still.
Anya.
I move away from the crowd, including Autumn. I know she also saw that it was Anya calling me.
I take a deep breath as I slide to answer, “Anya.”
“Atticus!” she shouts from the other end. “What are these articles? Why on earth does it say that you are going to marry Autumn? It’s a lie. You wouldn’t agree to marry her knowing we are mates, especially when she’s my closest friend.”
I run a hand through my hair, “I’m so sorry, Anya. I only found out today from the articles. My parents didn’t tell me anything about it. I confronted them, and it turned out that it was true.”
“No,” she whispers. “It can’t be. Please tell me that you’re going to find a way to get out of this wedding. You can’t marry her. You can’t marry Autumn.”
How did I tell her that I had already agreed to the marriage? How did I tell her I wasn’t about to back out of it?
She will never understand my reason behind it. And I wouldn’t blame her. No one would want to see their mate marry their best friend. Anya never understood when I put my grandmother first before anyone else; she wouldn’t understand why I chose to accept this marriage for her either.
“I’ll come to you,” I tell her. “We can talk about this in person.”
“What is there to talk about?” she demands. “You’re not marrying Autumn. You need to contact the people that wrote these articles and tell them that it was all a lie. It would help if you did this, Atticus. I will never forgive you if you don’t.”
“Anya,” I whisper; I can barely find my voice. I try to come up with words to make this easier for both of us, but nothing comes to my mind.
“Don’t come here.” She screams at me. “I don’t want to see your face. I will only see you if you fix this mess that your parents caused!”
I don’t get to say anything else to her as she cuts the call. I stare at the screen with a blank expression on my face. I can see my image looking back at me. I swallow; what am I doing?
My life was already complicated before this. I remember the first day I found out that Anya wasn’t just my mate but my brothers as well. It had tear me apart. I spent days,years trying to be okay with it. It’s safe to say that I still wasn’t; none of us were. We all knew that a day would come when she had to choose one of the three of us. She’s wanted all three of us, but it’s something that we couldn’t do. Sharing wasn’t my style. I could never share the woman I was in love with. And definitely not with my brothers.
I knew that my grandfather was right; I was making things easier on everyone by agreeing to marry Autumn.
I’ve always protected my siblings since I was young. I’ve looked out for them. Once more, I had to make a huge sacrifice to make them happy.
Now it would be between Damon and Dante to decide.
I’m sorry, Anya. Family comes first. It always has. It always will.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
~AUTUMN~
I bite my lib to keep myself from losing my calm. This wedding was going to drive both Atticus and Anya insane.
I didn’t understand him. Why did he agree to this marriage? Just a few minutes ago, he said that the only woman he would marry was Anya. What caused him to change his mind this quickly? And I could see that he was not okay with it.
I know Anya was the person who just called him. I understand that this meant she had just found out the truth. The articles must have finally reached her.
Our entire school must know by now. This was going to rock everyone’s world. All the students knew that Atticus belonged to Anya and how crazy the three of them were crazy over her; they also knew that Anya and I were best friends.
This wedding would be the talk of the town for a long time. Judging from the number of articles already published, our faces would be on the front pages of many magazines for weeks to come.
“Would it stop you to smile, sweetheart?” my mother whispers near me. “Everyone is looking at you.”
I try not to roll my eyes, “mother. Smiling is something that only happy people do. I am not happy.”
“Smiling is also something that can easily be faked. At least do that for me, please.” She pleads.
I glare at her before putting on my fake smile.
“Is that okay now?” I ask through my fake smile.
She grins, “that is lovely. Now keep that smile up because you’ll have to change that dress into an evening gown. You and Atticus have a photoshoot right here in the next hour.”
“I did not walk with an evening gown,” I hiss. “In case you haven’t realized, I was unaware I would be marrying anyone.”
“That’s already taken care of,” she informs me. “Your brother and sister are here. They picked up the dress for you. All that is left for you to do is change into it.”
“Of course,” I mumble. “You have already thought of everything.”
She smiles, “you know I always am prepared. Let me take you to Atticus’s room. It’s where you will change.”
“Atticus’s room?” I ask, alarmed. Why would she take me to his room? Their mansion had plenty of other rooms that I would happily change in. Why did it have to be his?
“Yes,” she confirms. “After you get married, both of you will share the same room. There is nothing wrong with using his room to change; he is your future husband.”
I looked in his direction; I didn’t think he would be okay with this. But I don’t think my mother would give me an option to say no.
I follow her into the house. This was the first time I would ever step into his room. I’ve always wondered what it would be like.
It took us a while to get there; the distance from the garden to his room was longer than I expected.
The door opened, and I held my breath. It smelled like him. It was the first thing that I noticed. I wanted to bury my hands in his shirt on the bed and inhale.
“I’ll leave you to change.” My mother tells me as she shows me the dress lying right next to his clothes. “And don’t take too long. The photographers are already here.”
She closed the door behind her, and I sighed the moment I was left alone. I never thought I would ever be in the room that belonged to Atticus Fawn. The interior was black, his favorite color. Just like I imagined it to be.
I want to take my time taking in more of it, but I know my mother will come knocking any minute now.
I unzip my dress and pull it down my body before stepping out of it. I’m left in nothing but my underwear.
I pick the silver backless dress up from the bed. I hear the doorknob turn, did mother return so soon already?
The door flies open, and I say, “mom; I’m not finished—”
I don’t finish my sentence; I can’t. I’m too stunned to speak. The person in front of me is not my mother.
No.
It’s Atticus.
The dress drops from my hand. His eyes wander lower. My heart skips a beat. His gaze lingers. I can barely hear my breaths as intense clouds his eyes. I’ve never seen a man look at me that way before, and I’ve never seen that look in his eyes, even when he looked at Anya. It was so new to me.
The sound of footsteps breaks both of us out of our trance. Atticus steps in and slams the door shut before anyone can see me.
The sound is enough to remind me of my state.
I spin around and cover myself even though it doesn’t make sense now that he’s seen me. And I’m not helping the situation. That is if he’s still looking at me, which I doubt he is.
He clears his throat.
“I’ll leave when my brother walks past my room.” He tells me. Did I mistake it, or was there a huskiness to his voice?
“It’s okay,” I whisper. “This is your room. I’ll be finished in a minute. You can have the room to yourself after.”
“No.” He disagrees. “There is no need to rush.”
There is a slight pause before he softly says, “this will be your room eventually.”
A minute passes, and I hear the door open and close behind me. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I had been holding as I fell onto his bed. My face hits his shirt, and I inhale even though I shouldn’t. Why do even his clothes smell as good as him? It doesn’t make any sense to me.
I jump off the bed when the door suddenly opens again, “Autumn, why are you still not dressed?” my mother demands. “What are you waiting for?”
I sigh and quickly put on the dress. She helps me zip it to the back, and then we head back out of the room. Atticus is waiting for us a little distance away, and I can feel my cheeks burn at the reminder of what just happened. He saw me almost entirely. Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse for me, I had managed to flash Atticus Fawn.
This day was about to break the record for my list of most embarrassing things I’ve gotten into.
I watch as he walks into the room to change as I have done.
“Your phone is blowing up,” my sister tells me as she joins my side. I take it from her and stare at the many notifications.
Oh no. Everyone from my school knew that I was marrying Atticus already. Just like I had suspected. Some were calling me a fake friend; others were begging me to be their friend now that I would be married to Atticus.
None of those things managed to upset me, like the one message that stood out. It was from Anya.
‘How could you?’
It was just three words, but it left the impact that she wanted it to have on me.
It wasn’t my intention to marry Atticus. I didn’t think he would have agreed to any of this. When I get a chance, I will have to corner him about everything. It couldn’t be something simple that made him agree to marry me. Did his parents threaten him and force him to agree? But they were by my side the entire time; they wouldn’t have had the chance to convince him. Someone or something else was the cause for his sudden change in decision.
There are ten missed calls from her—my closst friend. She should know that I would never intentionally betray her. This was out of my control. I didn’t even know about it to begin with.
Maybe I can meet with Atticus, and we can discuss finding a way to stop the wedding. Even though my heart belonged to him, I didn’t want to take him away from Anya. I cared about them too much to separate them from each other.
When Atticus walks out of the room, my heart stops beating for a second. I can’t help but stare. The white shirt compliments his eyes, and the fabric pressed against his body leaves nothing for the imagination.
He catches me staring, and my breath gets caught in my throat. I quickly looked away, trying to act normal even though my heart was racing in my chst. This is the effect he always had on me. Except now he was finally looking my way. He never did before. I had his attention, and I wasn’t prepared at all for my body’s response to it.
He’s beautiful. Atticus is the most beautiful man I’ve ever set my eyes on. Too good looking for his own good.
“Come with me,” Atticus says, and I do as he says. He takes us to the photographer. The man looks eager to take our pictures. This must be something he loves doing. Was he accustomed to taking pictures of couples who didn’t want to get married? If not, this was about to be interesting for him.
“Put your arms around her.” The photographer orders Atticus.
There are other photographers to the back, ready to snap as well.
I bte my lib when his fingers curl around me. His hand was warm; his body was too. And it felt good next to mine. His scent was stronger now that he was this near to me, and I think I might faint from this contact.
“I need you both to give me your best smile.” He continues to tell us.
Our best smile? Neither of us was happy. How could we do that?
My mother points at her libs, mimicking a smile. I sigh and do as the photographer asks.
I can feel the anger radiating off Atticus. He’s pissed that he has to do this with me, and I don’t blame him. No one should be forced to do anything they weren’t happy doing.
My body is motionless as I wait for it to be completed. I’m trying not to enjoy his nearness, but it’s hard to do.
“I’ll make this work.” He dismissed us suddenly.
After the photoshoot, I followed Atticus back into the house until I got a chance to be with him alone. When he turns to look at me, he doesn’t look surprised. He must have already sensed me behind him.
“Why are you following me, Autumn?”
My name on his mouth sends a shiver down my spine. How many times have I wished to hear my name in his mouth? This wasn’t how I wanted it to happen, however.
“I want to know if there is a way for us to get out of this marriage,” I tell him. “I know you don’t want to marry me. I know you love Anya. And she is my best friend. I don’t want her to think I’m betraying her by marrying you. I can’t get out of it on my own. I’ll need your help.”
Atticus looks surprised at my words. He didn’t expect me to ask him to get out of this marriage. What was so shocking about that? Did he think I was just like my parents?
My hand begins to quiver when he takes a step toward me and places one hand above my head. His gaze is severe and intense as he looks at me.
“I’ve already agreed to marry you, Autumn.” He says. “I’m not a man that goes back on his word. This wedding is happening.”
I bte my lib, and his gaze lowers to it—my breath hitches at the look in his eyes. I must have imagined it. Atticus would never look at me with heat like that. But he did earlier as well. Didn’t he? When I’d barely had any clothes on.
I try to breathe through the intense emotions in my heart. I had to be imagining this.
“Why did you agree to marry me?” I ask him. “Just a few hours ago, you hated the idea of it. What could have possibly made you change your mind so quickly?”
He sighs, “that isn’t important. All you need to know is that this wedding is happening. If you tell me now that you don’t want to marry me, I’ll find a way to stop it. But if you don’t have any complaints, I will marry you.”
My libs part; if only he knew the truth in my heart. If only he understood how much I wanted to marry him, but only if he wanted me. I didn’t want this to be forced.
I don’t say anything else, and Atticus takes that as my consent to him marrying me. He’s still staring at me, making me nervous under his gaze.
“There you two are!” My mother says as she spots us. “There is one more picture that we didn’t take.”
Another picture?
“Mother,” I say. “We’ve taken enough. More than enough.”
She grabs my hand and pulls me with her, “no, it’s not enough. This last picture is an important one. We need the public to believe that you’re both in love. And this is going to help with that.”
I sigh, “I guess there is no point in saying no now. I already agreed to everything else.”
“That’s the spirit!” She cheers.
It’s hard trying to put a smile on my face when I am far from happy. My mother doesn’t realize how much this bothers me. She’s too preoccupied with her excitement to take a second and look at me. I know she thinks this is the right thing for us, but how can she be so sure?
I fold my arms as Atticus joins me in front of the photographer. He looks just as over this as I am. Even the photographer seems to sense the tension between us. He probably couldn’t wait to get this over with as well. He was happier before when he thought we wanted to marry each other. He must know by now that this is an arranged marriage, not one out of love.
“What pose do you want us to do?” Atticus asks. There is no hiding the irritation in his voice.
I try not to let it bother me. I gave him the chance to stop the wedding; he didn’t take it. There was nothing else that I could do. I shouldn’t feel guilty over this. The only person I had to ask for forgiveness after this was Anya. I had to speak to her and explain everything that took place. This wasn’t just a shock to her. It would take me months to come to terms with everything that happened today. It all took place so quickly that my mind is still trying to process it.
“A kis. That’s the last picture I need to take.”
My body goes still. A kis? Are they insane? We just learned that we have to marry each other and suddenly they expected us to kiz.
I can hear Atticus’s breathing next to me. It’s loud and uneven. He doesn’t want to kiz me. I can tell.
“Is that truly necessary?” He asks the photographer.
“Of course, it is,” he answers him. “You’re going to marry her. It’s a simple request. Grooms are usually happy to kis their brides for a picture. I’ve never come across a reaction like this before.”
Atticus’s mother narrows her eyes at him, “there is no need to cause a scene, son; kiz Autumn so that we can have this picture posted as soon as possible.”
“I don’t think—” I don’t get time to finish as Atticus’s hand lightly grips me and turns me towards him. My eyes widen when his libs come down on mine. And that’s how my first kiz with him happened. With my eyes wide open. His are, too; we’re both staring at each other as his libs stay on top of mine, unmoving. I’m not prepared for the rush of emotions that flood my body. It’s unlike anything I’ve experienced before with any other man. This time, I feel it down to my toes.
My eyes slowly clos as I let my body take over. I have no control over myself as I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him near to me. Atticus’s body goes still at my reaction, and his grip loosens on me; it’s like he’s unsure what to do now that I’m kizing him back. It’s almost like he’s in shock. I know that this doesn’t seem right; I know that I should pull away, but the moment he kised me, I lost all control. My body has wanted this for so long that it’s not thinking straight.
I’m not prepared for the low growl that departs his mouth as he deepens the kiz; his hand tightens on me, bringing our bodies near. I try not to whimper as my belly explodes with a forbidden feeling for this man.
Another growl pulses from him as he put his body away from mine. My eyes widen with horror as he wipes his libs as though to rub my taste away.
Did he hate it that much?
“This is perfect!” The photographer says. “For someone that didn’t want to do the do, to begin with, you did an excellent job.”
Atticus looks anything but happy with his praise.
I couldn’t believe it. I’ve been dreaming of kizing Atticus since I first fell in love. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have his libs on mine. I knew now that it was more than I’d ever hoped for from him. I clutched my chet; my heart was racing, pounding hard and fast.
I watch as Atticus storms out before anyone can say anything else. I knew he was even more upset than he was showing.
I slowly bring my finger to my libs, still tingling from his kiz.
“Did I say something wrong?” The photographer asks.
His voice reminds me that I wasn’t alone. I didn’t want everyone to see how affected I was by his kiz. Though that wouldn’t be such a bad thing since strangers needed to believe that we were in love. While they would easily be able to tell that Atticus was not in love with me, I feel like anyone would be able to read straight through me like an open book.
“Do not take his actions to heart, Mr. Asanto.” His mother assures him. “My son is a little stressed from all of the preparations. That’s all.”
She lied with so much ease; it was a shock to me. It would seem that my parents weren’t the only ones with this skill.
I know that I shouldn’t follow after Atticus, but my feet are moving without my permission. I want to ensure he is okay and doesn’t do anything cute. I keep searching for him until I finally do spot him.
He’s entering his car, one of the many his family owns. They were the best in designing fast vehicles and manufacturing them. They also added special features, whatever their customers need. They were brilliant when it came to fast cars. That’s why once someone bought a car from them, they didn’t bother looking elsewhere.
I wasn’t sure if Atticus should be driving under these conditions.
I try to get to him before he leaves, but he’s already speeding past me. My hair flies all over my face from the force of it. I sighed; now I had to hope that he drove safely and didn’t act recklessly because of the wedding. My heart races with fear as I watch his car drive off with him in it.
. . . . . . .
~ATTICUS~
The engine revs as the car accelerates. I have plenty on my mind. There is so much, yet I can’t focus on anything else but the kiz I just shared with Autumn. Her libs were soft like butter, and her taste was still in my mouth. Her taste was like a sweet apple, and her scent was like fresh roses. I swallowed, and it felt like I was letting the taste of her into my body by doing so.
The guilt was eating me alive, not for kizing her but for how it made me feel. I had a mate. I had someone I couldn’t live without. So why did one kiz bother me this much? Why was the impact so strong? This was wrong. So wrong.
What was my problem? Why couldn’t I have some control? I’ve always had more self-control than this, even around Anya. What had changed now? What was it about Autumn?
I felt like a failure.
Anya was crying and in pain, and yet I was enjoying a kiz with her best friend. The least I could do for her was not feel any emotions around Autumn, and I couldn’t even do that.
What would she do when that picture of us was posted? What would she do when everyone she knows sees it and asks her about us? Everyone in school knew of our relationship; they would bombard her with questions. How would she feel? It was supposed to be a peck, nothing else. But when Autumn wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled our bodies near, something inside me snapped. It was unlike anything I’d felt in the past. I was disappointed in myself. I should have been stronger.
I’d never done something like this before. Never. Not once.
Autumn always could make me feel things I didn’t like; it’s why I tried my best to ignore her in the past. But this time, it was out of my control. I couldn’t run from her anymore. She was going to be my wife.
Avoiding her would be cute at this point. She would soon share the same room as me, the same car, the same house. We already attended the same school; I couldn’t avoid her anymore.
To make matters worse, I had seen her almost no clothes on. I mutter a few bad words. Her body was very beautiful. I hated that I noticed it the moment I saw her. I hate how much I wanted to stop and stare. Autumn has always dressed appropriately. She barely showed much skin. But this time, I was able to see more than I’ve ever done in the past, and I wish I hadn’t. It wasn’t something I would ever be able to forget, no matter how hard I tried.
“Call Anya,” I command.
“Calling Anya.”
My jaw clenches when she cuts the call on the first ring. Shouldn’t she at least hear what I had to say?
I wanted to give her a proper apology. One that she deserved after everything. She has done nothing but make me happy, and now I was hurting her. I was a failure as a mate. My brothers deserved her more than I did. They’d already left home to look after her. At least she wasn’t alone. I knew that they would make up for my absence. They would give her the love that she deserved.
“What!” I roar as I pound my fist against the steering wheel.
When will this nightmare end?