Can I Really Trust You?

The cold night air hits me before the wet drops of rain. I rushed to my car, hoping that the surprise I had made for my boyfriend, Josh, didn’t get wet and was safe from the rain. Today would’ve marked the tenth year we had been together. We met when I was seventeen and he was eighteen, about to graduate from high school. I had decided to put my dream of becoming a nurse on hold to support Josh while he finishes his degree in engineering. Never would I have thought that I’d be going back to school at the age of twenty-three and would be graduating with  a bachelor’s in nursing next month at twenty-seven. “Another 19 year old was found dead at Pike’s Market Place with the Torontos sign on his chest. The gang violence has only gotten worse and we encourage our citizens to please stay indoors past nine until this issue has been resolved”, announced the  person on the radio.  I clicked the radio off and rolled my eyes. I’ve been hearing about the Torontos and the Bulls since I was in middle school. It’s a never-ending fight between these two. So far my life in Seattle has been peaceful. I haven’t been mugged or messed with but that is probably also due to the fact that I don’t try to look for them or associate with anyone that is in these gangs.  Pulling up into the apartment parking, I grabbed the pho that was sitting on the passenger seat and his gift before turning off the engine. The rain poured endlessly down on me as I quickly ran up the stairs and into our building. I punched in the code and rode up the elevator, all while feeling nervous and excited.  The gift I had made him was a box of memories containing pictures from our ten years together and after the last picture, I was going to do the bold thing of asking him to marry me first instead of waiting for him to do it. The elevator door dings opened and I made my way towards my apartment. It would be a surprise since I’m usually working on a Friday.  “Josh! That tickles!” A voice that sounded like my best friend Ashley came from behind the door.  “I can tickle it some more”, Josh said in a husky-like voice. Fear rumbled through me as I quickly punched in the code to my door with a shaky hand.  Moans and grunts could be heard as I made my way towards the living room. I was hoping that they were just giving each other a foot rub but what I had actually walked into was far from that.  “Oh my God, Rika!” Josh screamed as he made eye contact with me. Tears filled my eyes, disrupting my vision but it wasn’t enough since I was still able to see Ashley roll her hips into Josh.  “Rika? Don’t you mean Ashley?” She giggled as she tilted her head back, which allowed her to catch a glimpse of me. “Oh my God, Rika”, she repeated what Josh had just said a few moments earlier. She rolled herself off him and covered herself with the jacket that was hanging on the back of the couch.  “How could you?” I whispered in a trembling voice. “How could you! And on the couch I had recently bought!” I yelled this time.  Josh got up from the couch, still naked and walked over to me with his hands up as if I was holding him at gunpoint. “Rika, I can explain”.  “How the f**k do you explain this?!” I screamed and a sobbed escaped me. He took a step closer and I took two steps back. “How long?” I managed to ask through an ugly cry.    Josh’s throat bobbed up and down as he looked down at me. “Two years”, Ashley answered for him. “We wanted to tell you but we could never find the time with your school and job always in the way”.  “Two years”, I repeated quietly. “I waited for you, supported you and you can’t even do that for me? And you, I really thought that you were my best friend”.  “I still am, I just happened to have fallen in love with Josh”, her tone sad as if trying to play the victim. Ashley always does this. She takes what she wants and steals what she can’t have. She’s the type of person that’ll never be happy with what she already has. If something happens to catch her eye or looks a little better than what she already has, she’ll take it. I never would have thought that Josh would be the one she would take from me. “Not anymore you’re not”, I threw the bag of pho right at Josh and he winced as the hot soup splattered onto his bare feet. “When I get back, I want both of you gone and out of this apartment”, I warned. I dropped the box of memories onto the ground causing it to open and the ring that was inside to fall out.  The sound of rolling metal came to a stop and I could hear Ashley scoffing at it. “Were you going to propose to me?” Josh asked me, this time his voice broke as if he was about to start crying. “Not anymore”, I swallowed down my tears and walked out the door. I skipped the elevators and went straight for the stairs, quickly going down them before getting soaked by the pouring rain. As the rain wet my cheeks, I was finally able to let out a real cry, one I had been holding in since I caught them. It was easier to hide tears with the rain. No one can tell whether the streaks going down the cheeks are from the rain or tears.  I slowly made my way towards my car and got in, shivering from the cold. I didn’t want to just sit inside my car until they left but I didn’t want to be alone either. So, I decided to call my other good friend to see if she would accompany me. I pulled my phone out from the pocket of my jacket and started to dial her number.  The phone rang a couple of times before  Bailey finally picked up. “Oh my gosh, girl. I heard, are you okay? I should’ve told you! I’m so sorry and you were going to propose too!” The tears that begged to be released came to a full stop.  “Did you just say you should’ve told me? Does that mean you knew?”  There was a long silence between us before she decided to say something again. “I’m sorry”.  Blood boiled to my head and all I wanted to do was scream. I hung up my call with her and drove myself down to the nearest bar in town. Alcohol was something I would never turn to but for some reason today, I was getting a terrible itch for it. The sign for The Purple bar flashed and I pulled into the parking lot of it. This bar was small but busy. People come down here for the aesthetics and the live bands that play down here during the weekends.  “I.D?” The bouncer asked. I pulled out my wallet and showed it to him and he chuckled. “You don’t look 27, sure it’s not a fake?” He teased me.  “Haha, very funny. How many times have you used that line on the chicks that come in here?” I returned with a playful grin on my face.  He winced and handed me back my I.D. “Feisty”, he said as he stepped aside to let me in. I walked my way over towards the bar and leaned on the countertop to catch the bartender’s attention.  “I’ll take a Moscow Mule, please”, I ordered as I made eye contact with the semi cute blonde haired bartender. He made his way over to me and smiled as he made the drink in front of me.  I took the finished drink from him, smiling, “Keep the tab open”. Knocking on the table top, I walked around the bar until I found an open seat. I figured that two hours here would give them plenty of time to pack up and leave.  Two hours had passed and I was on my fifth Moscow Mule. As I hadn’t had a sip of alcohol within the last four years, I was getting drunk quicker than you can say, “Another!” I ordered again. I had really thought that Josh was the one.  After so many failed dates with the boys in my class, I finally met Josh at a coffee shop by pure luck. It was like one of those scenes that you would see from a movie. When the guy spills coffee all over the girl, he tries to clean it up but thought it was wrong so he ended up buying her another coffee and a sweatshirt instead. It felt too good to be true but anything that feels magical always had to come to an end.  Worst of all, I couldn’t believe that my good friend Bailey would keep that a secret from me for two years. Some friends, huh. “I’m crossing you out, Needy Bailey!” I slurred out loud before slapping my hand onto my mouth, realizing I had just proclaimed the end of my friendship to the world. I had really thought that Josh was the one. After so many failed tinder dates, I finally met Josh at a coffee shop by pure luck. It was like one of those scenes that you would see from a movie. When the guy spills coffee all over the girl, he tries to clean it up but thought it was wrong so he ended up buying her another coffee and a sweatshirt instead. It felt too good to be true but anything that feels magical always had to come to an end.  According to one of my friends (who also happened to be friends with the slut who slept with Josh) told me that they had been doing this for two years now. God, just thinking about it just makes me want to gag but don’t worry, the friend that kept this “big” secret from me is no longer on my friend list!  “I’m crossing you out, Needy!” I slurred out loud before slapping my hand onto my mouth, realizing I had just proclaimed the end of my friendship to the world. “Jeez, little lady, I’m cutting you off after this one. You’ve had one too many”, said the bartender as he grabbed my empty mug. I gave him a smile that’s all teeth and pulled my phone out. The only thing that I’m looking forward to on a day like today is reading the last episode of my favorite Manhwa.  “Well, if you’ve had a shitty day like me, you’ll be downing a Moscow Mule too” I slurred to myself as I hiccupped. I scrolled through my manhwa, squinting, as reading was starting to get a little hard. “God dammit, what does that say?” I hiccupped again as I brought my phone close to my face.  The Manhwa was called ‘Can I Trust You?’ and it was about a girl whose best friend died and she went on this detective hunt to find out who killed her. Along the way she met a very handsome man, Arsene, who she happened to fall in love with and he ended up helping her find the truth. Arsene was a Duke but he was also a hitman for his brother the Emperor. Together, both Arsene and the main female lead, Ingela, found out that the Emperor had ordered a hit on her best friend, Rizpah. The author hadn’t mentioned it yet, but I already know who killed Rizpah. It was obvious that it was going to be Arsene because he’s the Emperor’s personal hitman.  “Arsene, I need you to tell me the truth. I know you work for the Emperor as his weapon. So tell me honestly, did you kill Rizpah?” I bit my thumb, chewing on my acrylic nails as the anticipation began to eat at me.  “Here’s your Mule”, the bartender interrupted as he handed me my drink. I looked up to grab it but because everything was swaying, the Mule had slipped out of my hands and spilled all over the table and onto my phone.  “No! No, no, no, no, no no!” I screamed as I stood from my chair. Grabbing my phone, I rushed to the bathroom to wipe off the alcohol that had gotten all over my phone and lap. “Just when I’m about to find out if I was right or wrong! Damnit!”  Loud screams could be heard from outside of the bathroom and I froze momentarily. Something inside of me screams danger but the amount of alcohol I had to drink that night had taken away my ability to think straight and thought that  nothing serious that could be happening outside that bathroom door.  “Get down!” Someone screamed. A woman rushed into the bathroom as I stood there like a deer in headlights. She ran inside a stall, sobbing and all I could do was just blink my eyes rapidly, unable to comprehend what was going on.  A loud bang was heard and the woman in the stall screamed. Another one went off and at this point, even my drunk ass knew I had to get out of there. I opened the door to the bathroom and it was dark. People ran and shoved one another as the sounds of gunshots fired and the only light that we were able to see was from the gunpowder being ignited.  “Run!” A man yelled as he ran into me. The bar I was in was called the Purple and it was located in downtown Seattle. Sure, Seattle has its flaws but never would I have ever thought that this bar would be the victim of a random bar shooting. Then a light bulb lit inside of me. What if it wasn't random but gang related instead? The Toronto's and Bulls never get along and they're always fighting on who owns downtown and I'm guessing today is the day that they're finally deciding who would earn this turf.  I swayed on my feet as I tried to follow the crowd when another pop went off. Panic soared through me and my anxiety was through the roof. Another shot went off and the person behind me had pushed me hard, knocking me down. My phone went sliding across the floor as someone in heels stepped on my hands.  “Ow!” I screamed. I was slowly starting to sober up but it wasn’t fast enough. I looked for an exit which happened to be on the other side of the gun fight. I slowly crawled towards the back end of the wall and followed it towards the exit. And just when I was about to make my grand escape, I was shot not once but three times. Once on my abdomen and twice in the chest.  The hand on the handle of the door slipped and I fell back. I managed to get out but I didn't manage to escape. I laughed as I coughed up blood. My world slowly spinning and my vision slowly fading.  I thought my last thoughts or words would always be to my family but at this moment, family was the last thing on my mind. Love was the last thing on my mind. Instead, I thought about where everything had gone wrong with my life. Where would I have been if I didn’t pursue nursing but acted or streamed online instead. Where would I have been if I didn’t date Josh. Where would I have been now if I hadn’t left that bathroom or spilled my Moscow Mule. Most importantly, was Arsene really the one who killed Rizpah?  Blood bubbled in my throat as I slowly felt myself drown from it. I looked up to the sky laughing, wishing that I hadn’t lived my life as Rika and that I was born as someone rich who had everything already laid out for me. I wonder if Rizpah had died feeling content with her life. She was rich, beautiful and intelligent with no man that would cheat on her. The only mistake she made was chasing a cat at a Christmas party and happened to witness Arsene murdering Count Vilas. Maybe if she hadn’t chased that cat, and maybe if I hadn’t left the restroom, we would both still be alive.  Sirens blared as the flashing lights of red and blue painted the exterior brick wall of the bar. My ears rang as my face burned with heat and my vision went completely black as I took in my last breath as Rika Yunika.