Secrets of the Willow

“No!” Mother shrieked as I felt her hand suddenly grip my wrist. I whipped my head around to frown at her stubbornly, only to see a horror stricken look on her face. “But mummy I want to go in there”. I moaned in reply as I pointed to the tall trees in front of me. I looked up at them in awe at how they towered above me all clustered together as if they could touch the sky. “Eva, look..” she softened as she knelt down next to me and motioned for me to look at the forest. I did as she wanted and focused through the trees rather than up at them. “I can’t see anything mummy, It’s too dark”. I noted as an eery feeling washed over me and I suddenly started to feel a little scared. “Yes, Eva it is. It’s dark in there and it’s dangerous. So I want you to promise me that you never, ever go in there. Even when you’re all grown up and mummy can’t tell you what you should and shouldn’t do, I want you to not go in there”. She practically pleaded as she put her hands on my face for me to look at her and I could see fearful tears watering her eyes. “I promise mummy”. I agreed as I wrapped my arms around her neck for a hug. She picked me up and carried me home, and as we walked further away from the forest, I kept my eyes closed hoping that the fuzzy shadow I thought I saw when her back was turned was just my imagination. Even though I was only eight at the time, I still remembered that day so clearly and my mother’s panic even when we had gotten home. The fact that I had almost ran into the forest seemed to still bother her. “What’s wrong?” My father had asked her as soon as we walked into the kitchen. “I’ve been telling you for years we should move! I don’t want to stay here. We need to go somewhere safe. I’m worried for Eva”. She replied as her voice cracked and she covered her face with her hands. I looked up at her with concern and hugged her waist as she sobbed in her hands. “It’s ok, it’s ok”. Father tried reassuring her as he rushed over to console her. “Why are you suddenly bringing this up again”. “She… she nearly ran in”. She whispered back to him, but I heard every word. “Ran in? You mean… the forest?” He whispered back, then looked at me with a smile. “Hey Eva, why don’t you go and wash your hands and face ready for dinner!” He suggested with a sudden chirpy tone. I did as he asked and left the kitchen, but curiosity got the better of me, even at the age of eight. So without them knowing I hid behind the hallway wall and perked up my ears to listen to their secret conversation. “We can’t afford to just move Lynny, you know that”. “Yes we can! We have savings, and once we sell this place we’ll be just fine”. She urged as she sobbed and sniffled back her tears. “Yea maybe for a year or two! But what if I can’t earn what I earn here? Then what? We can’t just pack up and go with no real plan?” “I don’t care! I’d rather be poor and struggle than have our little girl end up like so many others around here!” “Lynny, she’s a clever girl and she’s well behaved. She listens when we tell her what she isn’t and is allowed to do. So as long as we make sure she knows to never go there then she’ll be fine”. “I did! I’ve already told her. But I just don’t want to risk it, Terry! I couldn’t cope if something happened to her!” “Lynny!” Father snapped back instantly with an irritated tone. “We’re not leaving and that’s that! We’re not giving up everything just because you don’t want to ‘risk it’ ” “So you’d rather just live on pure hope that nothing happens to her rather than give up money and this stupid house, that’s way too big than what we actually need by the way!” “This is our life! She’s happy, she has friends and a good school. We’re not going until it’s absolutely necessary to!” “What? So you don’t think it’s necessary now with everything that’s already been happening?” “No, Lynny, I don’t”. He huffed in response. “We know to keep Eva safe, perhaps other people should have done the same with their kids! Or all these stupid teenagers that think they’re clever by going in there! So until I feel there’s a real threat, we’re staying put!” “Fine! I’ll just go and take her with me!” Mother sniped back with a defiant tone, and the thought of going anywhere without my dad brought tears to my eyes. “If you even try to take her away from me Lynny, I’ll just take her right back! I will NEVER let you take my daughter away from me!” “Oh really? But you’ll be fine with her being put in harm’s way?” “We’re done with this conversation!” “Yes because you know you’re being a selfish bastard!” She retorted back and my eyes widened in shock to hear her call him a bad name, I never once heard them argue or speak to each other the way they are now. “Says the one who wants to uproot her entire life!” He snapped back as his voice deepened angrily. “Yes so that she can have a safer life!” She retorted, her voice getting louder than the hushed tones they were using, hoping I wouldn’t hear them. “ENOUGH!” He shouted back and caused me to stiffen as I listened in shock. “We’re going to have dinner, then I’m going to work! I’ve already said I’m done with this conversation. We’re not discussing it anymore!” He demanded and as the kitchen suddenly fell into silence. I crept back away from the wall and snuck upstairs into my bedroom. For days I didn’t stop wondering what was so bad about the forest and why it made my mother want to take me away from here. I never forgot the way they spoke to each other that day and from then on, I noticed little hushed squabbles they had about something else happening and that they didn’t seem to be madly in love like I had used to think.