Trick

Hadley “You're his last hope." Rebecca, the director of The Companion Program lays it on thick, and I'm doing my best to be open-minded, but what she's told me is has me doubting my decisions. “He's a felon?" I rub my forehead with the heel of my hand, hoping to relieve some of the pressure that's built behind my eyes. This is a big decision. “He was a felon," she clarifies. “This charge was elevated because of his past, but I assure you – he is a changed man." Am I crazy for even considering this? On the one hand, I think so. But on the other, I try to see the best in everyone and I know it's possible to change. Look at what I've done for myself in the past two years. Who am I to judge? “What did he do?" “It's a vandalism charge. That's all I'm allowed to say, but if he can't be matched with a child to perform his community service hours, he's going to go to jail. Given his previous charges, the jail time will be exacerbated." She stops, eyeing me critically. “Patrick has done a one-eighty from where he was. He's trying to build a business, trying to re-build his life. This would completely derail any chance of it." “I've gotten to know him," the older woman gives me a sympathetic smile. “He's not a bad man. Put himself in bad situations and reacted badly? Sure. But bottom line is if she was my child, I'd trust him with her." I look over at my daughter, Riley, and wonder if I'm doing the right thing. In my heart, I know I am. She's been devastated; we've been devastated since my husband walked out on us. The marriage wasn't perfect and of course we had issues, especially about Riley, but I'd never expected him to leave. He gave up what I thought was a good and solid marriage to move in with a woman who didn't care he had a child. Children aren't her thing and they aren't his either. That's left Riles without the guidance of a male figure and she's been withdrawn since the separation began. It only got worse as the divorce dragged on. When it was final, we were appointed a court counselor, and the counselor suggested I contact The Companion Care program which leads me to where I am now. It's left both of us vulnerable and questioning what we have to offer. Maybe if Riley gets her self-esteem back, I can get mine back too. “You swear you'd trust your child with him?" “I would," she tells me, reaching out to grip my hand. The contact is enough to startle me. For the months leading up to the separation, my husband and I never touched, and since then, it's been just me and her. It's foreign to feel someone else's skin against mine now. Regardless of their gender or age. When you aren't touched for long periods of time, it's a shock to the system when it's being reintroduced. What's an even bigger shock is I didn't realize until this moment how lonely I've been. Human contact shouldn't feel foreign, it's a reminder I need to get back out into the world. “Can I be there? I don't want her to feel uncomfortable, and I'd like to know who he is myself. She and I have been a team for a while now, and I'd like for us to do this together." She balks for the first time and it gives me pause. “I'm not sure you should be there, I don't know if Patrick would like it or not," she breaks off with a shrug and a grimace. It's almost a look of warning and immediately I wonder what she's hiding. “I'll allow it, but I'm going to be honest with you," she stops and sighs. “Patrick Tennyson is a gorgeous man. If I wasn't happily married for the past twenty-five years, I would make a pass at him – age difference be damned." I laugh despite myself. “The other two kids we've paired him with have been a problem because their mothers have made it difficult for Patrick. They made inappropriate advances and he didn't reciprocate. Oddly enough, they complained and he felt like he could no longer remain with their children." Oh, I understand now. I hold my hands up. “That won't be a problem with me. I'm a single mom who works a full-time job, has an online Etsy store that occupies hours of my time, and takes care of her child. I'm not looking for a relationship, now or even five years from now. I'm just trying to live my life, take care of my daughter, and put food on our table." As God as my witness those words are true. I'm still trying to get over the anger, despair, and grief I feel having lost my eight-year marriage. That's not to say I'm not open to something happening somewhere down the line, but I'll never chase it. “Okay Hadley, we'll set up the meeting. I believe we can expect good results." I stand, holding out my hand to the director. I can feel hope and optimism for the first time since my ex-husband left. Maybe this man can help me reach Riley, maybe he can help her understand not all men leave. Maybe if she believes, then so can I.