Chapter 1: The fear of water
Panic gripped her throat, her heart pounding in her ears the moment the dark surface closed over her head; the sudden coldness drenching every pore of her skin didn't help her situation. She struggled to fight the torrent of emotions that flooded over her, while simultaneously realizing she had to relax in order to break through the surface. She had to free herself from the icy grip that threatened to overwhelm her at any second. She had never experienced such coldness before: Such a heaviness that pierced her right to her bones. She knew she was in morbid danger as the darkness pulled her down, even deeper into the murky water. It scared her shitless, her mind spinning as she struggled with another surge of terror as water rushed into her mouth. Belatedly, she pressed her lips together.
She desperately wanted to cough, but suppressed the urge ─ she couldn't give in. She had to keep the precious air in her lungs for as long as she could. 'Don't panic,' she encouraged herself. She couldn't afford to open her mouth, not now.
She was too young to die. She wanted to live!
These thoughts kept on hammering through her as she trampled water, trying to find her footing on a solid base; her arms flailing in the hope to grasp a strong lifeline. Her chest was burning. It demanded air. It wanted to breathe. She kicked hard, but it felt futile. The pull of the darkness was incessant; it wanted to drag her down deeper. There was no sun, no evidence of light, just this thick blackness that enveloped everything around her. She was in danger!
Then, unexpectedly, vice-like arms clamped around her body and her head broke through the surface of the water so quickly that it shocked her system like a jolt of electricity directly to her heart. She spattered and coughed all at once before she opened her eyes in slits. As if in a haze, she saw a most welcome face.
Uncle Jack looked at her with his big, scary eyes, his face pale as he gazed at her. Drenched himself, he held her in his arms and she wrapped her arms around his thick neck, crying hysterically while he patted her back, all the while trying to calm her down. It felt like she was on fire. Everything burnt. She coughed a few times, trying to focus on anything that brought light. The haze disappeared with each blink.
Her dad was beside her the moment they stepped back on solid ground. She could feel his presence close to her. Out of breath, troubled, he asked, “Are you okay, sweetie pie? Please talk to me."
She nodded in acknowledgement as she slipped into his warm embrace, nestling into his neck searching for more warmth and safety. The way she always did when she was in Daddy's arms. His burly chest wide and comfortable; she could always lay her head down on his shoulder finding comfort there.
“Oh, honey, are you okay?" Mommy asked so close to Tanya that she could feel her warm breath heating her wet cheek.
“Get something warm to wrap her in!" Uncle Jack bellowed. The next moment Dad and Tanya were swaddled into a blanket. She still coughed, her lungs burning with the effort of inhaling and exhaling.
“Here, let her drink this," Granddad said, also close by. His gruff voice unmistakably from years of chain-smoking cigarettes.
“Dad, that's brandy. I cannot give a ten-year-old brandy." Mom uttered, aggravated with Granddad's suggestion.
“Oh, hogwash, nothing can happen to her, she needs to get warm immediately, and brandy is the best source of heat right now."
With that a glass was held in front of Tanya's shivering lips and tepid liquid ran down her throat. She coughed from the sudden burn, but gulped it down. Not that she knew what brandy was but at that moment it warmed her body, which was all she cared about, soothing the burning cough at the same time.
She shook uncontrollably, even inside her cosy nest. She knew it was partially because of winter: It was in the middle of August after all. But, mostly it was because of the big fright she had. That fear would stay with her forever.
Tanya knew it would be a bad idea to listen to Etienne from the start when he told her that they should rescue the frog before it died in the icy water. He knew about her love for animals and that she would never let the opportunity slip pass to help a defenceless creature. Now, after the experience, she knew that the frog had been content where it was, sitting on the balmy rock, toasting itself in the midday heat. It was in no need to be rescued by her. It was her first real lesson about deceitfulness and Tanya knew she lost a little bit of a child's ignorance on that day ─ not knowing of all the lessons she would learn through her life yet.
Dad was stroking her back with his large, rough hands and her muscles relaxed methodically. She knew she was safe. In the few seconds she thought she was about to die, it was a terrible feeling: The feeling of total helplessness and having lost control. Tanya never wanted to feel like that ever again.
“Let's get her to the hospital." Mom said as she rushed towards the truck that had parked not too far from the river.
“That's not necessary, Estelle!" shouted Granddad, “She only had a scare, no need for the doctor."
“Dad, she has to go for a check-up, you know how much filth is in the water…"
“Oh, be quiet. My word, the kid was in the water for barely a minute. She will be fine." Granddad said, stopping her mom from a further flow of words.
“Take her home, run her a warm bath and let her rest, that's the best medicine for her now." He commanded in his usual stoic manner and with that he dismissed any further arguments from her.