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In Our Heads (bxb) Completed

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opposites attract
friends to lovers
aloof
confident
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drama
bxb
abuse
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Blurb

Everyone’s a little trapped in their own heads.

Cassian is the only child of very wealthy parents and has grown up being moulded to their expectations of him. He’s a great son and a model student while being popular and confident and he consciously strives to be perfect, so much so that he has never even had an unscheduled moment to breathe or think and the thought of making a mistake terrifies him.

Growing up in a household where he is basically the caretaker of his little brother, Theodore is plagued by anxiety that he keeps to himself as he tries to make his family look as normal as possible to people on the outside so that he will not lose his brother due to their parents' neglect and addiction.

When the quiet, lonely Theodore transfers to his school, Cassian cannot help gravitating towards the new kid despite the disapproval of his friends and parents. He’s determined to pull Theodore out of his shell only to realise he may be in one himself.

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Chapter 1
***** The trees outside had lost most of their leaves leaving the ground scattered in crunchy piles of brown and red that the janitors were currently trying to blow into a single heap, but every few seconds a gush of wind would send most of them flying everywhere again despite the men's efforts to bag the dry leaves quickly. It was early-autumn and the first period on quite a cold day leaving the usually vibrant class of 12th graders half asleep at their desks as they tried to keep warm and stay awake enough to hear what their teacher was saying, the three classes before this one had had the same vibe and Cassian was sure the three after lunch would continue to share the drained atmosphere. Maybe it was because it was Friday? Cassian was focused less on trying to listen and more on what was happening just outside the window, as he often was. The tree he always stared at had gone bare and he actually loved what it looked like now, he loved autumn and winter. It brought warm clothing, hot chocolate and misty days where barely anything could be seen and it seemed to minimalize the amount of gatherings his parents had which was a bonus for him. He frowned as he remembered that he had to pass on hanging out with his friends again that weekend as he studied the lines he could see in the bark across the yard. The cold did not prevent his parents’ annual autumn gathering and they refused to let him skip it despite there usually being no one there his age except a couple of his cousins. Cassian’s mother was a well-known planner and interior decorator and she loved every opportunity to create a party. Since she had no shortage of funding or space, she made sure to use every opportunity as well. He was always quite aloof despite his grades and usually drifted into his own mind, especially in class. The door opening in the front of the room drew his attention from outside and seemed to make everyone sit up a little straighter as if he had not been the only one that had spaced out and been brought back to the room by the sudden noise. He watched as someone he had not seen before walked in. The guy was clearly too young to be a teacher and carried a backpack strapped onto both his shoulders as he walked in looking incredibly uncomfortable by all the attention he was getting. The kid walked straight up to the teacher and held out a page, the class immediately beginning murmuring amongst themselves softly while their teacher was clearly distracted by the page he was reading. “Fresh meat.” Cassian looked at his cousin Amber as he grimaced at her chosen words. Amber and Cassian shared paternal grandparents and their surname. “Looks like trouble.” Their friend Kian replied. Cassian just shook his head looking back towards the front of the classroom. He knew some of his friends and most of the people in his school could be quiet judgemental and prejudiced. They all came from well-off families, their school was quite expensive to go to as well and they had a hand full of scholarship kids that could not really relate to anyone else so they ended up somewhat ostracised. The guy in the front of the class actually did look like he was probably a scholarship kid, especially because he was not wearing their school uniform. He had somewhat outgrown hair that could just barely be seen as his hood was beginning to slip from his head. The colour of his large hoodie matched his black sweatpants and sneakers. Cassian wanted to bet he wore an oversized t-shirt under that oversized hoodie. He watched the pair’s lips move from where he sat at the back of the class unable to hear a word they were saying but took note that most of the guy’s answers to the teacher were in the form of a nod or a shake of his head. Eventually, they turned to the class, well the older man did, the younger barely tilted his body towards them. “Everyone, this is Theodore. He will be joining our school as of today so you’ll continue to see him around campus. Theodore, would you like to introduce yourself?” The guy just shook his head in response leaving an awkward pause as if their teacher was not expecting that answer before he continued, “Oh - Alright, you can take one of the open seats.” “Alright, Sir.” “Mr Sir. Sir is my surname.” Cassian smiled at that. It always confused new students, but the English teacher’s name was Raymond Sir. It was amusing at first. Theodore gave no response to that information and seemed to run his eyes over the class before he walked over to the first empty seat they landed on. Cassian almost felt disappointed because it was on the other side of the classroom, near the front of the class. He liked meeting new people, he was quite the social butterfly in school and took on a few roles that required interacting with people, including being captain of the soccer and tennis teams and head of the student council in his school – that last one was a position his parents insisted he applied for and he got it pretty easily because he was a straight-a student that never gave any trouble and was so well-known and loved by both the staff and students. As Mr Sir returned to teaching, the class did not return to its previous level of silence because the period was almost over and everyone was discussing lunch and the new boy. Eventually, the bell rang and Cassian grabbed his books as Mr Sir tried to yell out a reminder about the homework instructions he had already gone over earlier above the noise created by everyone just trying to get out of the door. “Cassian –” He coughed as a ball was shoved into his stomach as soon as he stepped out of the classroom, “Field in ten?” Lance asked letting the ball go so Cassian could catch it as they walked with Kian and Amber trailing behind them. “Sure, I have to meet Mrs Henley first so I’ll meet you guys out there,” Cassian spoke while nodding at some people to greet them when their hands linked into his free hand as they walked by, occasionally bumping shoulders before they walked off. “Jake, catch –!” He randomly stopped to throw the ball when he spotted the goalkeeper from his team across the hall. Jake caught it easily and Cassian turned to greet Lance and wave Amber and the girls that had joined her off before he made his way towards his locker, which was away from the lunchroom and in a different part of the school from where the rest of his friends were heading. He greeted more people as he walked before he reached his locker and shoved his books into it. After he closed his locker he made his way to Mrs Henley’s classroom and she just told him a few things and confirmed a few others that she wanted him to convey to the rest of the student council members at their meeting after school before she let him go. He left the room and walked into the now empty hallway. Making his way down the hall, he turned into another and spotted a single person at their locker. Theodore. He was clearly struggling to get it open and Cassian smiled as he walked up to him. The guy did not seem to notice him at all as he let out a frustrated sigh and began trying to put the code in again. Cassian waited until he had the code entered before he lifted his arm past Theodore to give the locker a soft punch on the top right corner causing it to pop open. “It’s one of the weird ones.” Theodore let out another breath as he pulled it completely open muttering ‘one of?’ under his breath before he said, “Thank you.” And began taking books he had probably just received from his bag to shove into his locker. “I’m Cassian,” Cassian said. The only response he got was a glance from the corner of Theodore’s eye and a nod. “So you’re new. Swapping schools in your final year… Theodore, right? Cool if I call you Theo? Where are you from?” Cassian asked. “Not here.” Theodore shut the locker once he was finished and turned to leave. “The lunchroom is this way, actually there are just two dead ends if you head down there.” Cassian thought he was being quite smooth and helpful but once again Theodore just nodded as he changed directions and walked right past Cassian leaving him staring down the hall confused. He furrowed his brows but figured the kid was just not very social, they would probably speak eventually, Cassian had broken though anti-social barriers before. It was how he became friends with Lance and basically pressured him into joining the soccer team. Now Lance was still quite quiet and reserved but he got on pretty well with everyone in their team and had opened up a lot. Cassian turned around and jogged up to Theodore. “So, I’m the president of the student council. If you need anything, I can –” He stopped speaking as Theodore turned to go into the bathroom and let the door shut behind him into Cassian’s face. Cassian let out a breath of disbelief. He figured Theodore was not the most social and maybe he just did not want to be spoken to, but that was just plain rude. Maybe he was just having a really bad first day? Cassian felt a frown grow on his face as he shook his head and walked away from the door heading towards the back of the school where the courts and fields were.   The rest of the day brought more sightings of Theodore wearing his hood up in class and literally not saying a word to anyone. Not that people did not try, Cassian figured girls were trying to speak to him because he was clearly handsome and quite tall, but either the way he looked at everyone or the fact that he replied with one-word answers in the dismissive tone he had used earlier when Cassian spoke to him got them to leave him alone after a few attempts of trying. When the final bell rang, Cassian walked out of his last class holding the books he had used under his arm as he pried open the vitamin drink he had with him. He had his last class alone so he walked through the halls alone apart from the occasional hugs or greetings he got from people as he walked by them. “President.” He smiled as Amber joined him, she was on the student council with him, “We’re meeting for an hour today, right? Because mom wants to go dress shopping for tomorrow, she doesn’t like the one I already bought.” “Ah, tomorrow. The infamous autumn gala you two are ditching us for.” Jake said from beside Cassian who noted that Jake, Kian and Lance had basically joined them out of nowhere. “Yes. My father says attending is compulsory, I’m so tired of all these suits.” Cassian said loosening the tie around his neck. “Are you kidding me? I wish I was invited to that gala; your parents know the most insane people.” Kian said. Cassian nodded slowly. “True. I guess keeping good relations is important.” Cassian shrugged, “I’ll ask my mother to let you onto the guest list next time.” “Count me in. I can’t believe you get to party with Hussein Chalayan, I have... so many questions.” Amber’s friend Tiana spoke up. “Who?” Cassian asked confused causing both girls and Jake to gasp. “I am ashamed of you. See you at the meeting.” Amber sounded repulsed and shook her head as Tiana dragged her away. Cassian looked at the guys even more confused than he had been by the initial reactions he had received. “Fashion Designer.” Jake chuckled. “Ah.” Cassian laughed. Jake was the only guy he knew that was so interested in fashion he knew names beyond Armani, McQueen and Tom Ford. “He’s really weird.” Cassian’s eyes followed Kian’s to Theodore who was walking ahead of them, people seemed to be making way for him as he did, maybe that was just because he walked so fast and intently. It was like he was in a hurry to get somewhere important. Cassian could not help but wonder where he was heading. “Weird? He’s rude and completely unapproachable. He dropped his book, I picked it up for him and he did not even say thank you. He’s been rude to everyone today. He validates the hate scholarship kids get.” Lance frowned. “How do you know he’s on scholarship?” Cassian asked trying to keep his eyes on Theodore through the growing number of people between them. “Ella found out from Miss Sanders.” It was unsurprising, the secretary was Ella’s aunt and her father was the school principal. They came to a halt as they reached Cassian’s locker and he quickly grabbed his backpack to shove his books into it. When he looked up, Theodore was gone and he frowned lightly. Who shows up to a new school and acts that way right off the bat? Cassian wondered if the guy was forced to switch schools by his parents, it would not validate his behaviour but it would motivate it. “What do you want us to run?” Lance asked. Lance was Cassian’s stand-in as captain when he could not make it, which was rarely. He usually was just slightly late when meetings were at the same time as practice. He turned to Lance to give him a run-through of what to do until their Coach showed up after the teacher’s meeting before he greeted his friends and began jogging his way upstairs towards the classroom the student council meeting would be held in, but he stopped when he reached the windows and looked outside towards the parking lot spotting the familiar all-black outfit. Once again he was watching Theodore and it made him question why he had been so focused on this guy all day, still, even while he questioned it he kept his eyes on the boy walking across the parking lot. When he walked right towards the gate Cassian raised his brows. That was new. Was he taking a taxi? Why had he not made the taxi come into the yard? Wait. He didn’t wait for a taxi outside, he kept walking. He was walking home. Cassian nodded to himself. Definitely scholarship. Most of the kids that attended the school had people driving them, if they did not they had their own cars. Scholarship kids usually also took taxis. The school was on the edge of the city because it was so big, a little away from everything. It would take at least a 30-minute walk to get to the city. Watching Theodore walk down the street made Cassian more curious about the guy, where he was from, how he had gotten into the school. It was weird to get a scholarship a month into the new school year during your final year, right? He didn’t know why but he was really drawn to Theodore. He shook his head chuckling at himself. He couldn’t be friends with everyone, he had to remind himself that. His father constantly told him he needed to be more cautious of who he hung out with but he did not really pay attention to that. He just liked people. He looked down to retrieve his phone from his pocket when he heard it buzz and tapped on the screen to see a message from Lance that just held a picture of a meme. He chuckled putting his phone back. When he looked back up, Theodore was gone again and he realised he was late for the meeting so he set off sprinting down the hallway. *****  

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