Change

IT WAS EARLY June, and I had big plans for the weekend. I was going hiking over a new trail with Brandon, my best friend. We’d been friends since kindergarten and I thought of him almost like one of my brothers, only he didn’t torment me like they do. It was Friday, and the day had dawned beautiful and clear. It was going to be a full day trip, and we had already let our families know where we were going. I even packed my lunch the night before so I had one less thing to do before we could leave that morning. At just after six, the sun and I had both been up for almost an hour, and I was nearly ready. I ran the brush through my hair, smoothing it into the ponytail I was forming on the back of my head. Winding an elastic around the tail, I glanced out the window and saw a familiar car pull into a parking space in the lot below. Picking up the brush again, I finished brushing out my hair as I watched a tall athletic man climb out of the car and head around the end of the building. I was adding the last of my things to my backpack when a knock sounded on my front door. “It’s open!” I continued packing. “You always just holler at anyone who knocks on your door at six in the morning that the door’s open? And why exactly is the door open while we’re at it?” Brandon demanded as he walked in.  “Just the ones I’m expecting,” I said, zipping my bag before looking up.   “You were expecting me, so what? It still could have been anyone at the door,” he was still intent on his point. “Could have, except that I saw you pull in as I finished my hair. I unlocked the door a couple of minutes ago, just before grabbing my lunch. I knew it was you, Brand.” “Ok, fair enough. I’m just looking out for you, Chica,” his tone much calmer now, his hands up in front of himself as if in surrender. “I know,” I said, “and I know you only push the issue because you care. Otherwise you’d be choking on your balls right now.” “Jeez, Nickie, don’t bottle up your emotions like that, you’ll get hurt. You need to learn to express yourself or someday it’ll all come exploding out. Then where will you be?” he looked at me, totally deadpan.  I didn’t bother responding other than to flip him off as I turned to go use the restroom one more time before we headed out. When I returned I asked him, “You got everything you need?” “Everything but you and your pack.” “Then let’s get a move on, we’re burnin’ daylight,” I said flippantly as I picked up my bag and slung it over one shoulder. I led the way out and turned to wait for him to exit the apartment before activating the lock. Brandon looked confused, as if he didn’t quite understand, but I didn’t explain the film reference and let it drop. The drive out to the parking area where we planned to start our hike took us about forty-five minutes, by then it was almost seven and the day was starting to warm up. It was still relatively cool but it was already hinting at the heat that the sunshine and desert floor would bring. We strapped our backpacks on and I tucked my Personal Communication Device, more commonly known as a PCD, into the pocket of my jeans where I could easily reach it, and we took off.  We started out heading west, away from the cars, the ground was rough and uneven but I was used to it and I moved over the loose rubble and small rocks with ease. We followed what appeared to be a wildlife trail. A path made by frequent passage of animals, like deer and javelina, it was narrow and winding but had very little overhanging brush so it was an easy walk. As we walked over the still flat ground, I called out to Brandon. “What have you been up to lately?” “Not much; work, sleep, eat. You?” “About the same, throw in spending time with the family and you have my life.” “I’m glad we were able to get out today, it’s a beautiful day. I really needed the escape from life for a while and this is a great way to do it.” “I agree,” I continued along the trail, which was starting to turn and lead uphill. “Careful through here, it’s really loose,” I warned him as I placed my feet carefully to keep from losing my balance as the bits of rubble that had washed off the mountain above us rolled and shifted under them.  Several minutes later, we came to a spot where water running down the hill had washed away the softer soil, leaving a sharp drop off that was taller than I was. I stopped and waited for Brandon to make the last few steps up beside me. When he reached my side, I could see the obstacle wasn’t quite as tall as he was, but that didn’t mean either of us could get over it alone.  “We’re gonna have to work together for this one,” I said.  “Yep,” he replied. “How do you want to do this, you up first or me?” “You’re gonna have to go first. I can boost you from the bottom, but I don’t have the strength to pull you from the top.” Brandon nodded. “You ready?” “You wanna go up with your backpack or should we take them off and hand them up separately?” “Let’s try it with them first, we can always take them off and try again if we need to.” “Okay,” I said, moving to one side of the trail and bending down on one knee so Brandon could use my bent leg as a step.  “Will that work for you?” I asked. “I think so, let’s try it.” He reached up and braced his hands on the top of the small cliff before he carefully placed one booted foot on top of my knee.  “Ready?” He checked with me. At my nod, he quickly pushed up onto my knee and used his arms to pull his body up onto the ledge, like one would lift themselves out of a pool. Seconds later, he was standing on top of the small cliff looking down at me.  “How are we gonna do this?” I asked, craning my neck to look at him. “There’s nowhere for me to step on my way up.” “Just stand right there,” he pointed to where he had gone up the cliff’s face, “and hold both arms above your head. I’ll do the rest.” “Are you sure you can lift me?” I asked, skeptical. “Pretty sure,” he sounded confident, “but we won’t know for sure until we try, will we?” He stood right at the edge he had just climbed over. “Come on, let’s give this a try.”  I looked up at him as he bent down until he was almost sitting on his heels, and he reached his arms down to take mine. I knew there was no way I’d be able to lift him like that. I extended both my arms over my head and reached past his hands to grip his wrists as he wrapped his long fingers firmly around mine.  “Are you ready?” he asked, looking at my face for signs of fear. I nodded and he started to stand up, using his legs instead of his back to pull me up the cliff’s edge. He kept his eyes on my face, my best guess was that he was watching for signs of panic in case I started to struggle, but I trusted him. I resisted the urge to try to walk my feet up the cliff, knowing it would only push my body away and possibly over balance us both. Instead, I settled for bending my knees and using them to crawl onto the ledge as soon as I was high enough. He stepped back slightly, keeping his grip on my arms as he asked, “You good?”  “Yeah,” I said, releasing his arms as he let go of mine and then standing. “I wasn’t sure that would work, but I’m glad it did.”   “Me too,” he said. “You want to take a break here, or continue to the top of the fan first?” “I’m ready to go if you are. You didn’t pull anything lifting me like that, did you?” “Nah, I’m fine, let’s go then.” He turned to take the lead for a while. It was mid-afternoon when it happened. We’d already stopped for lunch and started making our way back, taking a different route. This one wasn’t as clear of a trail but the going was easier, which was good as I was starting to get a bit tired. We had stopped a couple of times on the return trip but I admit, I wasn’t being as careful as I should have been. I was walking along thinking about something else, I don’t even remember what anymore, but my mind wasn’t on where I was going or what was around me. I tripped over a rock, stumbling for an instant before falling to my hands and knees.  Hitting the ground jarred me back into the present, knocking the breath out of me and leaving me momentarily dazed. I heard a buzzing sound, but I didn’t register what it was right away. I thought it was just my ears ringing from the fall. Crap, that’s what I get for not paying attention. I heard Brandon stop on the trail ahead of me, and without even thinking about it, I tried to get up. I’d already started moving, trying to push myself up with my arms so I could get back onto my feet, when I spotted it.  By the time I realized it was a snake, it was too late. He was already in mid-strike and I didn’t have time to avoid getting bitten. He’d seen my movement as a threat and was only doing as his instincts demanded, defending himself. I felt the fangs as they pierced the denim of my jeans and sank deep into the flesh of my calf. There was a hot, burning sensation as the venom pumped into my body. The snake quickly disengaged his fangs and escaped across the sand, having already done his damage and hopefully slowing the threat long enough to let him get to safety.  “Oh, s**t,” I said, my mind spinning with panic so intense I couldn’t put more than the two words together, even in my head. I froze, trying to slow my mind so I could think and not just react.  “What is it?” Brandon asked, back-tracking to my side to see what had happened.  “Snake. It got me,” I told him, speaking in short gasps as I struggled to calm my mind enough to think. “Rattler?” “Yep.” “Where?” “My right leg. On the calf.” I was starting to be able to think again. What are we going to do now? We’re still at least a half mile from the car and there’s no way I can hike it now. It’ll take hours for anyone to get out here to us, if they can even find us, and do they even keep anti-venom in the area anymore? My mind was still racing but I could at least make out my own thoughts. I knew I had to keep from getting hysterical, that would only pump the venom through my body faster. Stay calm.  My skin suddenly felt too small, as though it were shrinking but the rest of my body had stayed the same size. My whole body started stinging. Wow, I didn’t know that snake venom acted this fast.  Suddenly, or at least it seemed sudden to me, I felt like things were starting to move inside my body, bones and muscles moving into new places. I must be starting to hallucinate. The thought only drove my panic faster. I felt as though I had lost control of my body. Then, as suddenly as it had started, it all stopped, the burning of the bite, the stinging in my skin, and the sensation of bones and muscle moving and grinding against each other beneath my skin.  Have I died? I wondered, confused. I’d never heard of a snake bite numbing like that. I’d always been told how painful they were and how a victim suffered the pain for years, if they survived that is. Something strange was happening to me and I had no idea what it was.  I looked up at Brandon. He was standing next to me and I could see the surprise on his round face, not panic, not fear, just surprise. I tried to speak to him, to ask what was going on, but all that came out was a high-pitched whine. What the hell was that? It was a sound I had never heard from my own throat before in my life. It was a sound more like a puppy would make than a human.  “Well, I’ll be damned!” Brandon ran one hand through his short brown hair. “I’d given up the hope it would ever happen.” His voice seemed very loud, almost as though he were screaming instead of speaking. I whimpered and ducked my head, trying to pull my shoulders up around my ears.  “Whoops,” Brandon said softly, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Sorry, I forgot how sensitive your ears are when you change the first time.”  Change, what did he mean change? He bent down on one knee and reached one hand toward my face, I felt his hand under my chin as he lifted my face to look into my eyes. I knew something was different, but I couldn’t tell quite what.  “Are you okay?” he asked gently, still speaking very softly. “Do you feel better now?”  I tilted my head to one side as I thought about what he had asked me. It was gone, all of it. The pain from the bite, even the sting of my hands where I’d caught myself when I fell. What’s more, thinking about it made me realize that I felt good, like I could run back to the car and laugh the whole time. I wasn’t even tired anymore; a little hungry, but not tired. I tried to say so to him, but this time it came out as a short bark, which made me jump and look around me. What the hell was that?   Brandon chuckled, “It’s okay.” He sounded reassuring. “Do you think you can walk back to the car?”  I started to get up and that’s when it hit me. I was no longer walking on two legs, instead I was on all fours. I twisted around and looked at myself and was so surprised I fell on my butt, my body was no longer my own, and this one didn’t function in quite the same way. I was now in the body of a dog of some kind, a big brown one that was almost red in the sunlight. I turned and looked at Brandon again and whined, scared because I didn’t know what was going on. I couldn’t think about what was happening though, I had to just go. When it was over and I was safe I would have time to question it, to have a breakdown if I needed to. Right now, I needed to get back to the car.  “You’re all right, trust me. It’s okay. Let’s go back to the car. I’ll explain it to you, but you’re gonna want to be human so you can ask the questions I know you’ll have, plus you don’t have any other clothes here. And trust me on this, you do not want to hike through this stuff naked,” he said, motioning to the thorny mesquite and rough creosote brush that surrounded us. He picked up my backpack by the carry handle at the top and that’s when I noticed the arm straps were broken. He stood and started back down the path we’d been on, headed toward the car. I whined and barked at him, refusing to move. He turned around to look at me.  “What?” he asked.  I nosed the shredded remains of my clothes, smelling the acrid scent of the venom on my jeans as my nose brushed the rough cloth.  “You shredded ‘em, just leave them.” I refused to give up and sat down, indicating that I was staying with my clothes. After watching me for a couple of minutes, he came back and stuffed the remains of the clothing into my backpack.  “Happy now?” Satisfied he wasn’t leaving my things behind, I silently stood up and padded along the trail toward the car.