Manji Joseph Eric

I belong to the mental love hospital. I belong to a Mental hospital. Let me tell you why.  Some years ago on a rainy Friday evening, I was too shy to kiss her even when she asked for it, so I ended up hugging her and running home to avoid the rain. She later called me and said I was not man enough and lacked the requisite excitement she wanted for her life. "Manji, you're just boring, a waste of time and truly, I don't see myself going anywhere with you." One thing about harsh words is that the person who says them may forget and move on with life, but the person who is told rarely forgets. In my case, I never forgot those words and they kept hurting me so bad. They made me stick with her more as I tried to prove I wasn't those things. A very pathetic situation I found myself in. I kept in touch over the phone and sometimes through lunch but she kept her distance. One night, I called her and after speaking for some minutes, she handed the phone to a guy who introduced himself as her girlfriend. Mumu me, I was calm and hailed him. "I heard you are the one who has been in my babe's life since, so tell me, have you ever touched or kissed her before because I think I am having the time of my life now"; he said to me. Those words even cut deeper and I knew I had to take a stand at this point because it became clear to me I was being ridiculed and insulted. I ended the call and from that day, I kept my distance from her both in the real world and on social media. I got involved with life and forgot about her entirely. When she got married and gave birth to her first child, I found out a few years later. I decided to take that time to build myself. Between then and now is 10 years and hell yes, my life has gotten a lot better than I ever imagined. But the story didn't end there. Because most nights, I still remember those hurtful words she said to me, I guess, is probably my greatest weakness to forget hurtful words said to me. Sometimes at the start of the pandemic, I received a call from her and I was surprised I still had her number on my phone because we have not spoken in a very long time; years! My contacts automatically back up to my cloud so I figured that's why it was still there. We exchanged pleasantries and she wasted no time in telling me she was in trouble. (Manji ) that is how she usually calls my name, "I need your help, please. You're the only one who came to my mind and if I had another option, definitely I won't have called you." at first, I thought she was just trying me since almost everyone is feeling the current financial instability so, I told her what I felt would ease her, I could not remember the exact word but, I knew I stammered a bit. I was surprised in all these years; I was the one she reached out to. Well, she gave birth and her husband's finances have plummeted for several reasons and she was almost exhausted. She needs some money to clear her hospital bill as she just gave birth and is being held in the hospital. I asked the amount and told her to text her account details. I sent her double the amount she asked for so she can take care of other needs. Before we ended the call, I asked her if she remembered those hurtful words she said to me 10 years ago and she had no memory of it. She couldn't recall ever saying those things to me and even went on to say if she had the chance to be younger again and pick a partner, she would happily pick me over and over again. People say" love hurts" but the reality is, rejection hurts, betrayal hurts, low esteem hurts. People who are looking for love must time confused these feelings but, love is the only thing that cures, rejection, betrayal, raises your low esteem. I know she was saying the truth because sometimes people forget how much they hurt others with their words because they feel it is not a big deal. They were just catching a cruise and didn't care about the other person. I have seen countless instances. About 30 minutes later, she sent me a picture of her newborn baby lying on her bosom. "My husband will give him a native name while I will give him a first name. I will name him Joseph, by the way, that is my English baptism name, she couldn't have named him Manji or Auwal either since the husband would complain. I looked at the picture and all the anger I have built up in my heart for her over these years just melted away. Somewhere in my heart, I still loved her. And maybe that may never change regardless of where she is or who she is with. After that, I was supposed to catch up with an appointment that evening, it was a hang out at TRM Mall with three friends and one acquaintance. That acquaintance was well known to me because I pursued a guide through him. Unknowingly, he was the husband to my ex. He was a very simple, subtle and easygoing guy. My friends regard me in high esteem since I was from a different country but unfortunately, that was not the case with my new acquaintance whom I got there before He arrived. They were already discussing the guy and asked why I had to invite him for the hangout. According to them, the young man doesn't fit into their "class."I told them there was something about the young man I liked. Some sort of mystery that hid the real person. He was unusually calm and cool even in the face of challenging issues we face together in some deals. I strongly believed there was more about him than meets the eyes but my friends, were only interested in what they can see with their eyes and berated me for inviting him, they had no option because I was footing part of the bills that evening. When the guy finally arrived, we exchanged greetings and had our discussion. My friends never stopped dropping jokes at him and references, but the guy was so calm and cool through it all. He smiled at most of the jokes and never tried to defend himself in the face of disrespects. The last joke was made at his shoe and he even laughed hard at himself. When we all left, my friends warned me never to invite that guy again and they were serious about it. They felt he was a "nobody" and doesn't deserve to be in their midst. Their comments pushed me to go harder and befriend the guy. Three months later, he told me he was relocating abroad to join the rest of his family in Australia. He gave me a deal that impacted heavily on me and I remain ever grateful to him till today. My friends would've shared in that deal but he never got over the humiliation they meted out on him. Even though he was way above the words, they still hurt him but, the story didn't end there, We became good friends and he even invited me to his house as he planned to leave for Australia to join his family. Several days had passed, I decided to honour his invitation, I called to inform him that I was coming, he was expecting me as agreed, about an hour, I was at his place, I knocked on the door, since he was expecting me, he asked whether it was I at the door said, my friend? I replied, " yes, it was me." the house-mid came to open the door, I sat down and we talked about many things, I even asked about his wife and the rest of the family( children) he stammered a bit Then he said, they were at the park with her family members, I sensed my friend was going through some family crisis, a few minutes later, the wife called him to come and pick them up, and since I was going the same direction, I drove behind him in my car as we headed to pick his wife daughter and the newborn baby but, There was so much traffic on the road leading to the park due to a fatal car accident on that road so, we decided to use the public train and since my friend insisted for me to meet his wife and children before they leave the country, I thought it would be unwise to turn him down. We got into the train station that would take us to the city park. As soon as we got into the train station, his wife had left the city park where she was supposed to wait for him, she was trying to get back home using the train, I assumed she was angry due to his hesitation, I watched my friend being slapped and humiliated in front of over 300 people at the train station, she threw his car keys, his phone, his wallet on the train track. He did not raise his voice, he did not talk back at her not did he call her names, the only thing he said was," you can have the car, and everything but, just give me my daughter. Humility and simplicity is still a thing for many people in this loud and social media generation. Many people talk about a lot of things and never about the important things in their life. Pay attention and you'll realize this truth. Before you judge people by what you see, take time and ask yourself; "What if this is what they want me to see?" My friend has since been separated from my ex, and he's already with his parents in Australia but, the problem is, neither my ex-girlfriend nor I had told him that we had a history together, more so, she has been trying to get along by reaching out to me and I just don't know what to do. She reminded me that she would never be happy with anyone aside from me. I asked why she married him and she said," she said" me she allowed him to marry her thinking he could change her, she told me he was too soft and kind for her likes. Till we get to the Promised Land, I shall be waiting for when you will pass me a glass of water and thank God for the gift of grace for the race.