Teaching A Thing Or Two

Finley's POV Teaching.. it's a job that always keeps you on your toes without always getting the appreciation that's rightfully deserved. So it's tough on yourself, taking a mental toll along with a physical one. If you have ever taught, then you know this, probably all too well. The only reason I had even gotten into teaching was actually because of the impression my favorite teacher had on me, making an orphan like myself not feel alone for once. She made me feel like I actually mattered in this huge, people-filled world. So I strive every day in hopes that I can remotely affect someone, just like I was, straight to the heart. This job is not bad, no matter how it may seem from the outside looking in. It's actually the most rewarding career that I have ever had thus far. Teaching is absolutely amazing, inspiring, and literally life altering, at least for myself since I never thought of myself as a teacher at all. I just happened to fall into this job because they needed some substitutes, and I guess they loved me there and thought it was a good fit for me, so I stuck with it.. and after the years, it just started to feel.. right.. in my heart, so I still stuck with it.. no matter how hard things got.. it was always worth staying for the kids. I just wish I could feel as confident about my personal life. Don't get me wrong, I have had some good in my personal life, but it seems the older I get, the more lonely I feel, just by being the strong, independent woman that I now am.. I'm used to being by myself and have done it for so long.. but there is a point in my life where the regular usual way of things just isn't satisfying my needs anymore.. No longer do I want to come home to an empty house and enjoy my long night of alone time. No longer do I want to just keep everything to myself, not just because I can but because I really don't have many other options. I want, no, I need something else to strive and live for, and right now, I don't feel I have that at all, well, besides my work. Having a job that requires me to be around kids all the time is rewarding, stressing, and challenging... but also is currently sending my ovaries to jump into overdrive, wanting a family of my own.. which is surprising, at least for myself, because half the time I'm at work, I just want to punch these high schoolers in the face, but I still crave for something more.. A purpose in my life outside of work.. The purpose at work has helped satisfy my craving for a little bit.. but it's not working as well anymore. The biggest obstacle that I have faced with this whole wanting a family situation is that I can't have kids no matter how bad I want them... for medical reasons.. which makes these feeling so much harder than they have to be.. the second big issue is that my man of over a year that I'm very happy with and wanting more of a secured future with, is saying he doesn't want children and making sure it's explicitly clear to me. Which honestly breaks my heart. I have thrown the idea of maybe adopting a child in need, out on the table to him, and he wants no part of it.. no matter how much he knows I do. I have no idea why, either. He won't give me a reason why. He just tells me he is happy with me and only wants me. Which is sweet, and I guess for now, I'll just have to take what I can get, and maybe I can convince him some other time. "Please stop bringing up the kid subject with me, Finn.. Are you just not happy with me? Is that why you want more?" Maverick asks with a snap to his words as he just glares at me across my kitchen island. "No, Mav, I love you very much because you make me so happy." I respond so sympathetically to him. "Then why can't you just be happy with the simple relationship we have?" his words are laced with so much irritation that I can feel it in the air around us. "I AM happy with the relationship we have.. but is it honestly that bad for me to want more with you? Most relationships grow, connecting the couple more. Strengthening their bond as they conquer everything their relationship can provide together. Is it that bad that I want more with you? You know I do want to eventually get married and have a family, right?" I try to explain my side of things as he outwardly groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I know you want all that, but I'm not ready for that now, Finn." He snaps again, making me flinch. I don't want to pressure him or argue about my opinion anymore just because it's obviously pushing him away from what I want, which is not helping the situation. "Ok, I understand." I reply pretty quickly to him. He smiles in victory as he steps closer. "Good, let's drop this awful subject because I want to have a nice relaxing date tomorrow with you.. You know, not talking about all this serious s**t. I'm just having some much needed fun to help relieve your obvious stresses." He says this to me, gently touching my cheek. Even with my hurt heart, I just try to get past it, so I put on my fake smile for him and nodding. He leans in, inching closer and pulling my face into him as well. His strong cologne fills my nostrils and once again suffocating me. I just try to ignore the strong scent as he gently presses his lips to mine. He breaks the kiss only after a second, making the kiss feel more forced than anything. He turns away from me before taking his leave for the rest of the night. ------The Next Morning------ My alarm rings from my phone, echoing in my small bedroom, really making it seem much louder than it probably is. I groan hating today and not wanting to get up, but things are different this time. Today is the day that a lot, and I mean a lot of women, seem to enjoy for one reason or another. But I'm not one of those women who likes Valentine's Day.. Just the name makes me cringe and gag. Valentine's Day, the day for love and affections to be shown to one another.. or should I say it's the attention holiday, which, in my opinion, calls for more attention than any other holiday besides Christmas. I open my social media just trying to help myself wake up by doing something that gets my mind going, even if it's just for a moment. I scroll through the news feed, just observing every single sweet post and picture from my friends. Showing how in love they are with their partners, making me cringe automatically. But I try to change that cringe to a smile because for the first time, I have a man on this wretched holiday, and maybe I can finally participate in this holiday too. I get up and out of bed, putting some music on as I start to get ready for my long day to come. I take a shower, of course, to ease my stressing body and mind with the calming scents and hot water combo that just works perfectly. I continue on to drying myself off, followed by my hair next, so I can actually curl it since I don't normally do that. I slip a pair of my red skinny jeans on with a nice black half sleeve shirt that has red flowers on it for work. I'm trying to be festive for the students, mostly because they adore this holiday. After finally getting dressed and doing my hair so I can get to my make up, doing it lightly because I don't need to fancy myself up until tonight, that's when I will really dress to impress my man. I hear pattering on my front door, letting me know it's finally my turn for the love and affections I have been dreaming of for so long. He knows what today is. He has been talking about it more than the girls in my class. I have so much pep in my step as I practically prance across my house and to the front door just to greet my man. Maverick, a man who a woman like me never thought I could actually aquire in a lifetime, let alone tie down as mine. He is drop dead gorgeous, actually has a brain, always sweet talking me and even brings me gifts to let me know he is thinking of me. He really knows how to make a woman feel special on so many levels. I get to the door, opening it with a haste just to see my gorgeous man. His bright light brown eyes, chiseled jawline, and all-around knee weakening features, always seem to light up any dark room. He somehow seems to gain everyone's attention like a moths to a flame. That's how he originally got my attention.. It was at the grocery store, and of course, I was there to get groceries. He just came out of nowhere as if he just knew I needed someone in my life to make me smile. He has done that ever since. "Hello, my stunning Finn.. how is your morning going so far?" He asks as he pulls me into his strong hold with his one arm, just hugging me tight. "Hey Mav, it's been fine, I haven't done anything else really except getting ready for work." I explain as he lets me go, then pulls multiple items from behind his back just for me. "Well, then maybe this will help with that. I got you your favorite bagel sandwich with eggs, bacon, and of course cheese. Also a large coffee, extra carmel Frappuccino just like you like.. Along with this bouquet of roses just for you because you're amazing in so many ways.. and to top everything off, I'm your extra gift because I'm so amazing in so many ways." He explains, handing everything to me, making me smile so big, agreeing. "You are amazing." He scoffs at that comment as he quickly replies. "Oh, I know. you don't have to tell me." This reply honestly takes away a little bit of the appreciation I have for his special gesture. because it's a little bit of a turn-off when a guy always pats himself on the back and man, Maverick does it all the time. But I do like the things he does to make me feel special.. So I will just deal with the c*ckiness that comes hand in hand with his sweet gestures. "Well, this really is the perfect start to my long day at work." I state, making him smile bigger than before while stepping closer to me. "Too bad we have to work, or I would make sure to do ANYTHING in bed to put a bigger smile on your face.. I guess I'll just have to do it tonight to top off our fun night with something even more special." He whispers into my ear with him in such close proximity. I feel the goosebumps trailing all over my body with his breath fanning across my cheek and ear as I whisper out, "I can't wait." We are brought out of our sensual moment by his phone ringing. He groans as he looks at it but not answering. He just puts it on silent. It starts to ring again, and he does the same, not answering it. "You can answer it if you need." I inform him as he shakes his head. It rings again, and he does the same thing. "No, I don't want to talk about work when I'm just trying to spend what little time we have together with you." I nod in understanding as he slips his phone into his pocket. "Have a wonderful day, my beautiful Finley." I can feel him kissing my ear then my cheek softly as he trails across my jawline then to my lips. His tongue shoots between my lips, exploring my mouth so I can taste the mintiness of his spit while we French kiss like there is no tomorrow. After a wonderful moment, he takes his lips from mine to my dismay. But he doesn't move his body. He stays pressed against me. "You have a good day at your long board meeting.. I hope it's not too boring for you." I reply this into his lips as he just smiles into mine. "I'll just have to think of you to get me through. But I do have to get going before I'm late and you know I can't be late." He explains as I reluctantly nod. He steps back, making the spot next to me so cold without him in it. I watch him wave then blow me a kiss as he leaves right out my front door.