RECONSIDER YOUR DECISION

1947
Mariam’s P.O.V. “I understand everything doctor”, I said in a polite tone to the doctor who was explaining everything about the operation for the past half an hour. I was in the hospital and went through the tests that they wanted to run before taking me to the operation room. Honestly, I was terrified inside. I was never hospitalized before and here I was bedridden for more than ten months and now I needed to go through the operation also. I felt a hand on my shoulder and immediately my tense body relaxed. “Where were you?” I asked him immediately. “I had something to finish today”, he told me and I pouted this time. I felt a dip in bed in front of me. I smiled because he was now sitting in front of me. “Why this long face?” he asked me in a gentle tone while brushing hair from my face. My once long hairs were now a little longer than shoulder length. Demitry told me that they needed to shave my head so that they could treat wounds on my head. I pictured myself now covered with bruises and full of ugliness. I was not as beautiful as Valerie was still I was beautiful in a pretty way. “I am scared”, I said in a low voice and lowered my eyes. I felt his hands cupping my face and then his lips pressed on my forehead. “You know what?” he said in a low voice. “What?” I asked him immediately. I could feel his hot breaths on my face. It meant that his face was closer to me. I didn’t understand how could he stand my ugly face. “I am scared too”, he said and I frowned this time. “I am scared what will happen when you will see my face?” he said in a low voice again and I smiled this time. “I am going to kiss you as soon as I will be able to see your face”, I raised my hand and he took my hand and put that on his face. I gently caressed his face with the pad of my thumb. “I wish the same”, I heard murmured in a very low voice but I heard him. “In the next two months, you will be able to see the world and then you can go out”, he told me and I nodded. “I only want to see my mother. I miss her so much, you know”, I said in a sad tone. I really missed my mom. She was everything to me and I was never away from her for this long. It was the first time and I already had sworn that I would not let her go away from me not even for an hour for the rest of our lives. “Though you have signed the papers…. Still… I want you to reconsider your decision, Mariam. I promise that your decision will not affect the surgery procedure”, I heard him and this time I sighed aloud. He was a man of few words yet he was anxious about contract conditions. I didn't know why he made this contract but I trusted him completely. “I am not backing out from my decision, Demitry. I know that you will not stop my operation but I am not backing out. Whatever your reasons have to get my signature on that contract, I respect that. You have saved me. I …. I don’t know where this will take us but I am safe with you and this is all matters to me”, I said with the finality of my word. “I wish that you will not regret your decision. I leaned towards where my hand was. I didn’t feel him moving back that made me bold. I kissed him on his cheek and then came back to my previous place. “I trust you, Demitry. It doesn’t matter to me whether you are handsome or not. You have seen the ugliest of me. Still, you did everything for me. That is all for me”, I said while stroking his face lightly. He put his hand on my hand and then I felt his lips on my palm. “You should rest now. Soon the nurse will come and feed you your dinner. I need to discuss something with the doctor. I will be back soon”, he said and I nodded. He then again kissed my palm and then I felt him going away from me. I sighed and then closed my eyes. I could feel my lids now and that was why I knew that I had closed my eyes or else it’s always dark. “Ma’am”, I heard a very gentle female voice. I opened my eyes and asked the person, “Yes… who is it?” I raised my hand and felt a warm and soft hand in my grip. “I am a nurse, ma’am… and I am here to give you your food”, she told me in a gentle tone and I smiled. “Thank you”, I said and then sat up in my place. I could now make movements without help and it was a good thing for me. For the last ten months, I was completely dependent on Demitry and I didn’t know how much hindrance I was in his work. The nurse asked me to open my mouth and I opened my mouth. The nurse made small talks with me all the time she fed me. I told her about my work. She was curious to know about my work line. I told her to go through my web page that she told me that she would after feeding me. I was glad that there were still people out there in the world who wanted to know about wildlife photography. That was when I realized that I didn’t talk with Demitry about my working condition. Of course, I signed a contract with him for the next two years. According to the contract that he read for me, we both would wed soon after getting discharged from the hospital. I had to remain as his wife for two years and had to be present in front of the world and his family as his wife. However, he excluded everything related to the real deal of this relationship. So, I would be his nominal wife. He would help me in getting my revenge on Warrick and Valerie and whoever had done wrong with me and my mother. In exchange, I would help him get what he wanted. I decided to ask him about my work as I was willing to resume my work too. I also needed to work if I wanted to pay back to him for everything that he had done for me. Of course, I could pay the money, not the hardship and also the emotional support that he gave to me all these months. “You started thinking again?” I heard his voice and my mood immediately lit up. “Will you stay with me tonight?” I suddenly asked him. I didn’t know why I ask him but I felt this urge to stay with him before going for the operation. "Mariam... everything will be okay. You are not going to die", I heard his irritating tone and I didn't know why but I felt liquid in my eyes this time. He was harsh on me a few times in the past but I couldn't bear his tone right now. I lowered my head and then lay down on the bed. To be honest, I didn't want to stay alone because I was really scared. My mom always stayed with me the whole night whenever I was scared in the past. "Mariam", I heard him again but didn't reply immediately. I lifted my head and smiled weakly. "It's okay... I am fine", I said only to make him comfortable. "You are not fine", I heard him saying again in the same tone. "I said I am fine. I should sleep now. The nurse gave me all the medicines", I wanted to cry but not in front of him and that was why I wanted this conversation to end here. I pulled the cover over me and closed my eyes. I knew that if he saw me sleeping, he would go back. There was no movement inside the room. It meant that he was still inside the room. I didn't open my eyes again. Suddenly I felt a dip beside me on the door and then felt his hand slid under my neck and then he pulled me closer to him. His familiar manly scent immediately filled my nostrils and I inhaled sharply. This was the first time that he lay down beside me and I immediately wrapped my hand around his torso. I could hear his heartbeat as my head was exact over his heart. I was never been with any other man than Warrick in the past. This was the first time that I was laying beside any other man than Warrick and I didn't feel awkward. I felt safe and content. "Mariam", I heard him after I didn't know how much time. I hummed in response and snuggled more into him. I could feel the toughness of his body against my face and my body. "You said that you will kiss me when you will see me", he said and I blushed again. I knew that he couldn't see me as I had my face on the other side of his chest. "Yeah... so", I asked him shyly. "You didn't mean that right?" he asked me in a low tone and I frowned. Was I so disgusting now that he even didn't want me to kiss him? I lifted my head up and moved my face towards him. It was not like I would be able to see him by doing this. "Hey... why are the tears in your eyes?" he immediately asked me and then cupped my face. "A.... am I that ugly now that even you don't want me to kiss you?" I uttered those words in a painful voice. I already had imagined my ugly face but I was not sure that I was ready to see the disgust and pity in Demitry's eyes. "Who told you that you are ugly?" he asked me in confusion. "No one told me... I was not beautiful before and after...(I paused as I was choked on my voice now)... that incident... I am sure that I have become the ugliest", I said in a bitter tone and lowered my eyes. I didn't want him to see me crying but I couldn't help it. Suddenly he pulled my face up and my breath hitched when his hot breath fanned my face. I was sure that we were so close now. My heart started racing against my rib cage by now. Suddenly I felt something very soft and warm on my lips and I gasped. I closed my eyes as I clutched his shirt harder. He was kissing me lightly and gently as if I was of glass and would break if he put pressure on my lips. "You are beautiful, Mariam... don't ever think like that again", he whispered into a threatening voice and I smiled shyly this time.
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