chapter 5

5000
Me: nope not yet still kinda avoding you know and I don’t know Ashley: we also have to talk about getting my room  Me: no okay you can’t  Ashley: Liz I take up all of the bed cause I move a lot okay and your let me sleep in here that  not going to hold onto him from coming  Me: yeah but maybe for a while untill I think of something just anything you could help  Ashley: I have this thing were I would like to stay out peolpe love life  The door to my room open I was suprised to see Kaley here in front of room I didn’t like that b***h therfor why she in my house  Kaley: oh your dad didn’t tell you were dating now  She handed me the files of the s**t she has one me and it was over not really  Ashley: this is what she had on you  Me: nothing now and that it but she dating my dad  Ashley: okay was this why you breaking up with him  Me: no okay  My dad came by my door he was dressed in a black dress shrit and pants and dress shoes therefor it was true he was going on a date with the sea witch what the heck  Dad: Liz I want to talk with you about it but in the morning I’ll drive you to school    Me: no i’m good have fun on your date and I don’t need a ride I have a bike therefor you can go  He walked out and I closed the door Ashley looked at me like I was in the wrong she didn’t say anything I handed her the floder full of stuff  Ashely: you had a miscariage after going to a abort place the week before but not doing anything also you killed a person  Me: yeah she way dying and told me to let her just go and she asked me to kill her he couldn’t find out about this I went to bed the next morning  Dad: Liz you were with a baby and you miscarried I didn’t know  I was shoke he work me uo with this bullshit after dating the devil and he tells me that bullshit  Me: what are you talking about  I then notice the file that he had on the f*****g tabek who gave him the f*****g folder ugh I will kill that person  Me: where the hell did you get that from  Sebastain: I found it in your room  Me: why you go in my room  Sebastain: I was worride about you  Me: what was there to worry about i’m fine next time you think about going in my room don’t  Dad: let talk about everything  Me: I don’t want to talk about anything to you to okay y’all are useless okay your datinga b***h and Sebastain your just that creepy teacher  I rolled my eyes and then walked out the door I’m not dealing with this s**t and going to school at the sametime.I didn’t know were to go can’t stay at home my dad dating the devil of Cail and Sebastain aren’t talking therefor I have nobody but Ashley right now wow they really have Luke calling my phone nope not going to happen okay I don’t know what I was going to do but I was going to school after I get my drink from Starbucks I rode my bike to the nearest Starbucks in town and then I went to the Starbucks. Starbucks worker: hello how are you what can I get you today  Me: I’m good Starbucks worker: what could I get you would you like to try a pumpkin spice drink  Me: yeah I guess  Starbucks: okay can I get your name  Me: Lizzie  She wrote Liza on the cup Liza what the f**k my name is Lizzie how did they make Lizzie into Liza can they explain that to me I sat at the table with my coffee cake I also order then they called .. me I mean Liza I took my coffee and cake and then put it on my bike and then I got up on petal and then the other went up and I stand to the way I petal when I got back home I rushed back upstairs  Dad: Liz we need to talk  Me: why are you still dating the devil in pitch voice  Dad: yes if you’re talking about Kaley then yes I am   Me: then we don’t have anything to talk about you know goodbye dad I have to get ready for school  Dad: okay but we will talk while I drive you to school  Me: no okay I’m fine I have this thing where I don’t listen to liars you know cause you never know when they will lie again you know yeah I’ll take my bike  I rushed up the stairs bang one leg up and then slam down the next and then bang again to the another I went up to the stop at my room Ashley was on my room  Ashley: okay you get in the shower and I will pick your outfit I’m talking a car ride you can bike ride but did you get my cake  I handed it to her and then left to go into the bathroom when I walked in the bathroom when I got in there I open the door Sebastain was there and he dropping  Sebastian: s**t  Me: sorry Ashley didn’t tell me anyone was in here  I just rushed out of there that was embarrassing in many ways why would Ashley not say anything I was going to kill her  Ashley: what up  Me: you knew he was in there why didn’t you say anything  Ashley: what was I supposed to say  Me: you could have gave me a head up like Liz there somebody in the bathroom you know I would have done the same to you now Ashley you think everything a joke okay get the f**k out of my room now  Ashely: Liz don;t be like that  Me: no I mean it get out now okay I don’t care if you stay in another room   She walked out the room and then I stayed in my room I can’t believe she got in the middle of all this was between me and Sebastain and with the lie that bring up rise with my dad it bringing something when I was depressed I show signs of anger and deceiving and sadness there was a knock on my room door I hope it wasn’t my dad I opened it slow  Sebastian: hey are you okay  Me: YES I’M f*****g FINE NOW f**k OFF  There was anger coming out and then I slammed the door I wasn’t in the mode to deal with that s**t I in bed today was not the day I was laying in bed then there was another knock on the door ugh why the f**k are these asshole come after me  Dad: Liz get ready for school  Me: or what you’ll lie to me just f**k OFF OLD MAN  I slammed the door on him I didn’t have time for his bullshit either and then I thought about how he lied to me about my mother I thought about it more I took out my PJ and then put it on and then closed all the shades and now it was dark in there I laid in bed slow and there was thinking about how I would never have a mom to tell me about aunt Flow or talk about boys even If It was about Sebastain but she could have took M to a mother-daughter sleepover or dance I never had a mother for all of those girl happy moment and then I cried into my pillow and yelled there was to much bullshit that happened to me I would take back everything just to get her in my life be there for me be my mom like Luke got her and speaking of the devil  *Luke: hey dad said you were going back to being your depression  *Me: yeah it does when you find out that you kill your mother than yeah I have that right  *Luke s**t you know about that  *Me: wait you knew and didn’t tell me you’re more f****d up than him f**k you, Luke  I hung up on my brother who take after our dad I hope i’m like my mom there was anything I could know about her my mom name was Jane Blake I know about my Blake's family and my family past my grandmother Sahvanna-star the daughter of gangster and writer Lion and Mal Blake my family was from New York ,Miami my family one my mom side there was a better life my family have had and then there me I read the books my great-grandmother Mal wrote well co-wrote her husband my great-grandfather Lion well real name Noah wrote but I never knew much about my besides there was nothing I was going to get out of my dad about her If he lied to me for 14 years he going to be lying now I would have to go to the south deep of cail and find her there I don’t get how a family from New york end up in Miami and then Cail my family justed moved to move there no clue right there who but it weird I have bunch of question for my grandmother like what was her parents like who took after the gang and all that but more about my mom and things that nobody can tell me about her when I got downstairs with my bag being pack going on 10:00 everyone should be gone most likely my dad went with Kaley but when I got downstairs I wasn’t completely alone  Sebastian: hey what in the bag  Me: why are you even here okay one Sebastain: well Ashley informed me that your depression phases when you get sad and in the drop about something  Me: I’m fine out I don’t need you to tell me what I am your not my dad and then my dad an lying asshole  Sebastian: I want to help you  Me: If you did wait answer this did you know I killed my mom  Sebastain: you didn’t kill her your dad did explain anything  Me: forget okay with you the help is the private teacher talks we have  Sebastain: where are you going can I come along Me: no okay cause I don’t need you okay your just someone I live and that all  I grabbed my bag and then held everything in my hand while riding my bike well I ‘ll leave it here cause I will be at the bus now there no way I’ll be able to get Sebastian from following me that when he at the front door with me  Sebastian: where are you going  Me: out why does it matter where I’m going  Sebastian: okay where to and why do you need a bag to go out  Me: I need clothing you know what If I need for anything   Sebastian: where are you going your dad a cop  Me: I know there no point of telling you cause there no point of telling you’re there nothing about you that I should use your  help your nothing to me  Sebastian: okay where are you going well where are we going, Liz  Me: were not going anywhere okay I have to go somewhere  I waited for my uber I looked around there was  I looked at him there was no way that Sebastain was in this with me cause I’m done with him and I should know I need Me: there was no need for your help, okay all your going to do is help my dad Sebastian: Lizzie I would never okay I’m not always on your dad side I told him that he should have told you at a before truth I knew s**t like this would have happened and he told me not to tell how you find out I know he didn’t tell you therefore how  Me: that should not   After a few days things have been going well everyone was getting ready for the holiday break next week a with only three days left teacher giving out packets and other shit There was no fun in any of this I just wanted to go home  Mr.Jackson: okay I want you guys to write why we should or should not have winter break packets with a group of four I will let y’all chose the group the group with the best essay will win  It was easy me and Ashley and Samantha rushed to each other I had many reason for why we should have break packets but not why we shouldn’t and Victoria was on our team to I was okay with her now  Victoria: reason number one we get to hang out with our family not like I would hang out with mines  Me: umm I was kinda thinking we should do why we should get homework Ashley now we If we do that were going to win cause your on our team and Samatha: yeah like we already have this in the bag  Me: well I’m stepping out of this contest  Ashley: what you can’t you're the only reason you I pass in this class I’m getting a C at least  Me: what you cheat off of me that it I’m done I can lose this grade and not care you guys are on your own  I walked back to my seat and I pulled  out a book and started to read there is no way In hell that I was letting them take any grades off of me any more I as I was reading there was a shadow hovering over me I started to slow and lower my voices Me: what do you want Mr.Jackson Is there anything I can help you with  Mr.Jackson: you could do the work Eilzbeth you know  Me: yeah but what the fun in that but I could be really funny Sebastain you know  Mr.Jackson: believe me I know but you have to do work  When everyone one was done I was now on my phone and looking at picture on i********: there was no way In hell that I should be in here for another hour while I was look Mr.Jackson: Eilzbeth would you come up here and share your essay  Me: I didn’t do an essay and you know that but I’ll say what on my my mind  I got up from my seat and then with one big smile on my face and there was many hell a lot of s**t I was going to say  Me: oaky why do we need break most of you lied and said for playing games and sleeping in and partying and hanging out when really It about being f****d yes what all you hoes and f**k boys are going to stick your d**k into something and you girls will do anything to get a boy to do anything for you  Mr.Jackson: that enough Elizabeth I will see you after class  Me: okay fine you're the one that wanted me to share did you not  I smiled and went back to my seat and then I sent Sebastain a text I wanted to know If this Is a punishment wise or sexually wise I raised my hand  Mr.Jackson: yes Elizabeth  Me: can I go to the bathroom or is that wrong that I said that  Mr.Jackson ( mumbled) omgosh I don’t get paid enough with you   Me: yeah I know  I grabbed my stuff cause I was going home and there was no ways no way in hell that I wasn’t going to deal with him there was no way that I wasn’t going to deal with Sebastain being a cute d**k in school to me It cute in all but no before I walked out the door the bell ranged before I was leaving everyone was pushing I just moved over to the desk and sat on it and then when everyone left  Me: what the plan now like I’m going to to sit here forever like that give a bit boring  you know It just the two of us here for an two hour like there nothing that you can think about doing with me  Mr.Jackson: nope nothing please take a seat Ms.Stone Me: fine be like that  I walked slowly tomy seat and rolled and huff when I got to my seat when I got there and sat down I put my feet  up on the desk and then removed my panties off of me there and slingshot it out him  Sebastain: oh f**k it Liz  Me: what the hell what do you want from me like there no reason you should be calling me like you don’t want me sexually what do you want  Mr.Jackson you never think that you are more than an body to me Liz  Me: blob blob blob I get It you dated good for you now what dose that have to do with me Eilabeth listen Sebastain you don’t own me you can’t just say that you want me then don’t like don’t like Tommy Jones just hit me up for date maybe he will know after this text I sent him that I don’t want to date him I just want a f**k buddy don’t get me wrong you were never my f**k buddy I just know that the only because you contuine to be like this is soon going piss you off about us  I know that you willleave me therefor Sebastian: what Is this like a break up  Me: yeah It Is because at the end of the day I can’t give you what you want Sebastian  Sebastian: you are what I want  Me: you say that but I know It not you should be leaving life not wait or me I feel like later on or even now you will hate me for It and I would want you to hate me now for doing this than later when you waited for me and If all that waiting has didn’t anything then  Sebastian: and what If I don't want to break up with you  Me: well It the right thing to do because we don’t know what the right thing how about a two day break will see how we both feel after that  The Victoria and Samatha and Ashley walked In they could see the weirdness In the class I didn’t say anything I just went back on my phone cause I just felt like I don’t know right now Ashley: we need to take Lizzie  Me: can I go  Mr.Jackson: yeah go I have no reason to keep you hear any more  I didn’t say anything to him and then walked out why did they need me right now okay I did feel for Sebastian right now he was hurt when I said a break and then I don’t know  Me: what do you need me for  Ashley: Victoria tell her  Victoria: we had to get you out of there we have a sleepover to get ready for tonight  Me: and why should I go come Ashley: cause you need to let loses okay what ever the f**k Is going to happend in there was like so werid  Victoria: agree but come on you need a break okay Liz we use to be sister and friend before me dating your brother thing come on I want to go back to that  Me: well well we are friendly now I don’t know If we can go back like that fast but okay to the sleepover  Victoria: okay I’ll drive and we will pick out outfits since you and Ashley live together It will be easy okay well the driving bit was okay Victoria can drive when we went upstairs In my clueless like house when we got to my room she went right to my closet and then looked at everything   Victoria: well okay that hoodie dress pack It okay but the white one not the black one okay and the looses beach white dress and the cupcake pj pants and the shirt with the navy blue crop top and for Ashley let go to her room  We walked to her room and then Victoria looked at her closet all our face went down this was what she were when she not In school wow  Me: okay let start with the man t-shirt  for bed and then outfit tomorrow that rip jeans and a white crop top and then that oversize shirt and then skinny jeans  Victoria: okay now we have to go to Samthaan house  Samatha: no Liz can I just take some stuff In your room  She took the thing first thing she seen In my room and then we left that when my dad came In I went and got a snack from the kitchen and then when he came up to me and then as I bit In my apple and then sat It down  Dad: what are you doing here Sebastian said you had detention Victoria: he let her out early  Dad: your doing well Victoria  Victoria: yeah I know  Me: dad were having a sleepover at Victoria  Dad: okay just call me every hour okay I know you are  Me: really no  Dad: same for you Ashley Ashley: okay will do  Me: dad how about every 3  Dad: 2  Me: 3  Dad: how about this Luke and Sebastian  will be here just call In to them Me: okay thanks dad  I game him a hug and then went and put my stuff In Victoria car trunk and then she started to drive and then I thought that I should drive because she can but I also feel like she will kill us  Me: hey Victoria I should drive then you can snap the whole drive  Victoria: okay yeah we can to that  There was a bet then me just not getting killed in the a car ride and then she was telling me I have many things I want to do In life like have kids but knowing that I may not have kids and even If I can’t I want to give someone the gift of a parent but I have to go get a tested tomorrow I ‘m just worried and scared of what will they will say I remember where she lived and then when we got there I greeted her parents when we got her room which didn’t change she still had that big queen bed and the couch   Me: okay tomorrow  I have to go some where can’t say where but I have to go Victoria: okay but you know you didn’t have to say Hi to my parents  Ashley: It a Lizzie thing she dose and we tried to talk her out of It but no  Lizzie: It just how I am  Victoria: you can also take the car  Me: thanks you I went into the bathroom and changed into my cupcake pj pants and the crop top and then wiped off all the make uo all off my face and then did my hair and tird mwy hair up and then walked out there was wine coolers and I looed at It like I don’t know why the hell It was there  Me: what Is that for and  I’m not drinking any that  Victoria: come on Liz just one okay just one at that  Ashley: Liz also dosen’t drink and she did It once but at the party Me: okay I will drink one wine cooler okay I wait I can’t  Victoria: dose this have to do with the place you have to go tommrow  Me: yeah and I don’t know If I can drink  Victoria: okay well i guess we can drink tommrow  Me: yeah we can drink tommrow I mean it  I went on the couch and then went to sleep and then It was going to sleep because I can’t get there going to say about me like they could say you can still have kid but It will be hard to get a baby or you could never been kids or your can have kids when I got up nobody was up and then I went  to the bathroom and I went In washed my hair and then washed up and then when I got up I put my robe on and then I dried my hair and then flaten It and then curled the end of it and then put on the losses white beach dress and then I put on strap high heel from Victoria closet then that when Victoria slowley got up   Victoria: oh your leaving now  Me: yeah I told you I had to go right  Victoria: to where your taking my car I need to no at least  Me: to a fertilty place I may not be able to have kids  Victoria: why are you thinking about that now we have one more year In school and then  Me: I just wanted to know this why I didn’t wnat y’all to know cause It was like you guys would have said something about It and I don”t have time for It and then  Victoria: okay I’ll go with you  MeL get dress hurry When she was ready and then I started driving and then when I got to place and then an hour they called me I was In I had to pull my pants and then they checked me  Doctor: okay why are here Me: more pills and to check If I can have kids later on In my life  When it was done I looked at Victoria and then we went to the car and then I stared to drive and then she thought It  was the right time to talk about which I did not want to do  Victoria: okay what happend there we didn’t say anything  Me: okay when we get back I just want to drink out  Victoria: It can’t be that bad okay  Me: well for you because now I know that It going to be hard for me to have kids now and also I’m back on the pill  Victoria: oh but you can still have kids tho yes for you Me: yeah that good but It will be hard to have them and the guy that may be my baby dad  victoria : well who that be  Me: that something I can’t share with you yet okay  Victoria: yeah I get It okay  Me: I’m sorry but when we get back to how we were then I will let you  know who he Is  Victoria: okay can you at least tell me If he in our class or what his frist name Is or the letter  Me:Yes he Is and his name start with an S  Victoria: okay got It that It now we can go back and get drunk we git break and we can get drunk yesss  I didn’t like this cause I was never like that with the drinking but It happend and I just feel like I need It today and there no way I will ever do It again when we got back to her house her parents aren’t here and she told me that they will be gone the whole break there was a party she was having tonight and that I was keeping this outfit and then when many peolpe came witha keg and then I did a stand up keg an and hen I was having fun to be honest there when peolpe came they were suprise that I was here again at a party and then I drunk another bottle of wine and then keep drinking a keg and then one of the kids In my class came up to me If I wasn’t drunk I would have just left and now that I am I stayed and here the kid out  Me: hey  Sammy how are you  Me: yeah why we are In almost ever class together  Sammy pulled up her glasses and then looked at the ground this was awkward as we never talked before this encounter. Sammy and I said our goodbyes and I walked over to the kitchen I went to grab a water I needed to take a break from drinking.As I took a sip of my water I looked around the room.
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