Chapter Two: Sweet Surrender

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Avery made the short walk back to her apartment in haste, not caring about the strange looks she got from her neighbors as she rode the elevator with them in silence. She was done with propriety. She’d had a s**t day, and no longer had the energy to hide it, letting the dejected look show plainly on her face. Now that she’d left the shop, she belatedly came to the realization that she may have missed an opportunity there. Even though he looked young, the chocolate maker was cute. She’d sworn off younger guys months ago, but that was when she thought she still had a shot with James - and most because he’d teased her relentlessly for dating ‘boys’ as he called them. They were only a handful of years younger than she and James were; the teasing stung at the time, but now she felt that it was an unfair assessment. Younger men could be mature, right? The chocolatier owned a successful business, it looked like. Assuming that was his shop, anyway. Why did she have to open her big mouth like that? She groaned audibly as she got off the elevator, causing her neighbors - a couple in their mid twenties - to give each other a concerned look. She didn’t pay them any mind, but did hurry toward her apartment; let them judge. They couldn’t possibly be more judgemental of her than she was of herself. Like many downtrodden business women, Avery lived in a high rise. Her condo had a reasonably good, if partially obstructed, view of The Park, and a wholly unobstructed view of the trash bins in the alleyway between her building and the next. While the city had many small parks dotted throughout the various neighborhoods, all the locals knew what you meant by ‘The Park.’  Darcingtowne Promenade was the jewel of the city. It was a park so large that in certain, heavily treed areas, you might even forget you were in the city at all. There was even a restaurant in the middle of the park, a beautiful turn of the century greenhouse that featured fine ornate iron work, and had been repurposed as a tea house before changing hands again and being converted into a fine dining establishment. Avery had always wanted to eat at the Tavern on the Promenade, but refused to go on her own. It was the kind of place you went for a date. Avery kicked her first heel off as soon as she got inside, wobbling a bit as it went whizzing into the hallway wall before clattering to the ground. She grimaced at the scuffy dent the shoe’s impact had left in the wall, and put her stockinged, now shoeless foot down. She slid the second shoe off with significantly less fanfare. Her feet finally free, she sat heavily down on the bench by her door, resting the boxes of chocolate beside her. She wiggled her toes, then brought one up into her lap so she could give her poor foot a much deserved rub. Heels, while not strictly required for her job, gave the impression she was shooting for - so she wore them, despite how painful they were. Her bra was much the same; she wouldn’t wear one at all if she had the choice. She much preferred to let it all hang loose in oversized pajamas, but pajamas weren’t office appropriate. After finishing her self-administered foot rub, she went to her room to change. Like the rest of her apartment, which looked like it was modelled on the pages of a modern interior design magazine with clean lines and very little in the way of fussy details, her bedroom was done in a similar Scandinavian style that focused on a neutral color palette and a mix of strong industrial fixtures contrasted by warmer, softer natural textures.  While most of her closet was taken up with rows of shoes, pants, skirts, blouses, jackets and coats that were all arranged by color, her chest of drawers was stuffed to bursting with pajamas. She poked around her long, wooden chest of drawers trying to decide what kind of pajamas she was in the mood for, before settling on pink and white striped cotton bottoms and a matching button down pajama top. She sighed happily as she peeled off her work clothes, finally relaxing now that her breasts were no longer being pushed into unnatural perkiness, and she could slide on pants that had a flexible elastic waistband.  She lay back on her bed, rubbing the tender undersides of her breasts where the underwire had started to dig in through the soft cotton  cloth.  She had a comfortable bed, with a fluffy white comforter and sheets, and a chunky knit blanket to wrap herself in. It just wasn’t the same as being wrapped in the warm arms of a warm, handsome man. Her heart throbbed painfully at her imagination fed her thoughts of how it would feel to be held in the circle of James’ arms, and Avery swallowed hard as she fought down the choking sensation that rose into her throat when the reality set in that it was someone else who would get to enjoy his tender affections. Avery forced herself up, unwilling to give in to the pain, and went to the kitchen. Her kitchen was small, but didn’t feel it; it opened up onto the rest of her living space - which included a six person dining table, and living room with a dark grey linen L-shaped sofa that faced a flat screen television. The television hung above a gas fireplace that was there more for looks; she’d never even turned it on, though she kept the remote for it on her coffee table by the one for the tv. The space was small, but generous enough for a single woman living in one of the better parts of town. She even had a second bedroom with a jack and jill door leading into the guest bathroom - though that was mostly used as a home office. “Jeeves, play chill lo-fi mix.” she called to her smart device as she went to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of champagne that she’d left there the day before, and unscrewed its cork.  The music started up, a comforting piano melody with a gentle beat and the flickering sound of rain interspersed every so often with the faint ring of wind chimes.  At the time, leaving a bottle of champagne hadn’t felt like a sad thing; it’s not like she went in thinking she would fail in her attempt to get a date. She was hoping that the bottle now in her hand would be one that she and James would share at the end of a romantic night on the town. But, a small part of her also thought she ought to put it there just in case things didn’t go well. That’s the kind of person she was; she always had a back up plan. Even her back up plans had back up plans, she realized, as she went to grab her boxes of chocolates. From the way the underwire of her bra had started bothering her, she knew she probably shouldn’t eat two hundred plus bucks worth of sweets all in one go, but it’s not like she didn’t have the time to spend hoofing it off in the park. She slumped onto the sofa with her bottle and her sweets, setting the bottle down on the coffee table as she looked at the little bag that was on top of the stack gluttonous goodies.  The floral clip holding the bag shut sparkled faintly in the dying light of the evening sun that was still filtering in through the large windows to each side of her central fireplace wall. A chill ran through her as she gazed at it; it was  like a jewel laying just on top of the dragon’s hoard, luring in adventurers who were unaware that the dragon lay in wait just under the pile. But, it was just a clip after all. There was nothing ominous about it. She took the clip, and slid it back into her hair. She’d originally thought the flower was made of glass, but it wasn’t - it was too light to be glass. Maybe some kind of plastic? But it was so sparkly. Prismatic even. She smiled a little, then slid her hand into the bag to withdraw her first sweet of the night. She took a swig of her champagne, which fizzed pleasantly as it ran down her throat, and popped the chocolate into her mouth.  The taste was even more overwhelming to her refined palette than the smell of the chocolate shop had been to her delicate nose. She felt a warmth grow in the pit of her belly as she chewed, then swallowed, her vision filled with stars that burst like fireworks in glorious shades of electric blue and white. Maybe it wasn’t as good as s*x, but it was pretty close. And it was only the first one! She curled up comfy and warm under a white wholecloth quilt picked out with a swirling, ocean-like pattern in gradiated threads of blue and purple, and continued gorging herself on decadent sweets and champagne late into the night. Her mood only became more morose as the hour grew late.  After reaching the end of the first box of chocolates she couldn’t hold herself together any more, and little tears started streaming down her cheeks. Chocolates just couldn’t fill the hole inside her where the void of loneliness lived. And it was like a void, swallowing up every good feeling until the loneliness was all that remained.  “I  wish I had someone to share these with…” she whispered to the void as her eyes slowly drooped, and finally closed.
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