Naughty December (english version)

3. Come or Go?

     Recalling all the memories Yoanna lived through during that time was enough to punish Yoanna for her low self-esteem. This time Yoanna really accepted the fact that she had done it again since the name Arga appeared. Yoanna seems to need Arga and begins to obey the man's desire to meet, enjoy the atmosphere of togetherness and other intimate things even though Yoanna refuses to have s*x.

     Today. After the date, Yoanna removed Arga's earrings and expensive accessories from her body, then high heels and all her clothes. Because Yoanna felt her body heat up with all traces of Arga's gentle touch. While waiting for the warm water, Yoanna began to inhale the distinctive aroma of tobacco from her finger. Inhaling and then his breath poured cigarette smoke into the free air in the kitchen. But Yoanna immediately extinguished the burning tip of the cigarette when Shaila's voice came from inside the room. Yoanna turned off the stove and ran to Shaila's room. Shaila begins to be delirious.

     "Oh hey," Yoanna caught Shaila's frightened body, "what's wrong Sweety? Mommy is here."

     "Mommy..." Shaila moaned in between half-conscious.

     Yoanna was persistent in helping Shaila wake up and she carried her little daughter's body. Yoanna's feet were trying here and there to repeat the habit of rocking Shaila when she woke up from a bad dream.

     "Mom, I'm scared."

     "Shhh, yes Sweety. Mommy is here, right. You can't be afraid anymore, okay? Miss Superman is not afraid, you have to be strong!" sure Yoanna put Shaila back on the bed again.

     After Shaila calmed down a bit and fell asleep again, Yoanna continued to clean herself and then finished her work in the dark room. In a room measuring 4x4 square meters, Yoanna manipulates images. Yoanna does the manual method for the black and white photography process. The color process, which required more expensive and extravagant equipment, Yoanna had to do it with great care.

     First, Yoanna washes the film and then prints the photos she took that day. With manual creativity and adequate darkroom procedures, Yoanna always delivers satisfying photos.

     "Huft.. ," Yoanna breathed the air of freedom because one task today was done. “Finally got this result, even though lately my hands have been too lazy to hold the camera. Surely the boss is happy, do you think I can get another debt or not? I can't rob Arga anymore, he might ask for a share."

     Yoanna's prints are stored in a special container, because tomorrow morning Yoanna has to show her professional results in front of her superiors. Then Yoanna will persuade the boss who is notoriously stingy to lend, because last Sunday all Yoanna's debts were paid off thanks to Arga. But today Yoanna must immediately redeem the recipe for Shaila.

[...]

     In the morning before Shaila left for school, Yoanna did not forget to prepare food and drinks. Today is Shaila's first day of elementary school. In fact, Yoanna really missed Shaila's first time at school and was escorted, then there Yoanna would still wait for Shaila until school was over. But this time Yoanna only entrusted everything to Shaila's nanny.

     "Don't forget this later, don't forget it! Then Shaila can't eat snacks, especially those near the highway, just keep an eye on it! Kima, don't play with your cell phone too much!" Yoanna suggested packing the food into a lunch box and then storing it in Shaila's bag.

     Shaila's favorite menu was complete until finally Yoanna grabbed a piece of Kima's fried banana on the dining table and put it in her mouth. Yoanna hastily swallowed the fried food and took a sip of her coffee. Yoanna did not forget to go to Shaila's seat which is next to the dining table, where Shaila stretched her arms to welcome Yoanna's body by kissing her cheeks and forehead.

     "Miss Superman is cute and beautiful.. ," Yoanna's palms played on Shaila's cheeks until Shaila's tiny lips pursed. "You go first, Sweety! Remember, you can't be naughty there, okay!"

     "Miss Shaila has never been naughty, Ma'am. Only her friends sometimes like to tease Shaila and make her cry." Kima said curtly, remembering Shila at school.

     Yes, Yoanna could not bear to see that beautiful face forced to smile. Moreover, during the farewell two weeks ago, Yoanna didn't have time to come because the company held an event. Yoanna had to bear the work, especially when she was appointed as the only photographer in charge of shooting. Even though Yoanna actually knows if Shaila wants to stay together but there is no other choice, Yoanna still has to work.

     "Ah, it doesn't matter, the important thing is that Shaila is okay, Sweety! Miss Superman must be strong!" Yoanna imitates Superman's burly hands showing his muscles up.

     "Yes, Mommy!" Shaila's face was plastered with joy with her hands saluting.

     Because it was too late, Yoanna immediately ran outside to drive her battered car. Because she was at war with time, Yoanna chose to speed up the car so she wouldn't be hit by Jakarta's more severe traffic jams. While playing music, Yoanna tried to contact Talitha. These days Talitha rarely goes to the office, let alone do a photo shoot. There is absolutely no news like being swallowed by the earth.

     The distance that Yoanna traveled to the office took two hours longer than usual. Then a group of Yoanna's energy and determination parked the car. There Yoanna saw Arga's car parked, then Yoanna approached the security guard.

     "How long has that car been parked there, sir?" Yoanna's index finger pointed to the flagpole.

     "Oh, Mr. Arga's car? It's been an hour, I think, ma'am. Why, ma'am?" The security guard asked curiously. Yoona shook her head.

     "It's okay sir, just asking. Thank you."

     "You're welcome, ma'am."

     Making assumptions is not Yoanna's forte and she doesn't want to know more about why Arga came to her office. Then Yoanna remembered that Arga was the boss' nephew. Yoanna has just entered the ground floor of a well-known magazine company in Indonesia.

     "Morning all." Yoanna's hand grabbed the coffee from her partner's grip.

     "Hi sexy, boss is waiting for you to check in." Yoanna gets teased by fellow photographers.

     Only Yoanna's first gave an answer to her friend. Yoanna immediately walked to the hallway where Yoanna's superior room was, then Yoanna took two satisfying photos from her bag. However, the doorknob did not become Yoanna's grip when she was about to enter because the door was slightly ajar, but from a small gap in the office door, Yoanna saw Arga's back.

     "What? Propose? Are you crazy, like not a woman, you want Yoanna!" Yoanna chose to remain silent without warning.

     Yoanna's body hid behind the half-opened door. "You don't know, do you? She already has children, Arga?" Yoanna's boss replied in an annoyed tone.

     "Yeah, I know she already has kids. But why? I have kids too, we can get through this together. Besides, I'm tired of being alone." Arga is annoyed. He took a quick sip of his drink.

     "Agh, never mind. Forget your intentions, it's useless! Yoanna is not a good girl, you don't know she's a w***e huh?" one hand pointed and Yoanna's boss pounded the table.

     Immediately Arga smiled lopsidedly, got up while rolling his shirt up to his elbows. And said, "everyone has a bad past! Only what we think is not good in the eyes of others. So, uncle doesn't bother telling me who Yoanna is! I also know I'm not a good person."

     "By the way, I don't agree with you and Yoanna!" shouted the burly man. Which is none other than Yoanna's boss.

     Arga no longer cares about his uncle's words. But when he opened the door and Yoanna was stuck there, Arga stopped walking. Arga felt that the hope that had just been awakened showed no signs when he saw Yoanna smiling a little. It was also apparent that Yoanna didn't want to go or meet his uncle.

     "Hey, have you been here for a long time?" Arga felt guilty and nervous at the same time.

     "About 10 minutes ago. I just didn't want to interrupt your conversation, so I'll wait a bit." Yoanna said as if she didn't care what happened today. Unexpectedly, Yoanna heard her boss calling.

     Then Yoanna tried to calm down and went straight to her boss, but she was surprised when Yoanna was given a brown envelope. Of course, Yoanna did not immediately accept the painful gift, because Yoanna saw the boss throw it right in front of her eyes.

     "That's your severance pay, Yoanna." Slowly the words came out, but Yoanna didn't understand.

     "Where are you going, sir? Paying severance pay?" Yoanna giggled casually.

     "Why are you using questions? Yes, you are now fired!" Yoona swallowed hard.

     "Fired? You know, but what did I do wrong, sir?"

     From behind Yoanna, it was seen that Arga stepped forward and did not agree with what his uncle said. However, the determination and intention of the company's leaders cannot be contested by anything.

     "What the hell? How did Yoanna get fired? What's wrong with that?" Arga continues to want clear certainty.

     The question was repeated without revealing the reason for Yoanna's severance pay. But without reducing Yoanna's respect for accepting reality, maybe it's time for Yoanna to let go of all this workload. Although at that time, Yoanna did not know how to get money for Shaila's living expenses and medicines.

     The bag containing the camera and other equipment on Yoanna's back was placed on her boss's desk. Then Yoanna's hands were very heavy to accept the money, but Yoanna couldn't ignore the large amount of money that looked inside the brown envelope.

     "Thank you sir! I apologize for any mistakes I didn't or intentionally make." short, Yoanna gave an answer and then left. Arga's hand immediately prevented Yoanna from leaving.

     Then Arga shook his head so that Yoanna would not receive the severance pay, but Yoanna no longer knew the limits of her self-esteem because she had to quickly redeem medicine and vitamins for Shaila.

     "It's okay, I know this condition Arga. I never felt angry at you at all, we are friends." Despite being miserable, Yoanna tries to be strong.

     At every step towards the exit, Yoanna heard the ramblings of Arga's uncle. All prejudices arise because Yoanna just took the money in the envelope. To be honest, Yoanna wanted to throw that amount away, but Yoanna wasn't the one to insult her. It was enough that Yoanna had taken a big responsibility in fixing everything. Yoanna didn't want to know how high her dignity was today because Shaila's condition was more important.

     On the way home, Yoanna seemed happy because today and two days before leaving for Germany, Yoanna could spend a lot of time with Miss Superman. Although Yoanna's life was very bitter, but Yoanna had to look strong in front of Shaila, pretending to smile happily in her six years of suffering.

[...]

     All the plants in the backyard are ready. Yoanna fixed it again because the orchids were not cared for, Yoanna didn't have the talent to divide her time to take care of the plants because Yoanna was busy looking for extra money for Shaila. While waiting for Shaila to wake up, Yoanna and Kima cleaned up to arrange a simple garden in the yard. Then the sound of the sedan stopped in front of Yoanna's yard.

     "Miss Thalita has just appeared, ma'am." Kima was too lazy to stop commenting when her head looked up to find out from behind the parapet.

     "Yes, I know," Yoanna just wanted Thalita to meet her behind the house. "Please make a drink, Kima! Just tea!"

     "Yes ma'am, this is the fertilizer." Kima answered while standing carrying fertilizer beside Yoanna.

     "Yes, put it down! Thank you, Kima." from a distance, Kima did not hear Yoanna's voice and it made Yoanna chuckle.

     Although Thalita's footsteps were heard approaching, Yoanna kept silent so that Thalita sat next to Yoanna and helped arrange the small pots on the other row of plant shelves.

     "Tomorrow we will go Yoanna, just..." Thalita interrupted.

     "What?" was most unpleasant when Yoanna was given a glimpse of the chatter by someone else.

     "Hm... They want you to show the results first, because it turns out that the company my boss works for has a spectacular photographer, Yo. They're already professionals." It seems that Thalita is waiting for Yoanna's opinion.

     "Am I not a professional huh?" Yoanna immediately cut the hanging leaves.

     "That's not it," Thalita's face wrinkled. "Because their company is famous, there are a lot of great photographers out there. But I'm sure you can be a part of them. Your shots are just as good."

     "Yeah, I'll see you later. If you accept it, I'll continue, if it's rejected, maybe it's not my luck." never give up, but Yoanna doesn't want to be pessimistic before taking a step.

     "By the way, coming here so early? You don't take care of your husband?" Yoanna teased Thalita who kept expecting her sister-in-law to be her lover.

     Thalita hit Yoanna's head with a stalk that had been cut and was no longer useful. "I've had an affair. And he's no less okay."

     "Who's he?" Yoanna's spirit burned because Thalita finally realized. Thalita smiled from dreaming.

     "You'll find out soon enough. He'll be our boss in Germany."

     "Ah s**t! The end of the dream too." Thalita is crazy about men.

     "What are you praying for? Let's see if I happen to be with cute Zhain, I will be proud of you." Thalita swore as she put the pots in a row on the shelf.

     Yoanna raised her face. "Who is Zain?"

     "I'll introduce you later. His name is Jamie Oliver Zhain, a big boss at a television company in Germany." replied the real Thalita.

     That name. Yoanna slightly remembered that she had heard the name before, but Yoanna wasn't very good at knowing where the name came from. Although familiar to the ear, Yoanna was too lazy to remember, let alone guess.