Georgia Peach - Book One

Chapter 1 - Heartache

I slip on a lacy black halter top while gazing at myself through the reflection in the mirror, "Oh, you should wear that top; I love it," Lacy blurts out while sitting on my bed, flipping through a magazine.

"You think so? Aaron generally doesn't like me to wear stuff like this." I respond as I brush the fabric down against my skin, wrinkling my nose as I realize the fabric is a little scratchy for my taste.

She snorts, "Who cares what Aaron thinks?"

I glance down at my engagement ring, taking my thumb and rolling it around my ring finger, "Well, I do. I guess. He is my fiancé, after all."

She sighs audibly and shakes her head from side to side as she continues to flip through the magazine. Lacy has been my best friend since seventh grade. She lives directly behind me; her backyard backs up to my backyard.

Aaron is my fiancé; he just proposed to me a couple of weeks ago. We've been together since my sophomore year of high school. The three of us attend the same college, The University of Cincinnati. Aaron is pre-med, Lacy studies marketing while I'm in nursing school.

She glances down at her watch, "Girl, you are gonna make us late," she says with an irritated tone as she gets up from the bed, stands beside me, and checks herself out in the mirror.

I enviously gaze at her figure as she stands there, turning side to side. She's the girl that every girl loves to hate, and every guy wants to f**k. She has long, wavy auburn hair, green eyes, perfect teeth, and a body to die for. As if it matters what she wears because the girl is smokin hot in anything, she's wearing a low-cut black see-through halter top and a red mini skirt with black stiletto heels. I wish I could wear something like that. I'd never feel comfortable wearing something as revealing as she does, but she's fearless that way, "Well, okay, let me get my boots on, and we can go. Aaron will pick us up here in about fifteen minutes."

I walk over to my closet to fish out a pair of black boots, completing my ensemble of a black halter top with a blue jean skirt; I quickly slip them on. Afterward, Lacy and I trudge downstairs to wait for Aaron to pick us up.

As we pass by the kitchen, Mom is rinsing the dishes, "Hey, Mom. We are gonna leave here shortly to go to a party. I'll be back tonight," I tell her as I adjust my halter top to cover my bosom.

Mom appears to be a little irritated as she disapprovingly eyes my outfit, "You are going to a party dressed like that?"

I look down at my clothes, "Yeah, why?"

"It's a little too sexy and revealing for a girl who is engaged to be married. That's just my opinion." She blurts out before passive-aggressively turning away from us to vigorously scrub the dish in her hand.

Lacy and I turn to look at each other, mouths gaping, eyes wide, "Well, I'll be with Aaron tonight, so no worries." I choke out.

Mom doesn't respond, so I reluctantly approach her, giving her a peck on the cheek as she continues rinsing the same dish. I know she's got a ton she'd like to say to me, but she won't.

Lacy and I stroll into the living room where my stepdad, Chuck, is sitting on the sofa. My biological father was killed in a motorcycle accident when I was twelve, but I never knew him. Chuck raised me as his own from day one; he's the only father I've ever known. Mom began to date Chuck when she was still pregnant with me. My Mom is a successful real estate agent, and Chuck is a mortgage broker. That's how they met through business interactions. "Hey Dad, we are going to a party. See you later."

He glances back at us, "Bye, sis, see ya. Bye Lacy. You girls be careful. "

"Okay, bye." Lacy timidly waves her hand.

We strut out to the front porch to wait for our ride. A few moments go by, and Aaron pulls up in his red Camaro, impatiently honking his horn. Lacy and I dash for the car, meeting him on the road; she gets in first. "What up, dude?" She greets him while crouching down to climb in the backseat.

"Hey Lace," He replies as his eyes linger a little longer than usual at her as she adjusts her skirt. I pretend not to notice where his eyes were drawn. As his eyes are diverted to me, his lip curls in disgust, "What the f**k are you wearing, Mariah?!"

I look down at my attire, trying to determine what is upsetting him so much, "Umm...What's wrong with it?"

"You know I f*****g hate it when you wear s**t that shows every mother fucker your goods, Mariah!" he barks.

I climb in the front seat of the car, "Sorry, I didn't think you'd mind since we are going to a party."

"Yeah? Well, I do! Are we engaged, or aren't we? You looking to get laid by someone other than me?"

Lacy interrupts, "Oh Christ! Would you two stop being such a drag?!"

His face turning red as a beat, he glares at us before speeding off down the road as he reaches down, turning the volume to the music on full blast—the vibration of the speakers piercing our ears as Nine Inch Nails plays.

I glance back at Lacy. She eyes me with a stony-faced expression, arms crossed in front of her, shaking her head side to side. Her eyes say it all; he's your problem, so deal with it, kind of look. I keep my mouth shut on the way there, keeping my head down and praying that Aaron doesn't flip out and embarrass me in front of everyone tonight.

We finally pull up at the frat house where the party is. I quickly climb out and move the seat forward for Lacy. Aaron comes around and heads right up to the party without saying a word, leaving us behind to fend for ourselves. Lacy and I hurry to catch up, walking behind him up the front porch. Once we weave through the crowds of people outside and enter through the front door, the music is so loud; I feel overcome with anxiety as if I want to crawl out of my skin the minute I walk in. There are crowds of people as far back as I can see in the house.

Aaron engages in conversation with a couple of his frat buddies the minute he walks in; he doesn't even acknowledge my presence near him. Lacy laces her fingers around my arm, "Let's go see what's going on back here." She suggests as she leads me to the back of the house through the back door.

We walk outside amongst the groups of people sitting around smoking and drinking. A familiar aroma lingers in the air, one that college kids know all too well – c******s. What else do you expect at a college frat party?

We grab two beers from the cooler outside and plop down on the empty porch swing. A couple of guys approach us, "Damn, you girls are fine. Want some company?" one of them asks.

Lacy shrugs, "I'm down, but my friend here is engaged."

"Ahh, too bad," The other one says.

The boys grab two lawn chairs and set them up on the porch next to us. Being overly flirty, Lacy engages in conversation with them for a bit; meanwhile, I stay silent. I wouldn't dare speak to them for fear of upsetting Aaron if he were to find me.

After a while, one of them asks Lacy, "Hey, you wanna go smoke one with us?"

She smiles, "Sure, why not."

She gets up before turning to look back at me, "You gonna be okay out here alone?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Go have fun," I tell her reassuringly as I wave her on.

She walks inside with them without looking back. I sit outside alone, wondering what I'm going to do with myself right now. I'm in nursing school, so I can't be caught with any drugs in my system. I couldn't even consider going with them even if I wanted to. Lacy is a marketing major; she doesn't have to worry about things like that. Not to mention Aaron would kill me if he caught me getting high with two strange guys.

Feeling uncomfortable and anxious, sitting alone on the swing, I decided to go inside and get in line to use the bathroom. I figured I'd have to go at some point during the night, might as well do it when I don't have any urgency. Walking down the hallway, stopping where the line starts, I'm taken back by what I see ahead of me. Lacy has Aaron pressed up against the wall, running her hands down his chest. He has his hands on her ass, leaning in to whisper something into her ear. Those two are way too cozy with each other for my liking. What the hell?! I stand there frozen in place, my entire body trembles. I can't move...I imagine myself running up to her, yanking her by the hair and slamming her ass to the ground. I imagine myself raising my fist and knocking Aaron's teeth down his throat, that son of a b***h! I can't move...I'm frozen.

Suddenly, Lacy spots me and immediately backs away from Aaron. He turns his attention to me, having a serious look on his face; he raises his hands, "Mariah...wait."

Fuck this! I turn and storm out of the house. He calls out behind me, "Mariah! Wait a minute, damn it!"

I hesitate for a moment out of the habit of listening to him as he barks orders at me. Wait, he doesn't get to order me around anymore! f**k that mother fucker! "No! Leave me alone!" I cry out.

I forcefully push through the crowds of people on the front porch and run down the street. Honestly, I'm not in the best of neighborhoods; I am alone and very vulnerable right now, but I don't give a s**t. I stop under a streetlight to fish through my purse, checking for my pepper spray. Feeling the bottle inside, I exhale audibly. Good! Just in case I need it. I briskly walk down the street, pulling up my contacts on my phone to call my Mom. There's no way I can get back in that car with them after what I witnessed. As I begin to dial my Mother's number, I'm startled by a hand on my arm, "We need to talk!"

Recognizing the voice is Aaron's, I spin around and violently pull my arm from his grip, "Yeah, I'd say we do!"

He leans over to catch his breath, "Well, why the f**k are you running then?" He asks, panting.

"Oh, excuse me for not knowing what the f**k to do with what I just saw. I was a little bit surprised! I guess I just expected my best friend and fiancé to not hook up behind my back, you know, out of respect for me! What the f**k was I thinking?!" I yell as I anxiously pace in front of him, thrashing my hands in the air.

"Mariah, listen. I meant to talk to you about this for a while now. I didn't want to do it here, but this just isn't working for me anymore. I want to take a break and explore other options first before I make such a big commitment."

His words cut me like a knife; I can feel the bile rising in my throat, "God damn it! We have been together since sophomore year of high school, Aaron! You are all I know. Was this all just wasted time?"

"I'm sorry, I need to see what else is out there. I want you in my life, just not as my girlfriend right now, or my fiancé," He admits.

"How long have you two been seeing each other?" I ask begrudgingly.

"We aren't seeing each other; we hooked up a couple of times, but it doesn't mean anything!"

I throw my hands up in the air in surrender, "Well, it does to me!"

Without hesitation, I pull the ring off my finger, grab his hand, and slam it into his palm, "There! You are free to do what you want as if this ring was enough to stop you anyway."

"Mariah, please. It's not a no; it's just not now! I need time to think. I need space!" he pleads.

What the f**k am I supposed to say to that? I stand there silent to contemplate for a moment, "Okay, Aaron, I'll give you the space you need to explore other options. If Lacy is who you want, then so be it. I will tell you, though, she is not a commitment kind of girl. If that's what you are thinking, you got another thing coming. Call me when you come to your senses. I just hope I'm still around when you do."

Leaving him speechless, I turn and continue walking down the street, scanning my contact list for Mom's number on my Nokia. Still standing in the spot I left him, he calls out to me, "Mariah, please don't be this way!"

I refuse to turn around; I just keep walking. I hear his footsteps in the distance as he runs away in the other direction towards the party. I muster up every bit of strength I have left, selecting my mother's number from my contact list, and pressing dial. As it starts to ring, she picks up to answer, "Hello."

I start sobbing, "Mom, please come pick me up."

"Why what happened?"

"I'll tell you later, Mom, Please," I plead with her.

"Okay, where are you?"

"I'm at 1501 Clifton Avenue."

"Christ, Mariah! I'll be there in a few minutes. Keep your phone turned on. Do you have your pepper spray?" she asks in an irritated tone.

"Yes, Mom, please hurry."

"Okay, I'll be there as fast as I can."

I disconnect the call and plop down on the sidewalk. A young couple walks hand in hand around me, without saying a word. I'm glad because I don't want to have to explain myself right now. I'm seated on the hard concrete, head in my hands, feeling as if my heart has been ripped from my chest. This sucks so f*****g bad!

A few moments go by, and Mom drives up, honking the horn. I pull myself up from the sidewalk and climb into the car. With a worried look on her face, she questions me, "Darling, what happened?"

"Aaron and I broke up," I respond quietly.

Her face drops, "What?!" Why!?"

I wipe the tears from my eyes with my thumb and index finger, "Mom, I can't talk about it right now."

She hands me some tissues, "Well, you guys may work it out, honey." She says reassuringly before speeding off down the road. 

I wipe the tears from my eyes with the tissues and blow my nose. Hopefully, she's right, but I'm not so sure. Once we pull into the driveway to my house, I climb out of the car, and Mom leads me through the front door. Without saying a word, I march upstairs and throw myself onto the bed.

Up until tonight, I thought my life was perfect; now, it's a complete disaster! My Mom always told me that a breakup is comparable to death, in that you grieve that person in the same way as you would as if they had passed on. I never understood it before, but now I'm starting to realize she may be on to something and that it's not just her being over-dramatic as usual. I'm grieving the loss of someone, well, two people, Lacy and Aaron. How can I ever trust either one of them again? Lacy was supposed to be my best friend; did our friendship mean that little to her? How can I ever compete with Lacy? I'm not even in the same ballpark as her. Nobody looks at me like they look at Lacy; I tend to fade into the background.

I can't stand by and let her take Aaron away. She doesn't know him like I do or care about him like I do. I will have to bide my time and wait for my moment. That's what I'll do; I can't give up on him, on us. I'm going to do everything I can to win him back. If Aaron wants space to figure things out, that's what he will get.

I realize I need to try to sleep; maybe I'll wake up from this nightmare. Maybe Aaron will come to his senses tomorrow and come crawling back to me. Go to sleep, Mariah... Tomorrow's another day...

The next morning, I am awakened to the sound of birds chirping outside of my window. This used to make me happy, but today I want to drown it out. I turn and glance over at the clock; it's 8:00 am. A feeling of sadness overtakes me once I recall what happened the night prior as I'm waking up to a world with no Aaron and no Lacy. I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, picturing Aaron's beautiful blue eyes, his dark hair, his body; he is a total catch. Sure, he's a little bit arrogant and egotistical, but his career path fits him perfectly. Doctors tend to be that way. I didn't mind, though; Aaron was someone I could see a future with. I dreamed about the house with the white picket fence, the two and a half kids we would have, and the dog... the whole nine yards.

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I kept replaying his words repeatedly throughout the morning, hoping that the meaning would change...

    This just isn't working for me anymore. I want to take a break and explore other options first before I make such a big commitment.

I hear the message loud and clear, kind of along the lines of it's not you; it's me. Why am I trying to look for an alternate meaning to his words? Overanalyzing everything, as usual! It's kind of my thing. This is the definition of insanity, right? Doing something repeatedly while expecting a different result? I know I am officially insane!

The entire day I lay in my bed and reenact the events that occurred last night. Were there any warning signs? Am I that blind or just naïve? The only thing I can muster up the energy to do today is to use the bathroom. I have no appetite, no desire to get a shower or get dressed. I just want to lie here and wallow in my misery.

Mom checks in on me throughout the day. I still can't even bring myself to tell her the whole story. It's as if talking about it makes it that much more painful. She pleads with me to come downstairs and eat, but I refuse. Luckily, I don't have anything going on today. I'm on break from school between semesters, but I do have to work Saturday night. That gives me two days to get my s**t together before I must face reality. Today, I just need to be alone in my thoughts.

Before long, night creeps in as I continue to be riddled with anxiety and heartache. I bite my nails down to the quick, lying in bed, imaging Aaron in bed next to me. I recall the aromatic scent of his cologne and how it would invade my nostrils. My body would react every time to his delicious scent. It was comforting, familiar. I can almost feel his hands exploring my body, how he would tease me as he would leave a trail of kisses down my abdomen, and to my inner thighs. He never went south, though; he said it wasn't his thing. I didn't mind; he satisfied me in other ways. What could I possibly be missing out on anyway? I continue to lay there, lost in my thoughts in my dark and quiet room. Before long, I fall into a deep sleep.

The next morning, I awaken from my slumber and glance at the clock on my nightstand; it's 11:30 am. I decide I need to get up and venture out of my room a little bit today. As I stumble downstairs to the kitchen, I find the house is quiet; nobody is home except for me. Mom and Dad are at work, and my little brother is probably at a friends' house. I open the refrigerator door to see if anything looks appetizing, but my attention is drawn elsewhere as I notice some movement outside the window. Curiosity gets the best of me at that moment. I know Lacy's back yard backs up to mine.

I peek out the window to find Lacy sitting on someone's lap on the deck. There's an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, bile rising in my throat. I don't think I'm going to like what I'm about to see, but I just can't pull away.

Watching as they get up and walk inside her house, I recognize the guy following behind her was none other than my ex-fiancé, Aaron! Why didn't I just look away? I knew this would happen! I feel like I'm going to hurl. My entire body trembled so violently that it was almost painful. I learned in school this is known as the fight or flight response, and it's in full swing right now.

Fuck! Those two didn't waste any time! It seemed as if they were almost flaunting their relationship in front of me. My heart is completely shattered into a million pieces. Not only did I lose my fiancé, the only man I've ever been with, but I lost my best friend too. I feel very alone in my grief, the betrayal is still there, but the love I have for both doesn't go away that easily. Surely, he will come to his senses. When the time comes for Lacy to drop him for someone else, I will be there to pick up the pieces. Until then, I will just bide my time and wait. I do love him; at least I think I do.

I run upstairs and lock myself in my room for the rest of the day, wallowing in self misery. Mom and Dad check on me when they get home from work. Mom begs me to come downstairs, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I was able to discuss a little bit of what went down last night to her. She didn't say much; she just patted my arm reassuringly and told me it would work out, but I wasn't so sure.

My little brother, Drew, who's Mom and Chuck's biological son, made every effort to sneak by my room and make snarky little comments towards me. It was his way of trying to cheer me up, but I ignored him. I can't deal with him right now, or anyone for that matter; I just want to disappear. So, I remain in my room for the rest of the night.