Making a change

622 Words
I woke up to the sound of my alarm going off. Every fibre of my being wanted to hit snooze, and allow myself the luxury of a few more minutes snuggled under the covers. I had every excuse in the book; it's too cold, it's still dark, I'll start tomorrow... But I fought it and stood up, my aunt's words ringing in my head: complaining won't get you anywhere, you need to be willing to make work to make the changes yourself.  My aunt had left some workout gear on chair, and I went to pull it all on. I desperately wanted a shower, just to wake me up, but knew it was pointless when I was more than likely going to need another shower when I got back. After getting dressed, I redid my ponytail, threaded it through the back of a baseball cap, and inspected my look in the mirror.  The reflection staring back at me was not my friend. I looked at the love handles sneaking their way over the top of my yoga pants, my arms just looked so flabby and untoned, my skin was breaking out and I just felt disgusting. My 16 year old brain believed I was the fattest, ugliest girl on the planet. In truth, I was a normal teenage girl with a normal, average body, but I relentlessly compared myself to the 'pretty girls' at school. The girls who got all the male attention and always looked incredible, with their tiny waists and flawless skins. I never even had as much as a glance.  'Olivia, there is nothing wrong with you!' my mother would say. 'one day when you are older and have had children, you are going to look back at pictures of how you are now, and wish you could look like this again, and that you appreciated it while you could.' Maybe she was right, but I couldn't see it. My aunt was the first person to be honest with me and not try and placate me, much to my mother's disdain.  She had come to visit, and I'd been complaining about how fat I looked and how none of my clothes fit right. That is when she'd made the comment about being willing to make a change. My mother was horrified, and it had descended into an argument about how my mother was looking out for me, being sensitive to the fragile emotions of a teenager, and a low blow about how my aunt wouldn't know anything about how to raise a child as she had none of her own. I'd heard it all and I'd physically gasped when my mother said that, but my aunt had simply countered with an 'I'll show you!' type of moment, and asked if I could come and stay with her over the Summer.  I'd eagerly agreed. My aunt had given me a speech about how there was absolutely nothing wrong with me, but if I was truly uncomfortable with my body, all I needed was a little diet and exercise to tone and firm. She was willing to buy me some expensive skincare products and teach me some makeup tricks. The plan was that I'd stay with her so she could supervise - mom wasn't the most consistent with healthy meals, and my aunt owned some gym equipment and had a large wooded area behind her house with a great jogging trail.  Today was the first day of the new me. I pulled an oversized t-shirt over the tank top. I knew I probably wouldn't see anyone, but I felt more comfortable being a little more covered up. I quietly headed out the door and set off on my first ever jog. 
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