he must be at least my age or bigger then me, he look so good in he's sweaty self but he hardly says a word ,i don't think he can talk I've been here twice but he looked at me as if aim from a anther planet ,i want to get to now him he might be my night and shine amour ,my parents are very strick i was not aloud to be near the help ,or far from the palace ,he's name was Simon,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,black and handsame

iam the second born to both my parents,but was never loved by either one,they told me themselves.my life turn to a early marriage and found myself an handsame husband on the age of 16 with 5 beautiful kids but still i dont understand love ,the more he loves me i push him away,he started cheating yes why not its my fault i push him away ,he needs sameone better not me ,ohh my kids love me.my first born is a girl shes like an angle send from heaven i cry every night in her bed next to her its not fair,what does she understand but i dont have friends or family iam alone since iam good at pushing everyone away that cumes closer i dont go out enjoying at all,so i drink myself drank and dump all my problems on my first born which is 14 years, i gave up on life and love. i do nothing my daughter does all the thinks in the house ,cleaning, cooking,laundry and i do nothing but want to now how to love and been loved.my two sons sem and jacob they are so protective but i dont understand why,they say i need sameone to look out for me,,,,i get drank and started fighting but he always hold me to hes chest and say i love you what does that even means ,he cleanse my vomit every night and swears hell never leave me,i feel my hard pumping so fast if he breathes in my face its irritating i push him away and says i hate you,but he smiles and says iam here ,and hes sorry for sleeping with sameone else i don't care,and then my two twins they look like him very beautiful ,they kiss me everday,they say i love you mommy😭😭why why.....