One Last Chance

Three: I will be fine

"What's your comment on the marriage between your ex boyfriend, Mr Mulwa and your former PR officer Charlotte?" I  try mimicking the journalist.

Stupid journalist.

"I'm so sure that's not how she sounded." Seline says as she hands me a cup of coffee. My hands are shaking as I take a sip. It's due to the cold but I feel like it's more than that.

The news I received is tearing me apart.

After the journalist rubbed on my face about Trevor's marriage, I didn't want to say anything else, I got in the car and Tyson and Joe drove me to Seline's place. Tyson then left. I've been coiled on this sofa for the last thirty minutes or so, just trying to find a distraction. But I can't hold myself from thinking about it.

"You weren't there, she sounded like she was sent to break the news to me, I hate her." I'm trying to hold myself together because if I let everything sink in I might have a break down.

He's married, her, of all people. I don't even want to think about it.

"Joe can confirm to us if that's how she sounded."

"She was more clear with her words, Pascale is breaking." He says sacarstically and Seline laughs.

I don't even see what's funny about it.

"I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that, everything about him was a lie so you guys shouldn't be making a joke out of it, he pretended to love me then he marries that woman that I despise,the woman that hates me more than anything in this world. "My voice is so high and I'm struggling to keep the tears at bay, I don't want to cry.

I moved on. It's been four years, I should have moved on.

"Honey, whatever you had with him is in the past, he is married just focus on yourself and don't let him try to bring you down." Seline says as she slumps on the sofa next to me.

There are a lot of questions in my head, I just want to know why he married her. I know four years was definitely long enough for him to marry, but her? Seriously. I feel like he broke my heart all over again.

"How long have they been married?"

"Six months, I guess." Joe says in doubts.

"It's seven months now." Seline corrects.

Seven months and I didn't even know about it. I know I wasn't around but that's why we have phones and computers, for communication. I didn't even see anything on the Internet. Unless they never wanted people to know about it.

"Did they have a secret wedding? How come I didn't know about it?"

Trevor is a famous guy, the news of his marriage should have gotten to me no matter what.

"An invites only."

"And you guys knew about it?"

"Charlie sort of invited me to be his plus one, they schooled together or something like that." Her boyfriend.

"So you attended the wedding?" She nods nervously.

"And you didn't see it necessary to tell me."

Why do I feel so betrayed.

"I'm sorry, you were getting your life together and I didn't want to bother you with news about him. It would break your heart."

I don't think it makes any difference because, my heart is still broken. I deserved to know, the moment he walked down the aisle with her. I had the right to know.

"Joe you also knew about it?"

"I— we.."

"So, basically, I was the only one that didn't know my ex boyfriend got married to his ex girlfriend?" My voice is so raised and my breathing has heightened. I really need to hold myself together.

"This is what we were avoiding, you breaking down and going back to the person you were four years ago just because of him."

Whatever she's saying doesn't even make sense to me.

"I'm fine."

Not really but I have to.

"I thought you said you had moved on." I'm tempted to tell Joe something rude but I keep my mouth shut.

He won't understand.

"She's moved on, just let it go Joe."

"She doesn't look like one who has moved on, Pascale do you need a reminder of what that guy did? He used you just to avenge his wife's death, the attempts on your murder? He almost had me killed. My dad is dead, Remember all that, just in case you're still holding on to him."

He is making it worse.

"Joseph stop." Seline warns him but he ignores her.

"No, seriously? Mona you should be happy he is married, he won't fool you again, it's been four years, stop holding on."

I can't believe he would say that to me. I know he hates Trevor for everything he did but he didn't have to tell me that. A warm tear rolls down my cheek.

"You need to leave." Seline tells him.

"So now you're throwing me out of the house because of I'm telling her the truth?"

I was trying so hard not to cry, but he is making it worse. He is my best friend, he is supposed to be having my back, not condemning me.

"Joseph, I know you're bitter, but you wouldn't understand this, I loved him, maybe you haven't fallen in love yet and watch the person you love being taken away, you would understand." I stand up to leave. I'm not going to have this fight with him.

I just want to lock myself in a room, probably cry myself to sleep. That's what I'm actually going to do. I've had a long day.

"Do you have any alcohol in here?"

"I don't think it's good if you drink.." Joe tries to stop me but I cut him off.

"Do you have one or I should go buy?"

"There's scotch in the cabinet, it's Charlie's though."

I don't say another word, I walk to the cabinet and take the bottle and a glass. I stayed with Seline for sometime so I know her house perfectly. I don't want to talk to anyone so I head to my room.

It's going to be a long night.

The moment I get into the room, I lie on the bed and let the tears flow. Things shouldn't be happening this way. I need to let it sink in that he never loved me. Maybe that way I'll get to move on from this heartache.

I wish it was that easy.

I open the bottle of scotch and when the smell of the alcohol hits my nose, I put it away. Drinking is not going to be an option. I hate alcohol. It has always been a comfort zone during my tough times, but it doesn't mean I like it.

I hear a knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" Seline's voice comes through. I don't want to talk to anyone so I pretend to be asleep.

"I'm coming in." She unlocks the door and walks in. I should know there's no way I can avoid her.

"Are you okay?" She sits on the bed and I move from my lying position and sit.

"Yea." There's nothing really I can tell her.

"Joe was being a jerk back there." More than I jerk I must say.

"He shouldn't have told me that."

"I know, that's why I've thrown him out of the house. He still has the bitterness."

She rubs my shoulder gently and I dry my tears with the back of my palm.

"But he is right, I should have moved on a long time ago, this is not supposed to be affecting me." I'm just angry that he stated the truth so harshly. We all know the truth always hurts.

"It's okay to feel the pain, I won't judge you for still holding on." I don't let her say another word. I wrap my arms around her and I'm glad when she pulls me into a warm embrace and lets me cry in her arms.

She has been the most amazing friend I've ever made. She always understands my situation.

I pull out of the hug once I've had enough of the crying.

I hate to ask this but I want to know more.

"Was it a white wedding?"

"Not really, just some ordinary boring ceremony, trust me it was a waste if my time."

That's good. At least he didn't give her a white wedding.

"Did she have a gown on?"

"No honey, she was in some pink dress, it was a hurried ceremony, with very few guests. She wasn't even pretty,she hired a very unprofessional make up artist. She looked like a zombie.

I chuckle when she says that. And a long silence follows.

"It hurts, you know?"

She nods as she rubs my arm gently.

"Knowing that he chose her and not me."

"I know, but if you were to ask me, he wasn't happy on his wedding day. I don't think he married for love.

Then why did he marry her?"

It doesn't make sense at all. When I was with him, I saw it in his eyes, he never loved Charlotte, so I don't understand why he married her. But maybe because of the chemistry they had when they were teenagers, I mean they even have a daughter together.

"I wish I knew the answer to that honey."

I also wish I knew the reason.

"But I know one thing though, that it's time you get into the world of dating too. You deserve some happiness."

She is right, maybe it's time I let go and find someone else. I don't have to find someone else though,  because there's already someone.

"Why do you have that grin on your face?" She noticed.

"Nelson asked me out on a date." I tell her with excitement.

"Wait, the Nelson?"

I nod.

"The lawyer?"

"Yeap." I know she didn't expect that. I haven't told anyone that he sort of was interested in me. I didn't think it was necessary, because I knew we would never meet. But now that I'm in the country I should just go for that date.

"He is handsome."

"He is." I can't agree less, the first day Todd introduced him as my lawyer, I was attracted to his looks.

"Have some rest and make sure you have fun on that date, and forget everything Trevor because one thing you taught me is that no matter what happens, one always finds a way of being fine, so, you will be fine."

I smile when she says that, because I know she is right. I will be fine.

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