THE BADASS

I was sipping my coffee when my boss entered my cubicle. It’s a Monday morning and his early presence at the premises of the Cumberbach Tower gave me chills. This is not typical. There is this disgust or frustration painted in his face--his almost perfect face and I hope you didn’t get me wrong. I am not gay. Not that I have grudges against gays but I am just not. Period. "Guile, diba guwapo naman ako?” Let me figurative describe what happened next. The ticking of the clock was very audible at pakiramdam ko mabibingi na ako sa sobrang katahimikan. Sa di kalayuan, maririnig ang mga yabag ng mga sapatos na marahil ay mula sa mga paparating na mga empleyado ng Universal Cummerbach. I averted my gaze sa boss ko. He definitely looks good in his three-piece Black Armani. Gone is the dangerous aura of Devlin Francis Cumberbach who just jailed two criminals yesterday night. He is pouting and that is very funny to look at. I faked a cough to supress the laugh that is beginning to hurtle in my aesophagus. This job has been good to me for ten years now and I don’t wanna loose it by just laughing at my weird boss. “The question is awkward sir.” I said and sipped the remaining coffee of my yellow mug. His face contorted in disgust of my reply. “Ang simple lang naman dapat ng sagot . OO oh hindi lang naman...at wag mo nga akong English-in. nasa Pilipinas ka!” Doon na ako humagalpak ng tawa. Why not? Devlin Francis Stavros Cummerbach is a Havard-graduate with festive grades. And aside from that, kung magsalita ay akala mo naman purong Pilipino eh lolo lang naman nito ang may dugong Pinoy na di pa nga matatawag na buo dahil one-fourth lang ng dugo nito ang may bahid ng Juan dela Cruz. Idagdag pa ang katotohanang halos buong buhay nito ay iginugol sa iba’at-ibang panig ng America at Europe. Lalo niya akong sinamaan ng tingin kaya umayos akong muli ng upo at pilit na sinusupil ang ngiti. Mukang may problema nga ang boss ko. “Then you should have also think that I am a man with an ego same big as yours at ang gwapo lang sa paningin ko ay ang sarili ko boss," I said at tama ang hinala ko, ibinato niya sa akin ang isang pulang converse shoes—the right one. If not because of my reflexes ay siguradong sapol na ako nito sa mukha. “Lokong to oh...you really need to get laid pare. Wag ka ngang praning diyan!" sabi ko saka ibinato sa kanyang muli ang sapatos. “Se is such a badass, I need to find her and make her my bride!” My jaw literally dropped. I smell trouble.