Letting him go

*Alli* “Are you ready yet? You are going to be late for school!” My mom yelled from the kitchen. “I’m coming! I have to grab my jacket,” I replied, about to make my break for the front door. “Don’t forget to grab a muffin on your way out; you know what they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day!” She reminded me. “Mom, I’m not a baby anymore. I can take care of myself.” I replied, pretending to be exasperated. “I know you can, but moms always worry about their kids no matter how old they are,” she said, smiling. “Fine,” I said, grabbing a banana nut muffin and walking out the door. Only after the door had closed behind me did I regret not getting something to wash it down. What could I say? Sure, my mom was a bit overprotective, but she loved me, and I knew she only wanted the best for me. So, I tried to keep her happy. If mom was happy, so was everyone else. It was the first day of my senior year; I could not believe this day was finally here! My parents had surprised me with a purple BMW 320d, and I was super excited to show it off. Pulling into my parking space, I saw that most of my friends were already there. I grabbed my bag from the seat and got out but not before Macy made her way to my door. “Omg, Alli! It’s gorgeous!” Macy said, jumping up and down with excitement. Macy was my best friend, the closest I would ever get to a sibling. She has been my partner in crime since we were toddlers. “Nice ride, babe,” Nick said, pulling me into a hug. “Thanks,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him softly. “Hey, hey, hey, no PDA…get a room!” Macy smirked. Nick had been my boyfriend for the last year. Being as he is the Beta’s son, it only makes sense that we got together. Only we are not mates. We can mate with other people, but the connection will never be as strong. If you mate with someone, not your mate, the bond with that person can only break by mating with your true mate. Nick had not found his mate, and we have known each other since we were babies. His parents sent him away to boarding school when he was ten, and he just moved back last year. One look at his crystal blue eyes and his golden hair, and I was smitten. Since he had been back, things had been good between us. We had fallen for each other quickly. We had become fast friends again, and it progressed from there. I loved him, and I was not sure what I would do if I found my mate. At this point, I was not even sure I still wanted to find my mate. “Let me see what classes you have,” Nick said, wrapping his arm around my waist pulling me to him. “We have a few classes together,” I said, grabbing his hand so he could walk with me. As we walked to the classroom, I picked up the most intoxicating scent. “Do you smell that?” I asked, looking around for the source. “Smell what?” Nick replied, confused. “I guess it’s nothing,” I said, kissing him goodbye. “See you later and try not to miss me too much,” he said, grinning, letting me go reluctantly. “Come on,” Macy said, pulling me in the classroom and away from Nick. I only made it a few steps into the room before I was stopped dead in my tracks. In front of me was the most beautiful man. He was tall with jet-black hair and the greenest eyes I had ever seen. I stood transfixed by the realization of what was happening. My breath caught in my throat, my heart was beating wildly, and I was about to have a panic attack! The word Mate echoed in my head. I had found my mate! He turned his head to look at me, and our eyes locked. He sucked in a startled breath, a shocked expression on his face. I saw love, sadness, and regret in his eyes. But then, he ran his hand through his hair, and I saw it. His gold wedding band was resting on his ring finger. My heart dropped, and my eyes started to water. Our teacher, my mate, was married. He took a step towards me, but I turned my back to him, grabbing Macy’s hand and pulling her out of the classroom behind me. I did the best I could to stop my hands from shaking and calm down enough to tell Macy what was happening. “What’s wrong, Alli?” Macy asked, a worried look on her face. “He’s my mate.” I stuttered out on the verge of tears. “Who?” She asked. “Him,” I said softly, pointing to the teacher that was watching us from the open door. “Omg! Why aren’t you happy?” She said with a massive grin on her face. “Macy, look at his hand,” I answered dejectedly. It seemed like forever before she realized what was happening. “Oh, Alli, I am so sorry!” She said, hugging me.  What was I going to do? “We can leave Alli. You don’t have to go back in there.” Macy said, her eyes meeting mine. I looked inside, and my eyes met his making my heart constrict painfully in my chest. I forced my gaze from his and forced my feet to go back into the classroom, not looking his way. I sat in my seat Macy right beside me. I took a breath fighting the feelings swirling inside of me, wanting nothing more than to fall apart. Macy pushed her desk closer to mine and laid her hand on mine, her message clear, she was here.   *Matthew* “Class, quiet down,” I said, standing in front of the class. “I’m Mr. Eastman,” I absently instructed. My heart was beating so hard that I was sure it would beat out of my chest. My wolf was going crazy. Finally, finally, I had found my mate! She was beautiful; she had dark brown hair with fair skin and hazel eyes.  I desperately wanted to pull her close and never let go. I knew that she knew I was her mate. I also knew she had realized that I was married. The look of hurt and sadness I had seen in her eyes was almost too much for me to take, but there was nothing that I could do to ease that pain. I had chosen to take a woman who was not my true mate, and now I would have to live with that. I sat in front of the class, watching her every move, not able to look away. I watched, transfixed by the rise and fall of her breathing. Her friend glared at me—anger in her eyes. The Alpha in me stirred at her disrespect. When her attention went back to my mate, I let out a breath that I had not realized that was holding.  My mate never once looked up at me; she kept her eyes focused on the desk in front of her, avoiding my gaze. I knew that we would have to talk about us being mates eventually. That conversation would happen. “Mr. Eastman,” a girl in the front of the class said, snapping me from my thoughts. “How old are you”? the redhead asked, batting her eyelashes. “25,” I briskly replied, feeling annoyed. “You single?” she quipped back. “No, I’m not,” I said, the words that felt like poison on my tongue. My eyes meet the hateful stare of her friend, a low growl escaping my lips. I closed my eyes, trying to calm my wolf. He was angry at what I had done. When I opened my eyes, my mate was starring at me with so many emotions in her gaze. “How long will you be here?” Her friend asked, her tone not friendly. Her message had been made clear. She was protective of my mate. My wolf growled his approval. “As long as I’m needed,” I said using my Alpha tone. She was taken aback but not for long. She refused to back down. “He’s coming,” the girl said to my mate, her eyes lighting upwelling with tears. Who was coming? And why? I just needed to speak to her to explain. What could I say that would ever make this right? What were the right words to describe what I was feeling at this moment?   *Alli* When the bell rang, I grabbed my books and ran out of there with Macy right behind me. “What’s wrong?” Nick said, pulling me into his arms the second I stepped out of the room. “I need to get out of here,” I said, shaking on the verge of a breakdown. “It’s bad, Nick. Take her home.” Macy said, her eyes worried. I could only concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other on the way to the car. “Babe, what’s wrong?” Nick asked, pulling me to him, concern in his eyes. “Alli,” He said, lifting my face to him. “Are you feeling sick?” He asked, searching my face for answers.  “Please, just take me home, and I’ll explain everything,” I whispered, trying to keep the tears from falling. The whole ride home, I fought with what I knew was coming. There was no stopping it. This single moment had broken me. When we finally pulled up to my house, the dam broke tears back anymore. Ugly sobs racked my body. “Alli, you’re scaring me,” he said, pulling me out of the car and carrying me inside. I wrapped my arms around Nick’s neck and laid my head on his chest, the pain more than I could bear alone. *Mathew* As soon as the bell rang, my mate ran out of class. I rushed out to see if I could catch up to her. I needed to talk to her. I needed her to understand why I had done what I had. My heart stopped at what I saw, and a soft growl left my lips before I could stop it. There was my mate wrapped in the arms of a tall blond boy. He looked at her with so much love and adoration that my wolf wanted to kill him. I wanted to kill him. She held on to him as if her life depended on it. The jealousy that went through me was like nothing I had ever felt. It was primal. She was mine. I wanted to pull her out of his arms more than I needed my next breath. I was so close to shifting I knew I needed to get myself under control. I took deep breaths to gain control, but I kept inhaling her scent, and it was making me crazy. His scent mixed with his was my breaking point. I shifted. Thankfully I was locked inside my classroom. *Nick* I carried Alli up to her room and sat on her bed with her in my arms; she was still crying uncontrollably. I had come running when Macy had messaged me that Alli needed me. “What’s wrong, baby?” I asked, kissing her temple gently. She looked up, her eyes red. Tears were staining her cheeks. “I found my mate,” she whispered in between sobs. Those few words shattered me. I was sick. I didn’t know if I could survive losing Alli. I loved her. She had healed my heart when my mate had rejected me. I would not have made it through all that without her. I never told Alli about my mate she thinks that I haven’t found her yet. I took a deep breath and looked up at her. “Who is it?” I asked softly, not wanting to know. “Mr. Eastman. He’s subbing here until Mrs. Jones comes back.” She answered. “Shouldn’t you be happy?” I asked, ignoring the heartbreak I was feeling. “He’s married,” she said, tears running down her face. “Alli, I’m sorry,” I said, meaning every word. “I know nothing I do can make this better for you.” I paused,” I’m here, Alli, no matter what. No judgment. I love you, and I only want you to be happy.” I said, wrapping my arms around her knowing she needed me and the comfort my presence would bring her. I knew her heart was hurting, but I was not going to let her go that easy. I was going to fight for her. Her mate didn’t deserve her. He was with someone else, and a tiny part of me was happy about that fact. She laid her head on my chest and cried until she fell asleep. I held her like she was a piece of glass that would explode if I was not careful.  I held her close to my body, knowing that when she woke up, the heartbreak would still be there, and there would still be nothing I could do to help her. *Alli* It had been a long, painful week. I had cried so much that I was pretty sure I didn’t have any tears left. Nick had stayed with me every night. It was easier to sleep when I was in his arms. He made me feel safe and loved. I loved him. It would be a lie to say that I didn’t. Nick went home once I was feeling better. I knew he needed to rest. I had skipped Mr. Eastman’s class all week, not wanting to face him. Not ready to face him. The hurt was still so fresh. His betrayal cut deep. I didn’t want him to know how much he had hurt me, how much he had devasted me. I had Nick, and he was all I needed. Nothing I did could change how I knew things would end for us. The knowledge tore me up inside. The facts were that he was married. The thought of breaking up his marriage didn’t sit well with me. Mate or not. “We are having guests for dinner,” My mother said, coming into my room. “He’s the Alpha from a neighboring pack. He has a teaching degree, so when your dad asked for a favor, he accepted.” “We invited him and his wife to dinner as a thank you.” She smiled. My heart dropped. I knew it was going to be the Eastman’s. I was sure of it. I did not know how I would deal with the fact that I would have to see him with his wife. From what my mom had told me, he was a young Alpha, and he had been married for a few years. She said that there was talk that his wife was very nice and that she was human. “Mom, can I just sit this dinner out?” I asked hopefully. “Alli, that would be rude,” she frowned. “Mom, please, I can’t do this,” I begged with tears welling in my eyes. “Why are you so upset about dinner guests, honey?” My mom asked, becoming concerned. “Are you still not feeling well?” She asked, checking my head to see if I was hot. “Alpha Eastman is my mate, mom," I confessed with a sob. "What!" she said, realization finally hitting her. "How do I sit there and watch him with his wife, knowing that he's mine?" “Why couldn’t he wait for me?” I asked, my voice cracking with emotion. “Oh honey,” my mom said, wrapping her arms around me. “You are a beautiful, intelligent girl Alli. The daughter of an Alpha. Future Alpha of this pack. The loss is his. Has he said anything to you?” She asked, running her finger through my hair to soothe me. "I've been avoiding him; I bet he doesn't even know that I'm that Alpha's daughter. What does it matter what he says or tries to say. It doesn't matter, mom. He is married. I wish it didn't bother me so much." I said, closing my eyes at the pain those words caused. "Honey, I'm so sorry.  I would never have put you in this position if I had known. Does Nick know?" She asked. "He does. I couldn’t have made it all these days without him.” “We have to tell your father,’ she said, meeting my eyes. “Please don’t. I don’t want him worrying about me. I’m going to be okay, mom. It may not be right now, but I will get through this. “Fine, but call Nick. You are going to need all his support tonight.” I nodded and quickly sent Nick a text letting him know what was happening. “I’m nervous,” I said, turning to look at Nick. “My heart is racing and feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest,” I said, feeling queasy. "Close your eyes, baby. Take a slow, calming breath. You are not alone, Alli. I will be here with you every second. I'm here for you." Nick said, pulling me into his arms and placing a gentle kiss on my lips, making the pain fade a little. Nick was so sweet and caring. He was willing to stand by me even though there was a chance that I could still leave him for my mate. His nobility made me love him more. My heart ached to know that this was killing him. What had I ever done to deserve him? “We better get downstairs,” I said, taking a long breath. "Baby, look at me," Nick said, pulling me back to him. He cupped my face in his hands and pushed the hair from my face gently. "Whatever you do, don't let him see that he's hurting you. Act like he doesn't matter. Just see me." He said, his eyes meeting mine. I nodded, knowing that he would never hurt me as Mr. Eastman had. It seemed like forever before the doorbell finally rang. Nick stood up and pulled me up with him wrapping his arms around my waist protectively. I couldn't help but lean back against his hard chest. He smelled insanely good. He smelled of his favorite cologne.  As crazy as it sounded when I was in his arms, I felt like I belonged here. It felt so right. I would do my best to pretend that my mate wasn't hurting me and that I wasn't dying inside from his rejection. I had Nick; I loved him.  As far as I was concerned, he was my mate. When they walked into the house, my heart stopped, he had his arm around her shoulder, and she was clinging to him. "Just breathe, baby," Nick whispered in my ear. “I've got you.” He said, taking my hand in his. Mr. Eastman's head snapped up to look at me, and I could see anger in his eyes. "Matthew, this is my mate, Anna, and my daughter, Alli," Dad said, introducing us. "Oh, and let's not forget Alli's long-time boyfriend, Nick, and our Betas son." Mom said, a smirk on her face. "Mr. Eastman." I politely replied, looking up at him. “This is my wife, Mandy," he said with a soft voice and a sad look on his face to match. "Nice to meet you," I said, looking away quickly.  His wife extended her hand to me, and I took it, smiling at her. "I’m Mandy.” She smiled. She seemed so sweet I knew then and there that there was no way I would break her and Mr. Eastman up. “Let’s go into the dining room,” mom said, leading the way.