I Love You, Emily Parker

*Kylie Matthews* All I hear is the giggles of a certain blond jumping on my bed. I know exactly why she's here bugging me. It's the first day of school. For both of us. She starts pre-k and it's my senior year. I roll over just as she jumps on me, making me grunt from her weight landing on my stomach. "Mommy, it’s time for school!" She screams as I lock her in a bear hug and throw the blanket over our heads. I tickle her sides and she squirms, trying to get away as her laughs fill my room. I love this girl so much. I stop tickling her when her breathing becomes labored and pull the blanket down so she can breathe some fresh air. I sigh in contentment as her sparkling grey eyes look at me full of adoration and love. I am not the best mother in the world, not by a long shot, but I would do anything for this girl, to keep her safe from my past. Which is why I am hoping I'm just late.   Flashback "Finally found you bella," he stalks towards me until my back hits the wall. I can't force any words out as he presses his body against mine, but the revulsion is there as my stomach churns. I can't let this happen again. I try to fight him off like I always have but it's no use. He turns me around and slams me into the wall. He shoves my pants down and rips off my panties. The fight leaves me as soon as he is inside. The pain is the same as it's always been. Luckily, it doesn't last long as I feel him tense behind me, releasing himself inside me. I am so glad he decided not to cut me like he used to. I have enough scars. End Flashback   That was over a month ago. I haven't seen him since and I'm relieved. My last period was lighter than normal, and I really hope it was just an easy cycle for me. But my luck is never good. My next period is due in ten days and I am praying for it to come. Dani is a handful this morning, fighting me every step of the way. "Daenerys," I say sternly as I'm trying to get her shoes on. "I thought you were excited about school. We can't go unless we are ready, that means I need you to get shoes on so I can get dressed." She rolls her delightful little eyes. I hear a chuckle come from behind me. Now it's my turn to roll my eyes. "Mom, can I get some help please?" "She is definitely your daughter." She walks into the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. This morning is overwhelming for me. Normally, I can just put her in slip on's when she went to daycare but she needs her tennis shoes for the playground now. She fought me on her outfit, she wanted a pretty dress instead of the shorts and shirt I picked. We have to leave in ten minutes and I'm not even dressed yet because I've been fighting with a stubborn four-year-old for the past few hours. "Come on Dani, get your shoes on." This ensures that she starts to scream and fight me more. "Whoa, hey what's all this screaming about?" My dad walks in the hallway leading to my parents' room. "Kylie, why aren't you dressed yet? Don't you need to leave in," he looks at the clock on the wall, "now?" "I've been trying to get your beautiful, stubborn grandchild ready for her first day of school and she has been fighting me every step of the way. So, no. I haven't had time to get myself ready and I still need a shower." I don't notice my voice raising and my tears falling until my dad pulls me into a hug. "It's okay Ky. I'll finish getting her ready, you go on and get ready. But a word of advice. Get yourself ready first, even if you have to get up a little earlier." He would know. I have an older brother, well two but I try not to think about Killian, my twin. He is no longer with us. But Connor is close to ten years older than me. He is married and has a little boy, Elijah, who is a year younger than Dani. I turn on my shower and get my clothes ready as the water warms. I look in the mirror after I strip my pajamas off and smile. I have to force that smile. My eyes shine a little less bright than before. But then again, that light left the day I met him and will never come back. The steam covers my reflection in the mirror and I go through the motions.   I make sure Dani's school knows everything in case she has a seizure when I drop her off. Homeroom has already started when I get to school. "Hello honey," Ms. Mary greets when I walk in. "How's that beautiful girl of yours?" "Head strong with attitude and a set of lungs." "Ain't that the truth," she scoffs. Ms. Mary watches Dani for me when she's sick on a day that I have a test and loves her to death. She knows exactly how my baby is. She hands me my late pass with the room number and teacher. E. Parker. "A new teacher, Ms. Mary?" "Yes dear, but I know I don't need to worry about you giving her a hard time, do I?" "No, ma'am." I knock and wait patiently at the classroom door with my slip in my hand. A moment later, the door opens to reveal a gorgeous blond-haired beauty. She is dressed in a navy-blue pencil skirt that hugs the curve of her hips with a light blue blouse tucked in. She has the most striking blue eyes, deep blue with a hint of sea green surrounding her pupil. She clears her throat and I realize I am staring. "Um, sorry I'm late, rough morning." I hold out my late pass to her. "Take a seat, don't make this a habit." "Yes ma'am." My eyes catch a familiar face sitting in the back, Caleb. My best friend in the whole world. And lucky me, there is an empty desk next to his. "You're late," he says. "You try getting a four-year-old ready for school. She fought me all morning after waking me up at five." I keep my voice low so only he can hear. Not many people know about Dani and I plan to keep it that way. The office staff, Caleb, and my-ex, and maybe one of my teachers, Mrs. Evans. "I thought she was excited to go to school?" "Me t-" I stop when I hear her talk. Her voice is really soothing. "I'm Miss Parker. I will be your home mentor. That means if you get into any trouble, your detention will be served with me after school. I don't like having to stay after school, so please behave. I will also be your teacher for last period AP Calculus class. Now, let's go around the room and introduce yourselves to me. I would also like to hear one interesting thing about you." I space as everyone takes their turn. "My name is Caleb Reid and looovvve music." Yup, he's gay but so am I. My turn, I stand as everyone else did. "My name is Kylie." I don't know what to say. There are plenty of interesting things about me, but none that I want to share. "And your interesting fact?" She asks with a smile. I shrug. "There isn't really anything interesting about me." Caleb scoffs. "Girl, how many languages do you speak?" I shrug as Miss Parker raises an eyebrow. Oh s**t, that's hot. "Um, like five not including English and Italian. So, seven-ish. I've never really counted." It's true, I haven't. Being who I am and my past, I had to learn a lot of different languages. Plus, my grandpa took us to many places after he retired the first time. "Do you mind listing them?" She asks curiously. "Sure. Of course, English, and Italian. Then Irish, Greek, Romanian, Bulgarian, Dutch, Croatian, Turkish, and Latin." "Wow, that is interesting. What made you learn so many languages?" Memories flood my mind and I grimace. "Enough of me please," I say, taking my seat. A look of concern crosses her face, but she nods. "Yes, please. There are so many interesting things about her," I groan at her voice. b***h. Miss Parker c***s an eyebrow. Again. f**k. I squirm in my chair under her gaze and a smirk forms on her face. Ughh. "Lauren, please shut up," I beg. We dated last year and she learned way too much about me, Dani included. Then the trust I had in her was broken. We didn't end on good terms and she has made it her mission to try and out my secrets. She gets up and stalks towards me with that evil grin of hers that tells me she is up to no good. I visibly start to shake as she gets closer. She slides a folded piece of paper onto my desk before turning and leaving. I exhale the breath I had been holding. Miss Parker passes out permission slips for a beach trip this Friday. The school throws a beach party every year to ring in the new school year. It's basically so kids can mingle and meet new friends. It's how I meet the best group of people, sadly they graduated last year and I haven't talked to them since. I eye the menacing paper Lauren laid on my desk. I work up the courage to open it. Her handwriting stands out on the lined paper. Lauren wrote me a letter.   Kylie, I just wanted to apologize for all the things I did to you. I understand if you never want to be my friend again because some of the stuff, I did is truly unforgivable. But knowing you, you have already forgiven me. You are an amazing person for always being able to forgive and I took that for granted and used that kindness for selfish reasons. I do love you. I promise to stop trying to tell everyone your secrets. You told me about horrible things that no one should go through. I'm sorry I told Caleb some of those secrets. I thought he already knew but that's no excuse. Give Dani-girl extra hugs and kisses from me. I love and miss you both. XOXO Lauren.   And this is what made me go back to her in the first place. Every time I caught her with someone else, or she tried forcing s*x, she would write me letters like this one. She has always had a way with words. I loved and trusted her with things I never even told my parents. Not this time. Never again.