Autumn Leaves & Pumpkins Please

two | xavier who?

dallas, america

october 12th

CRIED. Had to hide everything which reminded me of Chris, even my dog, because she and Jack would always play together. Skipped college, because I didn't want to see him. Compared myself to Sophie, stopped myself, but then searched her up on ** again. Tried to find happiness in memes. Realized I was more pathetic than my mom told me. Tried to find more memes.

october 13th

Was still crying. Had to consume gallons of water, otherwise I would have died due to dehydration. Hadn't left my bed the whole day, except for the times I stumbled to my kitchen to get myself chocolate and ice cream. Skipped college again. My friends came by, I acted as if I wasn't home, and hated myself even more afterwards. Mom broke into my apartment with pizza. She said that at least Chris told me. Imagined him with Sophie. Started crying harder.

october 14th

Woke up feeling better than the days before. Ate the leftovers of the pizza for breakfast. Went to school and saw Chris in the hallways, his smile showed nervosity and guilt. Smiled back, then ran to the restroom to cry again. Friends came by when I was home, took care of my dog and cleaned my apartment. Couldn't wish for better friends, honestly.

october 15th

dfw airport, america

Sadie walked up to us with a happy smile decorating her lovely face. She was the only one who instead of getting fries went to the bookshop.

"I do not understand how you are always so cheerful," Fadoua said when Sadie sat down with us.

"She's the type of girl who acts that she's happy all the time, but deep inside she's hella depressed and cloudy," Valentina said as she gave Sadie an investigative scan.

"No, I got the only depressed one among us a little present." Sadie shoved a package towards me and I thankfully took it.

"You really shouldn't have done that," I said while I carefully unpackaged.

"Look what you made her do!" Gwen exclaimed sarcastically, "Autumn's smiling!"

They all started chuckling, but I was amazed by what Sadie gave me. It was a book. Now, no one ever bought me a book, in fact, that was the first time I'd ever received a book. People never awarded me a way to increase smartness.

"It's the book I couldn't stop talking about," Sadie explained.

"I've read that one too! The author is Xavier Montgomery, he's such an amazing writer," Lily-Rose added.

"Xavier Montgomery... He's a model as well, right?" Gwen started looking something up on her phone. I looked at how her black painted nails touched the screen of her black iPhone every time she swiped to scroll.

"He's done some modeling in the past, but he is now focusing more on his books." Sadie seemed more enthusiastic than before and tucked a pluck of her beautiful ruddy hair behind her ear. She always did that when she was charmed by something, or in this case someone.

"His father, Darius Montgomery, is hosting most of the parties we'll be visiting. He is the owner of the company that produces BRO-S. My parents will be partnering with Mr. Montgomery's company, but since it is a creative quest, they put me onto it." Lily-Rose stole my book as she talked, looked through a few pages and then turned to the back of the book. She almost started drooling over Xavier's picture and held it up in front of my face. "He's hot, isn't he?"

I simply shrugged. The last thing I felt the need of was looking at other guys. I would say I was almost afraid to get to that commitment after my break-up. It needed some time, I was sure about that. Chris and I would do our out-and-outer best to stay close friends, because the chemistry we had would never fade away. It was not that we would get married anyway.

"Oh, come on! Say it!" Lily-Rose almost pushed the book into my face.

"He's so f*****g hot, I would ride his d**k off his body. There, I said it."

"Now say it like you mean it!"

"Lily, give her a break," Fadoua commaded. I gestured that it was okay. She gestured that Lily-Rose was crazy.

"Hm," Gwen sipped her black coffee and tried to join the conversation, but of course Sadie was faster.

"I think L-R has a point there. She should get C-bone out of her head and focus on some new T-bone.'

"You know T-bone is steak, right?" Gwen said.

"You know what I meant."

"Fair enough."

"Seriously?" Fadoua pulled her Nike Pro Hijab – which suited her so well – to the right place on her head and sighed deeply before continuing, "You want her to get involved with the same kind of mistake that broke her heart, also known as, men? You really think that after having s*x with a stranger everything is solved? You twenty-ish failures always think with your v****a's, shame."

"Poor Fad, always choosing the most boring option," Gwen yawned, "not that I don't agree though, men are trash, join the side of rainbows and cunnilingus."

"Not much rainbow-y about you, though." Valentina pointed at Gwen's full black outfit.

"You're not wearing stripes and stars either, are you?"

"You have a point there. Anyway, s*x is a great way to get your head off things..."

"A short-term solution, but not a long-term solution, in other words, useless." Once Fadoua had an opinion, she would fight for others to give in. Her hard-mouthedness usually made us agree with her, she was verbally strong.

"It's just s*x, Fad. Nothing more, nothing less." Lily-Rose shrugged and sipped her tea. Gwen looked at her tea and then made a face. Who would drink that poisonous s**t, she must've thought, because so did I. The smell of freshly plucked flowers made its way into my nose and I tried to imagine what actual flower tea would taste like. Sunflower tea, oh God, that sounded disgusting.

"I think Autumn will regret it, but it's her choice, of course." Fadoua looked at me like she wanted confirmation.

"I don't think I will have s*x with a stranger," I replied. Fadoua smiled at me while Lily-Rose looked worried.

london, england

London city truly amazed me. The dark, busy streets were magically lit up by old-fashioned lampposts and garlands of lights which decorated the sides of all kinds of buildings. We walked to our hotel and only managed to get some admiring wow's and ah's out of our mouths. None of us had ever been to London before, except for Lily-Rose, of course.

"It's right here," Lily-Rose pointed at a magnificent building in front of us, "this is Taj 51 Buckingham Gate, third on the list of most expensive hotels in London. My parents had to- well... economize?"

"Dude, I've heard of this hotel before. It's about 731 dollar per night so what do you f*****g mean economize? I hate rich people, but I love you Rosie," Valentina pulled Lily-Rose into a subtle hug and then got inside.

We followed her, and in only ten minutes we had checked in and got to our rooms. The suite was the largest one I had ever been in before, and had varied styles from the super high-technologic bathroom to the very old-fashioned bedrooms. It was comparable to a penthouse, and we had to most beautiful view over the never sleeping city ever. I stood still in front of the gigantic window spread all over one side of the living room and sighed deeply. I felt f*****g rich, like really f*****g rich. Never thought I would be in a hotel this expensive and beautiful. Never thought I would go to London either.

The only place I visited was Paris last year with Chris. It was my birthday present from him and he had saved up most of his wages over the year to be able to afford it. He really used to love me, didn't he? I was completely replaced by that blonde, fake w***e, so maybe not so much love after all.

"Helloooo? Is this depression on shaved legs dead?" Valentina waved in front of my face, causing me to wake up from my deep thoughts.

"Only on the inside," I replied.

"Same, babe!" I heard Gwen shout from probably the bathroom.

"Shouldn't you get ready?" Valentina stood right beside me and looked out of the window as well, then the neutral expression on her face suddenly changed and she got all excited. "Oh my god, I've been wanting to flash my boobs in an expensive hotel room for forever!"

Then she lifted her sweater and exposed her t**s. For me, not so special, for the London citizens, a true nightmare. I laughed about her random behavior – which wasn't so shocking, because she always did the most random stuff – and shook my head.

"Don't you ever get ashamed?" I asked her.

"Ashamed of these?" she turned her bare décolleté to me and then put her sweater down after a few seconds in which I could enjoy the sight. I mean, all Valentina's features were whether perfectly shaped or just flawless or both due to her Spanish blood. Her skin tone, curves, she had everything a girl wanted and got all the boys with it. She didn't care about it much, though, wasn't vainglorious whatsoever.

"Why do I have to get changed, though?"

"We're having a party in fifteen minutes, silly," Lily-Rose walked past us in a satin, long dress and high heels as she put in her earrings.

"Fifteen minutes?" I exclaimed as I choked on well... my own saliva, "But I have a jetlag!"

"Boo-f*****g-hoo." Even Gwen slipped into a black, revealing dress combined with of course her black Dr. Martens and silver accessories. "I want to get drunk as soon as possible, so you better hurry, A."

"Where even are we going?" I asked as I rushed to my suitcase and searched for the most fancy dress I possessed.

"A business party at Montgomery's. I'll be introduced to Darius and other owners of wealthy companies, so Gwennyth Evelyn Jade," Lily-Rose worryingly turned to Gwen who was grinning at her, "please don't get too drunk."

"Ew, why would we come then?" Gwen yawned and stopped struggling with her necklace for a second.

"For the hot British famous and rich men we'll be meeting, and probably f**k afterwards!" Sadie enthusiastically jumped towards us as she tried to fix her hair, but clearly didn't succeed without mirror.

"Not relevant to me."

"Because everyone there has a guest with them and since I don't have a boyfriend I had to take you guys. Don't feel too special, I'm not so keen on it either," Lily-Rose explained.

"Bro!" I shouted, kind of offended, "We're like the best guests ever, honestly. I mean, look at us, we're hot, young and put together."

And just when I said that, Fadoua tripped over her own dress. So put together.