life being a girl is hard same as just life itself. life has always left me with worries stress pain. Mine , it began at the ag

life being a girl is hard same as just life itself. life has always left me with worries stress pain. Mine , it began at the age of 5 years old , I was always the odd one the outcast from friends to family. I means I never fit in anywhere . I was bullied thrown aside . The year begin when starting school there was always times I was bullied by a teacher or my class mates and my mom being to strict I was to afraid to tell her, at least there was a certain lunch lady that always manage to put a smile on my face .One day things got worse when I was called in front of the class to count which I made a mistake she clapped me where I fell to the ground my teeth fell out while all the kids were laughing, it's the day I actually started hating school. The following year grade one it was super scary I was anxious but it came a day I actually made a friend even though my bullies were there too and new ones.I remember from grade 1 to grade 2 it was not so bad for at least I had my friend. Life seemed a bit good grade 3 started early year there was always this one girl who always bothered me, once early morning out of nowhere we were standing in the line she( Shain) just came out of the back standing behind me pushing me non-stop out of frustration I just hit her forgetting the lunch box in my hand I just hit her, all I heard was " Harriet what did you do" minding I'm still in the mind state of shocked, and anger. And from from that day I was always seen as the bad guy cause I reacted on what was done to me , I never even told my mom things happening to me at school for she was always busy and strict .life itself when on like that for me I was quiet angry short temper little girl no one wanted to be with. The teen life started puberty started breast came early monthly cycle came even before anyone guess that's the only time I was noticed , notice where my friend's brother started making advances at me , my friend and her two brothers and little sister they always came to our house if they parents are not home. One day my mom left us to go somewhere quick not knowing what will happen every one was outside while I was changing he suddenly came to my room trying to force him on me I managed to get loose where I straight ran outside pretending nothing happened all he could do was walk past me whisper " try say anything and you will see what I'll do to you" , I was quiet about it but all it did was eat me from the inside . The eighth grade made new friend I mean it high school what could go wrong , they were cool I can even be myself there makes even wonder why I changed school but I did and I dug myself another hole cause of the decisions I took. Once I even started at the new school things even started getting bad for me I felt out again and dealing with nightmares of being almost raped . I started getting so angry at the world at myself there was even times I just ran away from home just to get away from all that but was always seen as a disappointed by my mom . As time went on I confided in my cousin while she was staying with us biggest mistake, for months after another episode she told my mom where she went to my friends house and all trouble broke loose we stopped going church there I did not have the comfort of my friend anymore . Everything went on where my mom took me to see a therapist I never wanted to talk to strangers but with her but she never had the time .I failed the eighth grade made new friends at least for a while I was cool on the new group , but I always stick out like a sore thumb . I changed from that to another they were also friends but they were like the good nerds in secret I'll always say "they my nerds" whenever someone always seem to make a remake on why I hang out with them. And life went on like that in ninth grade boy challenges began the guy dated me everything was fine until I was dated so he can ask my friends number for his friend , in a way I was not angry that he did not like me but the fact he dated me just for some number he or his friend could have asked . The funny part was him walking around in school thinking that I hate it was really funny , and I never hated anyone even when they worst of the worst in ways I would tell myself if I do start hating it will just make me like them .